I will formally throw my hat in the ring to act as any one of your proxies when your relatives bug you. I will fly down, stay with them, pretend to be related to them and eat with them as long as I get some park time. I'll even laugh at their jokes, pet their animals, and find their children adorable...all with streight face(well, other than during said laughing). This goes double for the winter months.
All I ask for as a fee is my expenses.