Family - I am going to scream!!!!!!

[BRobson]

Ok I am going to rant!!!!

I have one younger sister who is 32 and it is taking me all my time not to pick up the phone and shout ALOT!!!!!

A quick bit of backround - She left home to go to UNi which mum and dad funded. They bought a flat to stay in and when she left Uni and was unemployed she still stayed there rent free!!! She then got a job with NHS 24 and took on the flat. Over a couple of years got herself into debt - mum and dad bailed her out. Couple of boyfriend came and went then one moved in. They sold the flat (she kept the profit)bought a house!! They split up and she took on the house. Mum gave her more money. She got her hours cut and got some more money. My Granda died and she got some money from him - all gone. She got another 3k off my mum last month then phones her up to ask what she wants for Christmas!!!!

I have tried telling my mum she has to dish out some tough love - no go. My sister never visits or phones my mum. Never comes at Christmas and never sees my 2 kids (her only neice and nephew)

I have just come off the phone with mum who is all cheery because my sister was on the phone for an hour - I asked what she wanted and my mum told me she didnt like my tone!!!!!! What she was really doing was telling my mum what she wanted for Christmas and we would have to go to hers to drop of her Christmas pressies and she wont be able to visit before Christmas.ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH Why am I the baddie- I give up

rant over - Sorry about that

 

[scottishsue]

I hate to say this Jackie, but I agree with you !! Your Mum needs to toughen up with your sister. If she keeps giving "hand outs" your sister will always rely on her for them.

The trouble is that parents (especially Mums) are soft - I know I am !!

 

[mandymouse]

Sorry I can't offer any advice (families eh ?), but I just wanted to send you a hug Jackie

 

[aaronandterri]

we have the same with my brother, he does nothing for anyone,very selfish has been married 4 times by 30!!, but hes still the apple of mums eye, wont havea bad word said about him.
meanwhile we get stuck with them every christmas!
how does that work????

 

[natalielongstaff]

your sister won't learn to manage money until she is made to face up to her responsibilities.....i can see why your mum acts like she does but its not helping your sister at all

 

[Dimplenose]

I can understand why you are upset but really you should try not to worry about her.

I'm finding this very hard to put into words as I have felt this way about my brother in the past. After talking to my mum some years ago, I realise that everything she's done for him she would have done for me if I had asked - the difference is I would never have asked, my consience would never had allowed me.

Families just aren't fair - they're made up of people who are only human. You seem to be the only one of you who is upset so don't let her actions get to you, she probably wouldn't understand how you feel even if you explained it to her. Try to ignore what happens between her and your mum, they are both adults and both seem happy doing what they are, however unfair it seems to a third person. Your mum is probably being over positive about her because she's fully aware of her shortcomings anyway.

Just get on with having a happy time with your own kids. At 32 I don't think she'll change now and it sounds as though she probably doesn't want to anyway.

And any time you need to have a rant come to the DIS, there's always someone here to listen.

Libby

 

[Goofysmate]

Take deep breaths Jackie and try to have nice kind thoughts , failing that scream.
You can't pick family's like you can friends.
Sending you hugs to hopefully cheer you up

 

[tennisfan]

I have to say I agree with you Jackie, she will never learn unless she is made to stand on her own 2 feet.

Sending you a ro cheer you up a bit.

 

[Ware Bears]

for you Jackie

 

[CHEK]

Families Hey!!, I totally understand where your coming from, I've had similar experiences with my brother's!, But then Mother's and Son's!! I can't say a bad word or else I'm the one in the wrong