Ex's befriending YOUR friends.

[MrsSparrow..]

I never make rant threads and this is my first. So scroll down and just answer the question if you like

Heres my situation..

So my ex and one of my BEST FRIENDS start talking on myspace, and three days later (today): he goes round her house.

I know I shouldn't call my best friend a slut, but I'm sorry, she is. The stuff she tells me (which I wont write down here because it is a family site) and the people she introduces me to, honestly, I love her to bits but she isn't exactly 'hard to get'.

He has PUBLICLY said he wants to try and push her to see how 'easy she is' and I thought this was a joke and just said "oh don't" but yeah. They've known each other for three days. THREE. And only online. I introduced them once when me and him were going out and thats it.

FTR, I broke up with him because he was more of a friend. My friends Ben and Annie just say I'm jealous and still have feelings for him. I don't think I like him in that way though, I'm more annoyed that this all happened and she didn't tell me she was inviting him to her house after 3 days of talking. She even asked me for his number "for a chat" when I find out today it was so she could direct him to her house.

Sorry for that huge rant and I apoligise if a similar thread has been created. I am just so annoyed at myself atm.

What are your thoughts on friends dating or befriending your exes? Has this ever happened to you? Sisters before Mistas or do you think everyone should just get over it..

 

[Tinkerbell424]

I'm sorry.
To be perfectly honest, I would be upset too. He's your ex and she's your best friend, there's a boundary there and if she really liked him, I think she should have said something to you.

I don't care if my friends be-friend my ex, I do get annoyed if they start flirting though. Last year I really liked this guy and he talked to my best friend to get info on me, and I remember talking to her about him and she was like "Ew, he's so gross" and everything..they both flirted with each other behind me back and ended up dating. They broke up a month later because he kinda liked me, I dated him for 9 days. My best friend didn't mind, but I did. I ended it with him because I didn't feel comfortable, plus some other things. I ended up losing a friendships over the whole ordeal...I definitely learned mates before dates.

So...I think you do have a right to be mad, but just know it's totally not worth it.

 

[imabrat]

I'm sorry Ash, that stinks.

Awkward. That's all I say.
How long have you been broken up?

 

[JulielovesDisney]

I don't think it's right when your best friend starts dating your ex. I'm all about loyalty, and I know I would never do that because it's kind of a slap in the face to my friend.

 

[Disney.Ears]

Awee I'm sorry! That sucks. It's a shame your friend makes herself seem easy...

"Ex boyfriends are just off limits to friends; that's just like the rules of feminism!" -Mean Girls.

 

[nickkevingirl93]

Wow~ that's harsh. I mean, what's up with your friend even wanting to be around ur ex? Huh, I don't get it, but I guess I don't have to!
Sending hugs your way!

 

[Cali_Sparrow]

That is pretty disrespectful of your friend and your ex. Maybe you should ask your friend straight up if she has feelings for your ex, after all, isn't there some unwritten best friends code that strictly states that friends don't date friend's exes?

If she continues to treat you badly and doesn't tell you the complete truth so you can work it out, maybe it's time to move her out of your life. She should respect you more.

 

[wdwllamadancer]

Awee I'm sorry! That sucks. It's a shame your friend makes herself seem easy...

"Ex boyfriends are just off limits to friends; that's just like the rules of feminism!" -Mean Girls.

ITA and mean girls is totally my fave movie ever.

 

[softball chick]

I'm so sorry about your friend.

My best friend hung out with my ex for many years.
It was never more than a friendship between them, but at first it was weird.
Eventually, I got used to it and I was fine with it. (It probably helped that I totally hated my ex!)

 

[VolleyballQt07]

Awww I'm sorry.

I won't lie, if my best friend dated my ex, I'd be ticked. Like Alyssa quoted, "Ex boyfriends are just off limits to friends; that's just like the rules of feminism!" -Mean Girls. I totally agree with this 100%.

 

[life of the party]

Been there D:
Somehow gotten through that

It's really tough .
She was my BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST friend.
my other half, partner in crime ..
she got me a bad rep too but i didnt care because she was my BFF
things just kept getting worse.. drugs.. drinking .. :/


Best thing i ever did for myself was end the friendship.
I'm not telling YOU to do that, but if you think its gonna go down like it happened in my sittuation.. it might be better sooner than later when you'll be really upset :/

 

[MrsSparrow..]

Thanks everyone for your hugs and advice, I want to reply to everyones message but I can't but I'll try my best . I slept on it last night and I woke up in a way better mood. Sure they can be friends, but I think I'm gonna talk to both of them about it because clearly I'm not 100% okay about them being "friends" *nudge nudge* but I'll just talk it out.

So...I think you do have a right to be mad, but just know it's totally not worth it.

Your right, it's so not worth the drama anymore..

I'm sorry Ash, that stinks.

Awkward. That's all I say.
How long have you been broken up?

About a month and a bit I think, so I s'pose quite a while. But I don't get boyfriends often (make that EVER), so to me that is quite recent. But yeah it sucks

That is pretty disrespectful of your friend and your ex. Maybe you should ask your friend straight up if she has feelings for your ex, after all, isn't there some unwritten best friends code that strictly states that friends don't date friend's exes?

If she continues to treat you badly and doesn't tell you the complete truth so you can work it out, maybe it's time to move her out of your life. She should respect you more.

Been there D:
Somehow gotten through that

It's really tough .
She was my BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST friend.
my other half, partner in crime ..
she got me a bad rep too but i didnt care because she was my BFF
things just kept getting worse.. drugs.. drinking .. :/


Best thing i ever did for myself was end the friendship.
I'm not telling YOU to do that, but if you think its gonna go down like it happened in my sittuation.. it might be better sooner than later when you'll be really upset :/

Hmm, I'm considering to maybe not trust her as much but on the otherhand just try and talk it out. But my friend is a bit similar to yours lifeoftheparty (sorry, I don't know your name ) she's started doing things I wouldn't dream of, getting drunk all the time and experimenting with some heavy drugs, and all I can do is offer her a shoulder to cry on when she needs it, but she doesn't listen to me when I tell her that shes throwing away her life..

Thanks again everyone, sorry if I didn't quote you, but I really appreciate all the replies

 

[Cali_Sparrow]

she's started doing things I wouldn't dream of, getting drunk all the time and experimenting with some heavy drugs, and all I can do is offer her a shoulder to cry on when she needs it, but she doesn't listen to me when I tell her that shes throwing away her life.

OMG I have a similar situation with a friend.
Sometimes just distancing yourself a little and working on your own life is important once they get to the stage where they aren't taking your advice anymore. Unless you want to turn her in for professional help and risk losing all contact if she gets angry, there's not much you can do for her.

 

[I'm a Divaaaaa]

I'm in a similar situation. When I was dating this guy I introduced him to one of my best friends. He hated her at the time. Then when we broke up he started calling her all the time....just to "talk" because she "understood" him, which was a line he used on me.

I'm actually quite pissed off at her too because she knows how much of a jerk this guy was to me and how he betrayed me. It's really stupid but I just chose to get over it. She is desperate for friends and he wants to make me jealous. It isn't happening, believe me, so sucks for him.

 

[imabrat]

Only a month?!
I'm sorry but I would be calling her a w**** too. That's completely disrespectful of both your "friend" and your ex. Like, you'd think she would ask how you felt about it first.
Sounds like this person is just your "friend" for who you hang out with, not for your personality. I'd be dumping her before she could say hey!