Family is suffocating our Family trip UPDATED

[eangel12]

We had the same problem with my hubby's family. They live down in FL and they decided to invite themselves along on our first family trip (with our year old son). We politely told them that we would be happy to meet with them the first day we are there for dinner, but other than that, we have had things booked for 180+days and wouldn't be changing our plans. We told them it would be a busy schedule that is focused around our child's schedule. (They tend to think they can take over things...and have often hijacked other things and made them all about them!!) Just be firm!!

 

[kmk1180]

I'm already starting to cave......AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH.

I guess if I look at the schedule.
(See post 3)
My parents leave the night of wishes party.

The next day,Thurs we have Sunrise Safari and AK.
and Dinner at Boma.

And on Friday we ahve Princess breakfast and a few hours at EPCOT before we're off to Vero.

Doubt I can change the meals to get an ADR big enough for the whole group
this late (and not giving those up)
But I guess they could plan on meeting us at the parks one of those days.

EPCOT the only plus is my son really wants to trick grandpa into trying Beverly. he'll do that with my parents, that would allow him to do it for my wife's as well.


GOD I really need to WIN a trip so it HAS to be just the 4 of us.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

Dont change any of your plans. They are already "planned". If your family wants to see you, give them your schedule and say, here is where we will be and this is when we have free time. Dont feel obligated, its a vacation, your vacation.

This is what I would do except I wouldn't tell them exactly how long you are at WDW. That way I would say I'm going home sooner than I really was so I could have a couple of days at the end when you know you won't have anyone trying to meet up with you.

Good luck!

 

[bakenatj]

This is the main reason as a family we have decided that WDW vacations are "our family" vacation only! You start bring other family members it just adds to the craziness. Disney trips are something special we can enjoy with just our family. Trust me every other vacation we go with my side or her side of the family, so why not just make Disney something for our little family to enjoy together (DW, DS, DS, DD, and Me). My two cents for the day.

 

[SallySkelington]

I'm already starting to cave......AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH.

I guess if I look at the schedule.
(See post 3)
My parents leave the night of wishes party.

The next day,Thurs we have Sunrise Safari and AK.
and Dinner at Boma.

And on Friday we ahve Princess breakfast and a few hours at EPCOT before we're off to Vero.

Doubt I can change the meals to get an ADR big enough for the whole group
this late (and not giving those up)
But I guess they could plan on meeting us at the parks one of those days.

EPCOT the only plus is my son really wants to trick grandpa into trying Beverly. he'll do that with my parents, that would allow him to do it for my wife's as well.


GOD I really need to WIN a trip so it HAS to be just the 4 of us.

Just keep calm, keep your plans. This is your vacation, you worked to get there. Don't worry about your ADRs, I would keep that time allotted for your family, and spend whatever time you have to in the parks with the parents, the Beverly trick sounds great!

While it may be a disappointment this time around, things can always be done differently next time.

 

[sharadoc]

Hi. My only advice is that you will have a different experience if you include them, and that's up to you if it will be good or bad.

You have a lot of specialized ADRs and tours already booked and it's certainly not your responsibility to change any of those to accommodate them. Don't feel guilty about that at all.

If you can find a few hours during the days when you'll be just doing park stuff, let them know where you'll be and tell them to text or call when they hit that same park.

Our last trip had lots of friend experiences and it really changed the feel of the trip. It didn't feel like our regular family trip - not bad, but not great either.

(Dave - not you guys, LOL)

 

[torinsmom]

I've had people try to join me, but I just explained that we really needed this time as a family. If I were you, I would tell your family that and suggest maybe 1/2 day you get together as a bigger group. If it hurts any feelings, they will get over it. DS and I typically go alone, but this year we have my whole family joining us. It was planned this way and I'm sure we'll enjoy it, but it will be a different kind of trip

 

[bumbershoot]

My parents already think we spend more time with her parents and go to Disney with them all the time.

And is this true? If true, your wife needs to understand that they want some time, too. (as long as they are sane and safe, of course)

And then once this trip happens, THEN you deserve a trip with just the 4 of you, having appeased everyone.


But you know even if it's not true, you're still allowed to have your OWN trip.

 

[babyrich]

I'm already starting to cave......AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH.

I guess if I look at the schedule.
(See post 3)
My parents leave the night of wishes party.

The next day,Thurs we have Sunrise Safari and AK.
and Dinner at Boma.

And on Friday we ahve Princess breakfast and a few hours at EPCOT before we're off to Vero.

Doubt I can change the meals to get an ADR big enough for the whole group
this late (and not giving those up)
But I guess they could plan on meeting us at the parks one of those days.

EPCOT the only plus is my son really wants to trick grandpa into trying Beverly. he'll do that with my parents, that would allow him to do it for my wife's as well.


GOD I really need to WIN a trip so it HAS to be just the 4 of us.

Dont cave.... tell your family if they want to see you, they will have to plan around you. You are not being mean or selfish. Keep your ADRs if anyone wants to join you, than tell them they will have to see if they can get an ADR at the same time.

Remember to keep breathing!

 

[seashoreCM]

It's okay for the cousins to tag along but they don't get to decide anything. THey can go off on their own at any time they choose.

Let them save the peace for a change.

Also, if they are late to a rendezvous, just move on and let them call you to arrange the next rendezvous.

 

[Donalyn]

Good luck! I wish you well, as I've had my DH invite his parents along on a trip without talking to me about it and it didn't go so well. (We'd agreed to ask my parents and they said no. After that he just asked his parents without talking to me first. Then another relative "asked" if she could join us and for family political reasons, we really couldn't say no.)

Keep your plans!!!!! Enjoy your family.

(I'm so looking forward to that after our last DL trip where I was a tourguide to a party of 10.)

 

[dudelydude]

In all caps for effect:

IN CASE YOU DIDN'T GET A CRYSTAL CLEAR ANSWER ON YOUR DILEMMA, LET ME PUT IT IN PLAIN ENGLISH....DON'T YOU DARE CHANGE ONE THING!!!!!! MY FEELING IS THAT THERE IS NOT ONE SINGLE THING THAT GETS IN THE WAY OF MY INITIAL VISION OF A VACATION. I HATE UNFORESEEN CHANGES AND FAMILY ALWAYS CREATES THAT.

(Okay...gotta stop the caps)

I always look at it from the other side of things. Like, if me and the wife were the other couple that just happened to be in Orlando while family members are at WDW, I would do everything within my power to NOT impose upon their vacation. So, if I am you, I would be thinking about how they should just get out of your way and let you have your vacation.

 

[Cherinva]

First...take a deep breath.....second....don't change your plans at all. I agree with others...tell the family members when you have availability and then they can meet up with you....I wouldn't change any ADRs...we all know how hard they can be to get sometimes...it is YOUR vacation.

Whatever happens, I wish you all a great time!!!

 

[kmk1180]

Just keep calm, keep your plans. This is your vacation, you worked to get there. Don't worry about your ADRs, I would keep that time allotted for your family, and spend whatever time you have to in the parks with the parents, the Beverly trick sounds great!

While it may be a disappointment this time around, things can always be done differently next time.

That's the hair pulling part of it...this was the next time.

Even longer story behind that one.

Dont cave.... tell your family if they want to see you, they will have to plan around you. You are not being mean or selfish. Keep your ADRs if anyone wants to join you, than tell them they will have to see if they can get an ADR at the same time.

Remember to keep breathing!

Trying.
I since we're AK CL, I'm asking guest services if they can add 2 people to our Boma ADR. But not willing to add the whole group with cousins.
So it would be just adding her parents. By then my parents are gone so it's not that big a deal.

 

[Barnhill9586]

First: Sounds like you have a great vacation planned! Can I join you?

Second: Maybe you could turn the tables a bit by explaining to them that you have all of your ADRs and special events booked but that maybe they could give you their schedule since you would love to see them if you can work it out.

 

[MagicalMawMaw]

I don't really know what I'd do for sure. I love our family vacation time & our just our being together time so I know were you are coming from.

But... if my DH folks were already going on part of the trip I'd try & plan something with my folks as well. Of course, I'd faint...if my folks decided to meet up with us there! But I love my folks & can't stand to hurt feelings.

So I'd try to work at least a couple of times in to meet up...part of the day. If

Maybe Day 2...they could meet up at MK that afternoon

OR: Day 3...maybe you could get SciFI lunch for more people & have lunch together & spend time at that park for awhile.

OR: See if they want to get tickets & meet up at MSSSHP

OR: Day 6 meet at Epcot for the AM

Good Luck deciding what to do. Each family is different & what works for one doesn't work for another. And now that I'm a grandparent I'd love to meet up with my family sometime at Disney...but I'd never crash their trip.
.

 

[disnut8]

Here's my story on our now Family Reunion trip.

Our son and his family from Ohio decided to go the first week in January, 2012. They have never been together as a family. My son has been seven times (all with us), his wife twice (all with us), his daughter twice (all with us), but his son never.

I asked if he wanted us to come too (we live in Georgia and go to Disney World quite frequently). He said "it wouldn't feel like Disney World if you weren't there" so we are going as well.

Then my son mentioned this to his grandmother (my husband's mother) and now she and her other son are also coming for at least some of the time. And maybe my husband's niece and her boyfriend but they don't know.

Since my father and stepmother live within three hours of Disney World, I invited them.

Since my sister and her family live withing two hours of Disney World, I invited them.

I made reservations for my son and his family and my husband and me. We are staying at Pop Century on our dates. My mother-in-law asked me to make reservations for her and her other son so I did that. I have no idea what my sister and her family are doing or what my dad and stepmother are doing. They will have to adjust their plans to ours.

To complicate things, it will be my husband's and my 30th wedding anniversary. We will celebrate it with pizza by the pool at Pop Century and if others can come, great. And to add to the fun, both of my grandkids will be in the marathon kids races the Friday we are there and if anyone wants to come, great. My son and his wife made those arraignments on their own (I did provide the info for that, though).

We plan to tour with my son and his family but we will break up at some point. We all know that. I have no idea what my mother-in-law and brother-in-law will do. I believe they want to do "Harry Potter" one day so that's up to them. My sister will be on her own. My dad and stepmother will be on their own.

And that's how you enjoy Disney World with your family.

 

[Epcot_Pete]

Second: Maybe you could turn the tables a bit by explaining to them that you have all of your ADRs and special events booked but that maybe they could give you their schedule since you would love to see them if you can work it out.

Yeah...what he said, lol Seriously, while my wife and I get along with both sets of parents, we have our limits when we go to WDW. It's a lot of money to drop to end up not enjoying any of it because you have to play tour guide to the family. You only have so much time with your kids before they're all grown up and sometimes you just need to be with the family you created to make lasting memories and traditions that your kids can grow up and say "remember when..." and continue those traditions and memories with their families.

Option two....um...ditch them? You know, change your cell numbers, tell them you cancelled your vacation and drag the kids into a life of lies and get used to calling them by different names...might be easier than confronting the in-laws or your wife

 

[disndatworld]

IMHO I think you should consider DW & children in this.... Make them happy and you will have a great trip. The last person you want to get in a fight w/ over this is DW. Also, let her know you need some "alone" time w/ your own family. I mean it is your vacation, but when you are married and have kids there is always more than just 1 agenda and vote.

FWIW, we went to WDW in May and split a house w/ family. I really didn't want to. I wanted to have our own family vaca. I had a nice time but wished we had more "alone" time w/ just our family. But it was the best vacation our kids ever had, as they were with their cousins and they don't even want to think about going without them again. So, that's all I'm saying is try to find out about DW & the kids... mostly DW

 

[kmk1180]

IMHO I think you should consider DW & children in this.... Make them happy and you will have a great trip. The last person you want to get in a fight w/ over this is DW. Also, let her know you need some "alone" time w/ your own family. I mean it is your vacation, but when you are married and have kids there is always more than just 1 agenda and vote.

FWIW, we went to WDW in May and split a house w/ family. I really didn't want to. I wanted to have our own family vaca. I had a nice time but wished we had more "alone" time w/ just our family. But it was the best vacation our kids ever had, as they were with their cousins and they don't even want to think about going without them again. So, that's all I'm saying is try to find out about DW & the kids... mostly DW

Well when I say I or mine, in vacation.
I mean my kids, my wife and I.

And my wife is just as frustrated.

And kids, as stated, have had trips to Disney with both grandparents.
My parents in April 2010. (and will again in Oct this year.)
Her Parents Jan 2011, Jan 2009, Jan 2007.
So it' s not like the kids haven't had grandparents time at WDW.

What we haven't had is family time..kids, wife and I.
That's why it's frustrating.

A little further details, This was year 3 of 3 year DVC membership prize and was meant to
be our family time for just us. We planned out the 3 years in advance to share with everyone possible
but wanted to save year 3 for us. But that's not what's happening.