Family is suffocating our Family trip UPDATED

[disndatworld]

Well when I say I or mine, in vacation.
I mean my kids, my wife and I.

And my wife is just as frustrated.

And kids, as stated, have had trips to Disney with both grandparents.
My parents in April 2010. (and will again in Oct this year.)
Her Parents Jan 2011, Jan 2009, Jan 2007.
So it' s not like the kids haven't had grandparents time at WDW.

What we haven't had is family time..kids, wife and I.
That's why it's frustrating.

A little further details, This was year 3 of 3 year DVC membership prize and was meant to
be our family time for just us. We planned out the 3 years in advance to share with everyone possible
but wanted to save year 3 for us. But that's not what's happening.

Well, then it sounds like you guys know what you want. BTW, I did tell my relatives (who are in FL, and some in the Orlando area) that we were coming and didn't have time to visit with them on this last trip. It's not a comfortable conversation, but then again, there is no way to visit with everybody on vacation. Just keep your schedule then. Good luck!!!

 

[Mama Who]

Tell your wife what you need from your family vacation. If that means you need this one to be just you 4 and your parents, say so. Offer her what she needs at another time but tell her that you need this trip not to be about her family of origin. Maybe you can offer to do a trip with her folks next year.

 

[maccagerl]

You posted the answer yourself in your very first post-

"4. ALL Plans are booked ADR's and all reservations."

Repeat to yourself 10 times then repeat to all parents and cousins, then go and have a great time with your family!

 

[Stan Solo]

DW and I planed a vacation once to West Edmoton Mall for just the four(DD5 & DD3) of us so we could have a much needed family vacation.

All of a sudden some of my family members (who's kids are now adults and moved out) thought it would be a great idea if they joined us. DW and I were not pleased but could not say no. I ended up telling them that would be good idea but rather then hang out together all day it might be best if we split up and meet threw out the day. So that's what we did we had breakfast together at the mall then split up until dinner. The only thing that we did as a group was go on the submarine ride.

It was one of the best vacations any of us had!

When we met for breakfast we were able to talk about what we had planed for the day, when we met at dinner we showed off what we bought and what we did. My family members tried things that I would not have but then tried them after thier suggestion.

My advice for you is don't get depressed about the future. You don't don't know what it has in store for you.

 

[torinsmom]

Well when I say I or mine, in vacation.
I mean my kids, my wife and I.

And my wife is just as frustrated.

And kids, as stated, have had trips to Disney with both grandparents.
My parents in April 2010. (and will again in Oct this year.)
Her Parents Jan 2011, Jan 2009, Jan 2007.
So it' s not like the kids haven't had grandparents time at WDW.

What we haven't had is family time..kids, wife and I.
That's why it's frustrating.

A little further details, This was year 3 of 3 year DVC membership prize and was meant to
be our family time for just us. We planned out the 3 years in advance to share with everyone possible
but wanted to save year 3 for us. But that's not what's happening.

If you both feel this way, you need to explain this to the others. They probably have no idea you had this plan and think them joining you will make your trip more enjoyable. I would just tell them "We had a plan for this to be a special trip for just the three of us this year, so we aren't really into doing a group trip. We hope you understand that this is about us making family memories and not about stepping on anyone's toes". You really just have to say it, because otherwise, you are going to be seen as the spoil sport if you try to avoid seeing them once you're there.

 

[catrax]

I hate to sound cold hearted, but you only live once. This is YOUR vacation. YOUR family. No one else is concerned with your experience, so don't feel bad being selfish. You are spending thousands of dollars, after all. I know it's kind of a silly analogy, but if you ran into some family at a furniture store when shopping for a living room set, would you let them have a say in your purchase? No way! Similar investment. Your children also deserve to be the center of attention, so resolve to make this YOUR vacation and enjoy! Also, you don't owe anyone any excuses for how you proceed. Shame on anyone who would impose on your vacation.

 

[MomiTo2SwtGuys]

I would keep all of my plans "as is". Don't let it bother you that everyone else is going to be in Orlando. I would make it clear before you ever leave for vacation that you and your wife have taken a lot of time to make your plans and you are going to stick with them. Let them know that you don't mind if they follow around but you have plans for your little family and would like to keep it that way.

That is just the way the DH and I would handle it if we were in that situation! Hope you find a good solution. Even if everyone does join in, have a wonderful trip!

 

[larryz]

Tell them you'll meet them at the Matterhorn at 1:00 on the day you're at WDW.

 

[mamaprincess]

Same with us! Everytime I mention a trip we're taking to a family member, the next thing I know we have people coming with us. I've kept our December trip "on the down low" so far, and plan to as long as possible.

Shhh. I won't tell if you won't. I can't say anything to anyone at all because I have family members in Orlando. They don't need much notice. I need this trip to be done before anyone finds out anything.

 

[mmmagique]

You DO only live once.
I wish my family (some of which lived in Florida for quite some time) would have come with us on some of our trips. And I wish they still had that opportunity. But they're gone now.
I guess I'm gonna go against the grain a bit, and say...try to do the best with all your loved ones, even if you didn't expect them in the first place.
There aren't many opportunities in life to do this type of thing with everyone...and if there are, well, you're luckier than most!
Enjoy your trip what ever you decide!

 

[mello]

I would let them know what your plans are, and invite them to go ahead and call Disney to get ADRs at the same restaurants/events you're going to. Then you're willing to spend time with them, but you don't have to change your plans. They may or may not be able to/want to do everything you're doing anyway, but the choice is theirs, and they can do the work to book things, so that it doesn't complicate your plans. That seems a very fair way to handle it. We recently did this with some very good friends that we wanted to spend time with, who live in Orlando. But they understood we were on vacation. We simply emailed them our schedule, and they joined us for a few things, as they could. Most of the time they ate at counter service while we went to our ADR's, but they did join us for two of them. It worked out so nicely.

 

[nblake05]

God... you are living my worst fear! Seriously, my family and inlaws could suck the magic out of the magic kingdom! I would stick firm to your plans/reservations. Maybe let them know about some down time during your stay. Also, If you have cell phones, maybe just agree to keep in touch and "try to meet up." When I've gone to Disney with a large group of friends (different dynamic, I know), we start out the day togther on a ride we all want to go on and then we agree we drift apart and do our own thing. Ultimately, it is YOUR vacation, your time, your dollar, your memories... enjoy them!

 

[kmk1180]

UPDATE


AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH

so after all that yesterday I sent my wifes parents this....
basically offering to change our Boma ADR to invite the two of them.
and saying they could meet us at the parks either at AK or EPCOT
one of two days.
explaining it's too late to probably make ADR's for the whole group of about 12-15 people. (which we still don't know exactly how many that would be)

What was their response?
Well..since the cousins invited then it would be RUDE to not spend the time with them.
(remember they will be with them a whole week at a rental house)

Really?
It's rude to have 1 meal without them?
But it's fine to invite yourself onto OUR VACATION?????

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Oh well, at least it sounds like they won't effect our trip now.

 

[Dizneefamily+4]

UPDATE


AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH

so after all that yesterday I sent my wifes parents this....
basically offering to change our Boma ADR to invite the two of them.
and saying they could meet us at the parks either at AK or EPCOT
one of two days.
explaining it's too late to probably make ADR's for the whole group of about 12-15 people. (which we still don't know exactly how many that would be)

What was their response?
Well..since the cousins invited then it would be RUDE to not spend the time with them.
(remember they will be with them a whole week at a rental house)

Really?
It's rude to have 1 meal without them?
But it's fine to invite yourself onto OUR VACATION?????

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Oh well, at least it sounds like they won't effect our trip now.

Well, it sounds like you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't - so don't!! Seems as though it's going to work out that way anyway since your in-laws don't really "get it." So, yay for your vacation remaining YOUR vacation!!