Family Members wanting MONEY

[LuvOrlando]

I've never given cash by itself but have sent 'extra' for birthdays & holidays to siblings with young kids who I knew could use it. I've also bought formula and diapers and extras like books, toys and coats claiming they were on sale. I would absolutely offer $ in an emergency but I'm not sure I would if I were asked outright. The very act of asking puts the other person in an awkward position, maybe the person asked can't afford to give and has no desire to divulge his/her financial position. It can lead to lots of resentment on both sides.

gw,
Don't allow your in-laws to make you feel guilty about how you choose to spend your own money. It is the parents job to take care of their kids and not the other way around. I know you guys are just trying to be nice but there is no reason for you to be paying all these bills...not when FIL is so flagrant. Maybe DH could offer to help his mother get disability and bypass his father.

Before I get flamed I'm not saying kids shouldn't help out their parents. I'm a volunteer for our Church and help out other peoples parents all the time. When MIL had knee surgery recently I fed her 2 squares daily and took care of the pets and brought her to re-hab 4 times a week. However, there is a huge difference between helping out and being taken advantage of...it sounds to me like you and DH know the difference too.

 

[jillyjoey]

It never fails to amaze me how people have the nerve to ask for money. I, fortunately, do not speak to the majority of my relatives, lol. However, I cannot believe the number of people I work with that ask for money. My response is the same -- if you wanted my salary then you should have put yourself through college as I did, put yourself through law school like I did and owe massive amounts of $$ to the fed gov't for my student loans.

Everything in life is priorities. I have worked at the same place since graduating law school 11 years ago and not once have I eaten out -- brown bag everyday. I also don't buy $500 purses like my sister does. However, I do like my Disney trips.

However -- don't let anyone make you feel bad by spending money on vacations. You know, my best memories of my childhood are my vacations. I hope to give my children some great memories too.

 

[jtopp]

Don't let it upset you. You make choices on how to spend your family time and money. We both work long hours, drive old cars, and save our money and take our children to WDW every year. We promise our children that on vacation, there is no work, no schedule, and that every moment of every day is devoted to OUR family time. We hear comments from family and friends all the time, but we will not change how we spend our family time with our children. WE earned it, and WE will reap the rewards.