Facebook for a 9 yr old?

[DisneyFan32WI]

I do NOT allow my daughters, 13 & 11, to join any social networking site. I try to limit their computer time so they have time to do other things that are active....especially in the summer. We wait 9 months out of the year to have a short 3 months of warmth & sun. There is no way they will be spending it indoors!!!

 

[HonnyDipp]

In my opinion, no 9 year old needs a "social network". They should be outside running, jumping, climbing trees, building forts, and getting dirty! Please encourage kids to do "kid stuff" while they are still kids - it goes by so fast!

I agree 100%

 

[dismom2]

I am one who said my 9 year old has one. I don't know what would make someone think that because she plays some games on Facebook that she doesn't do 10 million other things as well. I'd say she spends an average of 4 hours per week on the computer in total. She probably spends 10 hours reading, 20 hours writing and drawing, 4 hours at dance lessons, many hours in the pool, etc. Having a facebook does not at all equal not doing the stuff you named. In face, while *I* was DISing, my 9 year old was in the kitching making a pesto salad, a bean salad, and a cole slaw for a picnic we're going to tomorrow. So, yes, she does other things.

Do you want to also comment on my bolded sentence..... the one about teaching kids to lie about their age?

For the record, I didn't mean to imply that these kids are doing NOTHING ELSE all summer.

Just wanted to add, and this is a general warning for everyone: Facebook is not as 'private' and 'secure' as you think. Just look at all the complaints all over the internet, and in magazine's and newspaper articles. Even people on Facebook complain about it all the time. Just yesterday I was reading how someone's wife's picture from Facebook showed up in a dating ad. I know if you don't have pictures you don't have to worry about that, but a lot of people do, and they have no idea what happens to them. Facebook owns your pictures and everything you say, and the same goes for all of your 'friends' info and pictures on your page. Do some research, you will learn just how private Facebook really is.

 

[HelenePA]

The fact is, if nothing else, Facebook does have an age restriction. Let kids be kids a little longer.... there are other ways to keep in touch with people, and it's more personable, too.

If I do decide to get them facebook accounts they wont be there to socialize they'll be there for the games only! We've done most of the things you listed multiple times over the summer btw.. can I just say OMG I really hate rain! Stupid stupid rain!! They were out in the yard most of the day we were also at the farmers market/auction this morning.. now they are in because guess what? its raining and I dont mean a sunshower!

 

[kydisneyfans]

Our 10 year old has one, and we have no worries about it. Most of his friends have one, along with his teacher and sports coaches. The sad thing is that he has more friends than his 36 year old father. This is a great way to keep in touch with family long distances away and the classmates during the summer.

 

[Beavers5]

Facebook has not been an issue at my house yet. DS (10) only has screen time (video games, tv, pc, ds, etc) from Friday 5pm-Sunday 5pm and even then is usually playing outside instead.

DS will not be allowed on Facebook until he is at least 13, because I am strict when it comes to rules. Facebook is not my website, it is someone else's and for whatever reason they do not want children under 13 on their site. It is not up to me to try to get around that or encourage my son to try to do that. I feel that (and want to teach him that) if you are going to use someone else's services you should respect their rules, even if you do not agree with them.

Yeah, I'm also the mean mom that doesn't allow PG13 movies, T video games or anything else listed as too old for him. Sure some of the movies and games aren't bad and he would do fine with them; but it is much easier to have a clear cut off.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Facebook has not been an issue at my house yet. DS (10) only has screen time (video games, tv, pc, ds, etc) from Friday 5pm-Sunday 5pm and even then is usually playing outside instead.

DS will not be allowed on Facebook until he is at least 13, because I am strict when it comes to rules. Facebook is not my website, it is someone else's and for whatever reason they do not want children under 13 on their site. It is not up to me to try to get around that or encourage my son to try to do that. I feel that (and want to teach him that) if you are going to use someone else's services you should respect their rules, even if you do not agree with them.

Yeah, I'm also the mean mom that doesn't allow PG13 movies, T video games or anything else listed as too old for him. Sure some of the movies and games aren't bad and he would do fine with them; but it is much easier to have a clear cut off.

I think you have good rules..and are very strong for following them. If you are able to have it that clear cut, I think that's awesome. I'd have too many exceptions (movies for example), which would defeat the purpose of the lesson...

 

[Disney.Ears]

I'm 15 & got a Facebook the summer before my freshman year of HS.
Facebook was intended for college students, then went on to high school students.

I don't see why a 9 year old would want to be on there? It's mainly older people & there's the 13 age limit anyway

 

[MariDisney]

Do you want to also comment on my bolded sentence..... the one about teaching kids to lie about their age?

For the record, I didn't mean to imply that these kids are doing NOTHING ELSE all summer.

Just wanted to add, and this is a general warning for everyone: Facebook is not as 'private' and 'secure' as you think. Just look at all the complaints all over the internet, and in magazine's and newspaper articles. Even people on Facebook complain about it all the time. Just yesterday I was reading how someone's wife's picture from Facebook showed up in a dating ad. I know if you don't have pictures you don't have to worry about that, but a lot of people do, and they have no idea what happens to them. Facebook owns your pictures and everything you say, and the same goes for all of your 'friends' info and pictures on your page. Do some research, you will learn just how private Facebook really is.

Happy to. And then perhaps you would be willing to retract your statement about "not doing anything else" (not your words exactly, but your idea.

I told her that things about age are sometimes relative. She skipped a grade, so she's not "old enough" to be going into the grade she is, but it's happening anyway. Yes, I know it's not exactly the same thing. We talked about putting in a particular age and it being OK because we were doing it for a very particular and controlled reason. Is it lying? Yes, in the strictest sense of the word it is. But, I feel more than comfortable having her on there to play the games and chat with family members and 1 also 9 year old friend. Again, there are no pictures and it's a completely assumed name, so she knows it's not a "real" facebook but rather a way to play games and talk with about 8 people.

 

[C.Ann]

Try looking at it this way.. If you give her something at 9, that is normally reserved for 13, then when she's 13, you will have to give her something that is normally reserved for 17.. See where I'm going?

No need to rush her childhood along..

 

[LisaR]

Just a warning about family members on a young child's account. Remember that FB has a TON of young adults using the network. Some of these very same people may be your relatives. While they may be great people, many forget who exactly is reading their FB. DD found out some things about my nephew that she really didn't want to know. He really is a great guy but he is at a stage where he parties often and his pictures are........um.........interesting.

 

[MariDisney]

Just a warning about family members on a young child's account. Remember that FB has a TON of young adults using the network. Some of these very same people may be your relatives. While they may be great people, many forget who exactly is reading their FB. DD found out some things about my nephew that she really didn't want to know. He really is a great guy but he is at a stage where he parties often and his pictures are........um.........interesting.

I agree! That's why on my DD's she can't see anyone's status updates or bio info. I haven't blocked her looking at pictures yet, because all of her friends are over 40 and there's not been anything questionable. I think she's seen worse on Hannah Montanna.

 

[dismom2]

A lie is a lie is a lie, no matter how a person tries to 'justify' it.
I have a very mature, honor roll student at home, but she's not getting on Facebook just because she does well in school. I see no logic there. Dishonestly is one lesson I don't wish my child to learn.

You're right, I didn't say "not doing anything else". I was merely suggesting other things a 9 year old could do, besides play on Facebook. I never said the underage kids on FB don't do anything else, nor do I believe that.
There are a lot of sights on the internet (hundreds if not thousands) where a child can play games. They can also email relatives (or call, write, visit, etc...), or there can be a family webpage set up. I could go on and on. I don't see how someone can justify lying about a childs age just to let them do something that is meant for older people. Your choice, though. I choose not to, and I see about 90% of others agree, so far.

Happy to. And then perhaps you would be willing to retract your statement about "not doing anything else" (not your words exactly, but your idea.

I told her that things about age are sometimes relative. She skipped a grade, so she's not "old enough" to be going into the grade she is, but it's happening anyway. Yes, I know it's not exactly the same thing. We talked about putting in a particular age and it being OK because we were doing it for a very particular and controlled reason. Is it lying? Yes, in the strictest sense of the word it is. But, I feel more than comfortable having her on there to play the games and chat with family members and 1 also 9 year old friend. Again, there are no pictures and it's a completely assumed name, so she knows it's not a "real" facebook but rather a way to play games and talk with about 8 people.

 

[donaldduck352]

In my opinion, no 9 year old needs a "social network". They should be outside running, jumping, climbing trees, building forts, and getting dirty! Please encourage kids to do "kid stuff" while they are still kids - it goes by so fast!

 

[disneyfav4ever]

Just a warning about family members on a young child's account. Remember that FB has a TON of young adults using the network. Some of these very same people may be your relatives. While they may be great people, many forget who exactly is reading their FB. DD found out some things about my nephew that she really didn't want to know. He really is a great guy but he is at a stage where he parties often and his pictures are........um.........interesting.

My cousins and I are all friends with my aunt, and by word of mouth from my aunt to my grandmother. My profile is pretty clean, so I have nothing to worry about, but I know my two cousins have gotten plenty of lectures from my grandmother about stuff she heard about. Nothing illegal since they are over 21, but still not stuff you want your grandma to hear about.

 

[IDoDis]

It's not okay to let your child know they can lie (with your help) because you think you have a valid reason for lying. This sets the child up for thinking it's okay to lie in the future because she has a good reason for telling the lie. We lead by what we do, not what we say. If we want our kids to grow up being honest, then we have to teach them to be honest by following that rule ourselves.

For those who let their young children have a fb page, why not just let your child play fb games under your log-in if that's all they are doing for a couple hours a week. No need to set up a fake name and lie their way through the system.

 

[ginna74]

no I don't think it is ok, there is an age limit there for a reason. my son's friend made a myspce page and lied about the age and his parents were ok and son came home and was wanting me to do the same. I am still a definite NO. Rules are rules and I wont be teaching him to lie on purpose. And to be honest I don't thinik he is ready yet for all of that stuff yet. There is time yet. He is a good kid though.



I wasn't so knowledgable with my daughter though..... she was welll my learning expierience

 

[barkley]

dd will be 15 in a week, ds is 12 1/2. both have asked permission to do facebook on and off for the past couple of years. with both we've said 'absolutly not'.

our reasoning is that there is far too much misinformation and intentional deceptions on the part of facebook users. both kids have whined that we are just too paranoid, and too quick to judge that people are not being honest-then they will point to "all" their classmates and friends who have been on facebook for several years and how honest and non deceptive they are, how they would "never" mislead anyone on the site. at that point i ask how old these people were when they signed up/are now. when they respond and it becomes clear that all are either under 13 now or they were when they signed up (and either they or mom/dad intentionaly put in a fictitious birth year to by-pass the rules/security) i then launch into a conversation about how "honest" and "non deceptive" their friends are if they are/have been activly misleading the facebook administration and other users to believe that they are older than they are.

in my mind it's a bad mixed message to tell a child "be careful, be cautious, it can be dangerous to enter into social networking with someone is may be intentionaly misrepresenting who/what age they are" when as a parent you are activly allowing them to do the exact same thing.

i just wonder how comfortable someone would be if their 9 year old who they permitted to alter their age 4 years up to appear 13 on facebook is on it for a few years at which time anyone tracking it will presume they are now 16 to be engaging in social networking with some creep who is in their 20's or older and has altered their age to appear to be younger

 

[krcit]

My dd has a facebook-she is in high school. I check it occasionally and let me tell you some of the stuff that these kids write will curl your hair It is scary-the language, the pictures. My younger dd will not get a page until she is in high school.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Thanks everyone for all the advice..

I've decided to hold out for awhile.. there is plenty of other things she can do, she's not going to lose out on any friends or family member discussions just because she doesn't have a fb page...

IMO, there is no wrong or right for each family, just wanted opinions and advice.
Thanks!