Family Drama: Freeloaders European Vacation!

[tomthebarncat]

At this point, I dont want to know what other would have done, evidently they would have lynched me! because I am such a rotten person!

 

[In a hurry]

Sorry, you treated the family horribly.

Was the BIL proven guilty? Did you find out their side of the story? Has your husband been dealing hatefully with them, or just you. It seems you've already decided you didn't like them, and went for the chance to not have to deal with them.

Nice that you have more sympathy and understanding for a dog than you do for family.

 

[Frankiesmom]

Gotta agree with the PP. These people are your family- married or otherwise. You left these people stranded; whatever you think about your BIl; this is your husband's sister and you should have been more gracious- heck, they live in another country- how often are you going to see them? Open up your home and be a bigger person!

 

[tomthebarncat]

 

[Frankiesmom]

Then go post about your drama somewhere else. You were asking for opinions- and I guess you just wanted everyone to agree w you! Still; you left family mambers stranded in a strange land- share your home and stop the whining. You don't know the full dog story. When people start caring more abut their fellow man this world will be a much better place!

 

[momof5boys]

I agree with the OP. Her BIL sounds unstable and if I were her I would be uncomfortable with a strange man in my home without DH present. It sounds like SIL has bad manners just assuming they could stay at their house without planning or asking first. And yep sometimes you have to care more about animals than "family", animals don't usually choose to be mean but people do.

 

[twooley2]

I can see both sides and having been in Germany too. First off every family has their issues. they arent your issues unless they shoot your dog or something comes of them offending you personally. I guess my point is if it does not affect you than anything could have been portrayed as being worse than it is. I dont think they were running to Germany to hide out at your house from the threat of 30 days of jail. No they arent entitled but they are allowed to try and visit no matter what personal feelings a married spouse has. Unfortunatley you do marry the family too. I would just have been the person to try and help them. Maybe they are under a lot of stress and need a vacation. On the other hand I would not want to stay where I am not welcome but our family has an understanding if family needs a place we will make room even if they are in trouble. If you cant depend on family who can you depend on.

 

[cerberus]

Wow, the American sense of entitlement is still very prevalent, it is all about me, me, me!!

While I do take a wee bit of offense to the statement above and think that maybe you need to take a deep breath. Your initial question is an easy one; ignore her, leave your phone off the hook or block her calls. If you are concerned with your safety and she shows up at the house do not let her in and call the police. Let your husband handle it, it is his family.
By you getting mad at her and screaming at her, you are just fueling the fire. Unfortunately these people are your husbands family, that makes things very hard. If they were told not to come and that they could not stay with you, I personally would not feel bad that they came anyway.

My FIL's sister and her husband, are VERY different. We had a heated argument once during a family dinner after they back-handed their child and no one in the room said anything but me....and we have never spoken to them since. Nor would I ever allow them in my house. That would also go if they had abused an animal, being the animal lover that I am.

With that said, I think you need to take the higher road and ignore them, not let them get under your skin and only let your husband deal with them, whether he is home or not, it is his family and his responsibility.

You came to a public forum and asked for an opinion, so you shouldn't really get mad at people for expressing what they believe, whether you agree or not. If you really thought everyone would agree with you, sadly that is not going to happen in the world we live in. Again it comes down to taking a deep breath, letting it go and moving on.

 

[bellebud]

to the OP... with the info you've given, I'm on your side. You don't owe them anything just because she's your dh's sister. And now her threatening to hurt you???? she's showing her true colors, which seem to match her dog shooting dh's. you did the right thing. If your dh thought you should all be close, wouldn't it have already happened? even by email, vidoes, etc? there are so many ways to stay in touch these days, it wouldn't have mattered that you've never met face to face. you would have already had some sort of relationship, and it seems you don't. maybe your dh has stayed away from them for some very good reasons.

good luck to you with this situation.

 

[wilderness01]

Wow, the American sense of entitlement is still very prevalent, it is all about me, me, me!! I can do with out all of that crap and nonsense and attitude!!

This statement is rude on so many levels and you are showing your own arrogance by typing that. By the by, it is not a pleasant attitude to display. Would you like me now to think that all Europeans are arrogant because that is the same sentiment you have conveyed about Americans. Shame on you.

For what it's worth, I agree with you and wouldn't open up my home for strangers who didn't ask. Wow, this empathy from a rude American. Go figure.

 

[bavaria]

For what it's worth, I agree with you and wouldn't open up my home for strangers who didn't ask. Wow and this empathy from a rude American. Go figure.

Er, I believe that from the OPs past posts she is American, not German. Please do not include me in this generalization.

Thank you.

 

[tomthebarncat]

no response needed

 

[cerberus]

Er, I believe that from the OPs past posts she is American, not German. Please do not include me in this generalization.

Thank you.

You are excused from the bashing

 

[bavaria]

Thank you

 

[wilderness01]

Er, I believe that from the OPs past posts she is American, not German. Please do not include me in this generalization.

Thank you.

I am not including you on any generalization and in fact went back and reworded my post.

If she is American then she is just plain rude.

 

[bavaria]

Fortunately rudeness is not exclusive to any one nationality - we all have our share of them

Back to your regularly scheduled discussion now!

 

[Frankiesmom]

1st get a grip! I am quite sure it isn't going to come down to anyone kicking anyone's @#$! Really! These people are STRANDED! Obviously! I understand the nervousness; but this is your DH's sister!!! Not some nut off the street corner. Pick them up and be gracious till they can make other arrangements.She is, I am sure, out of her mind stressed; not that that excuses her threats- idle I am sure. But these people are your extended family? IDK. But you were asking for opinions.

 

[tomthebarncat]

This whole thing took me by surprise as I did not know they were coming. She just sent me an email apologizing for her behaviour this afternoon. She also stated that she is thinking of a divorce and really wanted to talk to her brother about this. Well, DH is in Dubai and we are total strangers. I emailed her back that I posted this on a board that I love and respect and the overwhelming response was that I handled it poorly. She is at the airport Sheraton and I am going to give her a call in a few minutes. IF she is polite and civil I will go meet them tomorrow and see what happens from there. We may hit it off or it could be very uncomfortable. So, I have taken these responses to heart.

 

[Frankiesmom]

good job! Just be gracious and maybe this whole drama can be played out in everyone's best interests and you can salvage something of a familial relationship with these people.

 

[Narnia]

I as a person who doesn't own a gun I would be very wierded out that a relitive would just shoot a good dog for going on thier property. If he was a farmer and the dog kept killing live stock then maybe. O.k you have crazy family live with it( mine's nuts so is dh's) Don't allow them to stay at your house but do get to know them. you don't have to like family you just have to live with them. Act like the better person but DON'T let that guy in your house. Your house is just that yours. She is your DH's sister so you should try to help them out and find a cheap nice hotel for them to stay in.