Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[BreTyPres87]

I have no ideas for how to help your daughter understand or deal with that but WHO THE HECK DOES THAT TEACHER THINK SHE IS?! She read that autistic children don't steal?like that was in some book somewhere...seriously? Nobody with autism has ever stolen before in history?? I think you need to sit down with the school and DEMAND it be put in her BIP because its clearly a problem and the teacher does not only sound like she doesn't understand she sounds like she a total jerk about it, where's her understanding? You asked for them to have her supervised and they didn't follow that so how dare they then blame you for it! They need to do their work, I don't like confrontation but believe me I would be at that school asap to speak with them about their lack of care and compassion for your child and the needs you specified. utterly ridiculous that makes me so upset for you :/

 

[kampfirekim]

Man! If you don't check on this thread every hour you'll get wayyyy behind!

Was not sure where to share this but did not want to start a new thread. I was reading a disability section of all ears there was a statement about AS kids loving wave pools at waterparks b/c the deep pressure stimulation it provides. What a neat observation, I never thought about it being a sensory related! I have to drag DS9 out of the wavepool at our local waterpark all the time and we literally tag team my friends kid to get him out of the lazy river where he will spend hours walking against the current. Does anyone else notice this with their kids?

Thanks for sharing! Glad you didn't start a new thread. We discuss absolutely anything and everything here. What a great group! I rarely even look at other disability threads anymore. I just let it all hang out here!
Your post makes perfect sense to me. My DS loves any and all things swimming related!

Question for Schmolland mommies: How do you reprimand or punish your children? And how do you know whether or not the behavior is intentional and requires a time out? I am having a hard time with this with my son because he does stuff and I can't tell if its intentional and needs to be corrected and even how to do it.

Good grief, Charlie Brown! When you figure that one out let me in on the secret! That is probably THE most difficult thing about parenting a spectrum child. What does he understand? Is it bad behavior or disorder related? Can he help it or is is compulsions he can't help? I still try to discipline regardless of the reason for the behavior. It's the only chance he has of learning. I use warning then a time out (sometimes he cooperates, sometimes it's a nightmare). One of the most effective tools for us is taking away his little toys and toy parts that he has to hold at all times. It's amazing how quickly that little guy will comply to get 'em back.

I remember the moment I realized everything was harder for me. I was at a friend's house who has all typical kids. I just got into survival mode and now I'm too exhausted to do anything about it. I never envisioned my family not having chores and helping out. Exhaustion from this problem is what made me start this thread! People with typical kids will say "just make your kids help out more!" They just don't get it! That's easier said than done! And because my ASD kid's disabilities are hidden (they are mild) my other children don't see them as different. How do you expect some kids to have a certain standard but not the other ones? It's so hard!

I think we have all gone into survival mode and one point or another. Sometimes I don't have enough brain power left to form a coherent sentence! BTW, I've been meaning to say THANK YOU for starting this thread! Also to rattlenhum for sharing Holland Schmolland with us. Seems like this thread took on a life of its own! My DS' disability is apparent and often people STILL don't get it. I try not to let it get to me....but then there are just those times......you know what I'm sayin'!

My DD16 (nt) was extremely sensitive to food texture as a child. I learned early on NOT to force food that caused a gag reflex. Nothing DD could do about it, and I was the one doing the cleanup! My (childless) sister disapproved of our choice to let DD eat what she enjoyed and not force her to eat everything. She even said, "If she were my kid, she'd just sit there until she ate it, or else! Just make her eat it!" HAH! You can't force anyone to do anything, nt, asd, whatever. It's beyond me how many people just don't get that.

My DS is still food texture sensitive. I wish I could count the number of calls from the school telling me he's thrown up and then I have to give my "He's not sick, it's his gag relex" speech. In fact he threw up a granola bar in the car on the way to school this week and DS6 gagged for his entire remaining time in the car. Speaking of a busybody giving advice on something they have no experience or knowledge of ......I don't know what will make me flame faster. Although I try to be patient with the ignorance of others, this is one area I have absolutely zero, zilch, nada, none, no tolerance! I may have to wear my flameproof suit just thinking about it! It's bad enough when someone who has only neurotypical kids has something ignorant and inconsiderate to say....but honestly, someone with NO kids. Please! Rant is complete.

. I emailed the teacher to summarize the conversation, got a very terse reply, responded; and then forwarded everything to our advocate. I just hate that it gets so confrontational; I can't help but think if they would just help us help her we'd both get a lot farther with a lot less frustration.

Way to go! .....and Amen!

I have no ideas for how to help your daughter understand or deal with that but WHO THE HECK DOES THAT TEACHER THINK SHE IS?! She read that autistic children don't steal?like that was in some book somewhere...seriously? Nobody with autism has ever stolen before in history?? I think you need to sit down with the school and DEMAND it be put in her BIP because its clearly a problem and the teacher does not only sound like she doesn't understand she sounds like she a total jerk about it, where's her understanding? You asked for them to have her supervised and they didn't follow that so how dare they then blame you for it! They need to do their work, I don't like confrontation but believe me I would be at that school asap to speak with them about their lack of care and compassion for your child and the needs you specified. utterly ridiculous that makes me so upset for you :/

One important point is the complusive/impulsive behavior of even an otherwise typical child can lend itself to lying and stealing. Compound that with a spectrum disorder and LOOK OUT! Sounds like that teacher needed to be called to the carpet. If it'd been me that might've been literal!

 

[iwrbnd]

Ireland_Nicole, I'm sorry your having such a hard time with your school understanding what to do! They seem to be throwing this on you and expecting you to fix it! My DS's psychiatrist said problems at school should be dealt with at school because kids on the spectrum have a hard time transfering their learning to different situations. He even wrote it to our school like a prescription! My high school DS wasn't handing homework in on time (story of our life since kindergarten) and consequences at home never worked. I loved handing that part of my parenting job over to the school! If he didn't turn it in he stayed after until it was done. That helped way more than anything I could do at home! One thing his doctor said that made a lot of sense to me is these kiddos have a hard time learning from past mistakes. That made me feel so much better because I was constantly questioning my parenting or getting mad at my son because we would be dealing with the same problems over and over again! One year he forgot his Spanish book 3 nights in a row to get late work done! On the 3rd night my DH and I were so frustrated and I remember my son screaming "Why do you keep getting on me about this?" I thought "What? Do you think this is fun for us?" And when did it become our fault? Just an example of how exasperating it can be even when they are mildly affected! Most kids (like my other son who is NT) would think "Darn, I forgot my book again. Tomorrow I'll remember!" So, even though you tell her not to steal and she gets a consequence it may not sink in. That's the frustrating part about ASD kids. They make us look like inconsistant bad parents!

Anyway, a long story to say the school needs to fiqure out what to do about the stealing going on at school! You can help but can't do it on your own. Good luck and I'm sorry!

Kampfirekim, how do you hilight and quote just certain parts of texts? And I nominate you town mayor! You always have such great advice and are so encouraging! I wish I could spend a whole day with you!!!!

I'm at work and typing really fast so I hope this makes sense!!!

 

[iwrbnd]

My DD16 (nt) was extremely sensitive to food texture as a child. I learned early on NOT to force food that caused a gag reflex. Nothing DD could do about it, and I was the one doing the cleanup! My (childless) sister disapproved of our choice to let DD eat what she enjoyed and not force her to eat everything. She even said, "If she were my kid, she'd just sit there until she ate it, or else! Just make her eat it!" HAH! You can't force anyone to do anything, nt, asd, whatever. It's beyond me how many people just don't get that.

I've so been there with the food issues and people saying "I would make my child eat it" or "A hungry kid will eventually eat it." My son's therapist said making my son eat certain foods is like making us eat worms. I always remembered that!

 

[elan]

Was not sure where to share this but did not want to start a new thread. I was reading the disability section of all ears and there was a statement about AS kids loving wave pools at waterparks b/c the deep pressure stimulation it provides. What a neat observation, I never thought about it being sensory related! I have to drag DS9 out of the wavepool at our local waterpark all the time and we literally tag team my friends kid to get him out of the lazy river where he will spend hours walking against the current. Does anyone else notice this with their kids?

I hadn't thought of this for the water parks. My dd swims. Before she was diagnosed we always made sure to get her to the pool for swim practice. We knew it helped "calm" her but didn't know why. Even now when she is upset often a shower will help her.

 

[elan]

oops

 

[elan]

Question for Schmolland mommies: How do you reprimand or punish your children? And how do you know whether or not the behavior is intentional and requires a time out? I am having a hard time with this with my son because he does stuff and I can't tell if its intentional and needs to be corrected and even how to do it.[/QUOTE]


I'm a mommy still trying to figure this out too.

 

[mommatomase]

Question for Schmolland mommies: How do you reprimand or punish your children? And how do you know whether or not the behavior is intentional and requires a time out? I am having a hard time with this with my son because he does stuff and I can't tell if its intentional and needs to be corrected and even how to do it.

I'm a mommy still trying to figure this out too.[/QUOTE]

DISCLAIMER: I have only one child so some of this is MUCH easier for me and I don't know the difference not having a non-stimmy kiddo...

LAUGH: I used to give parenting classes before I was a parent! I had all the answers and don't tell me I didn't... then Mase arrived and ONE week later I wanted to call ALL the parents I had spoken to in the past ten years and apologize... yes, one week... the one thing I do stand by and always will is reading to a child is soooo important.. even if they are asleep or sitting on the toilet... ok.... you can stop laughing now...

As far as what calls for discipline and what is to be ignored. This is my philosophy... "Will it matter in five years?" Will it matter in five years that Mase rolled in the mud with good clothing on? No, I can wash them. Will it matter in five years that Mase yells at his parents? Absolutely. Now granted, some days this approach is very difficult to live by, but I truly try to stick with it.

Also, rudeness is NOT tolerated no matter what. Your rude, you lose screens (DS, computer, TV, etc)for the rest of the day... do it again and you lose it tomorrow... we have never lost screens for more than two days. Screens are BIG for Mase... I dislike TV very much so I could care less and Dh just hides in his computer desk to do what he needs to do.

Chores??? Isn't brushing your teeth, getting dressed and eating breakfast enough of a chore? Mase must bring in the garbage cans from the curb on a Wednesday. Mase just (and I mean just) starting taking showers un-aided. He can even dry himself off with a towel now. That ladies is a chore that he does all by himself now... one more off the Momma list.

As for what other people say... it hurts and yes you feel aweful...

I know you all have lots of time for reading... but, Temple Grandin's book, "Thinking in Pictures" really has given Dh and me insite much more than any other book written about autism and aspergers... written by an aspie... what a novel idea.

Hugs to all of you today!

 

[iwrbnd]

Oh, mommatomase, I LOVED the book "Thinking in Pictures"!!! Have you read her other book "Animals in Translation"? It was a fascinating read, too!

I also like the "Will this matter in 5 years" thing! I use that with stressful events but never a discipline dilema! I'm going to start using it!

 

[kampfirekim]

Kampfirekim, how do you hilight and quote just certain parts of texts? And I nominate you town mayor! You always have such great advice and are so encouraging! I wish I could spend a whole day with you!!!!

I'm at work and typing really fast so I hope this makes sense!!!

You're too sweet! You just come on over and we'll hang out. The kids can jump on the trampoline and we can sit under a shade tree and have coffee.

To quote only part of a post, I just click the quote button and delete the text I don't want to quote. To highlight, you can use the tools at the top of the reply window. Make sure you don't delete the word QUOTE or the brackets, then it just posts weird.

BTW, what happened to your meaning in your sig? You really can't go through life with no meaning!

I've so been there with the food issues and people saying "I would make my child eat it" or "A hungry kid will eventually eat it." My son's therapist said making my son eat certain foods is like making us eat worms. I always remembered that!

What a great analogy! I don't force our DS to eat anything. The result is soooo not worth it! Our former children's pastor said that constantly telling a child to be still and be quiet is like someone forcing us to stand when we REALLY want to sit.

I'm a mommy still trying to figure this out too.

DISCLAIMER: I have only one child so some of this is MUCH easier for me and I don't know the difference not having a non-stimmy kiddo...

LAUGH: I used to give parenting classes before I was a parent! I had all the answers and don't tell me I didn't... then Mase arrived and ONE week later I wanted to call ALL the parents I had spoken to in the past ten years and apologize... yes, one week... the one thing I do stand by and always will is reading to a child is soooo important.. even if they are asleep or sitting on the toilet... ok.... you can stop laughing now...

As far as what calls for discipline and what is to be ignored. This is my philosophy... "Will it matter in five years?" Will it matter in five years that Mase rolled in the mud with good clothing on? No, I can wash them. Will it matter in five years that Mase yells at his parents? Absolutely. Now granted, some days this approach is very difficult to live by, but I truly try to stick with it.

Also, rudeness is NOT tolerated no matter what. Your rude, you lose screens (DS, computer, TV, etc)for the rest of the day... do it again and you lose it tomorrow... we have never lost screens for more than two days. Screens are BIG for Mase... I dislike TV very much so I could care less and Dh just hides in his computer desk to do what he needs to do.

Chores??? Isn't brushing your teeth, getting dressed and eating breakfast enough of a chore? Mase must bring in the garbage cans from the curb on a Wednesday. Mase just (and I mean just) starting taking showers un-aided. He can even dry himself off with a towel now. That ladies is a chore that he does all by himself now... one more off the Momma list.

As for what other people say... it hurts and yes you feel aweful...

I know you all have lots of time for reading... but, Temple Grandin's book, "Thinking in Pictures" really has given Dh and me insite much more than any other book written about autism and aspergers... written by an aspie... what a novel idea.

Hugs to all of you today!

This post nearly had me in stitches! It only took one week huh?

I totally agree w/ your take on discipline. My quote is usually, "Does it really matter in the great scheme of life if he _____________. " If not lighten up a little, life's tough enough for these little Schmollandites. Definitely discipline rude, destructive behaviors etc. I take the approach that it doesn't matter if its disorder or just bad behavior, he still has to learn to behave properly.

We are on the same page w/chores. When DS purposely pours or throws things in the floor etc. He is made to clean it up. He has learned pretty well finally and will comply after he knows I mean business. Think I'll check out Temple Grandin's book. Sounds interesting. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[iwrbnd]

Don't be surprised kampfirekim if you look out and see me sitting under your shade tree and waiting for some coffee!

I'll try the hi-lighted quote thing again. My son tried to show me how to do it and it sounds like your advise but mine always comes out weird! Typical for me!

I know about my signature problem! I change my signature more than my toilet paper!I don't know why but I get bored with it. Some days I think it's too simple and other days I think it's "too much"! Is there a diagnosis for why I do that because it's not like I don't have anything else to do in my life!!!!

 

[mommatomase]

This post nearly had me in stitches! It only took one week huh?

I totally agree w/ your take on discipline. My quote is usually, "Does it really matter in the great scheme of life if he _____________. " If not lighten up a little, life's tough enough for these little Schmollandites. Definitely discipline rude, destructive behaviors etc. I take the approach that it doesn't matter if its disorder or just bad behavior, he still has to learn to behave properly.

We are on the same page w/chores. When DS purposely pours or throws things in the floor etc. He is made to clean it up. He has learned pretty well finally and will comply after he knows I mean business. Think I'll check out Temple Grandin's book. Sounds interesting. Thanks for the suggestion.

Truly... one week... I was EXHAUSTED!!!

Hey, I'm coming to sit under your shade tree too... but I want some good 'ol southern sweet tea... you southerners make it so well... we yankees just don't have the knack... (saw your message)

And as was also posted, "Animals in Translation" and "The Way I See It" are two of her other books. I have not read either one... but they are on my list. I will meet this woman some day!!!

 

[iwrbnd]

Truly... one week... I was EXHAUSTED!!!

Hey, I'm coming to sit under your shade tree too... but I want some good 'ol southern sweet tea... you southerners make it so well... we yankees just don't have the knack... (saw your message)

And as was also posted, "Animals in Translation" and "The Way I See It" are two of her other books. I have not read either one... but they are on my list. I will meet this woman some day!!!

She spoke at the college in our town this year and I'm kicking myself for not going!

 

[mommatomase]

She spoke at the college in our town this year and I'm kicking myself for not going!

OH WOW!!!! I have been checking her website and nothing is close to me... that is up until July... none scheduled after that...

 

[ireland_nicole]

Thanks for the support, y'all. I also recommend the movie HBO recently did on Temple Grandin; they did a fantastic job and it's been really helpful for dealing with my dad, who doesn't understand why we let DD "get away" with so much...

The first time he watched it, he was like, well that's not Caitie, so she must not really be autistic... then he watched it a couple more times, and watched Caitie, and started to draw some parallels. It's not perfect, but at least now he sees that we're not just crazy

The other day he was like, hmmm, have you noticed that bouncing on that little trampoline is Caitie's thing? like it calms her or something to bounce for hours? um, yeah dad. that's why it's in our living room, and there's another one upstairs, and we've gone through a few but it really was sweet to see him trying; and remembering what he saw and applying that.

 

[DisneyBishops]

I have always loved being a parent and have given my all to my family. I've known for years that I have to work harder because 2 of my kids are on the autism spectrum. However, for the past year I'm just so tired. I constantly think "I can't wait until I don't have to do______anymore" (insert cooking, cleaning, homework help, whatever). I feel so bad because I don't want to wish these years away.

My oldest is 17 and a good kid but he has mild aspergers, ADHD and severe executive functioning skills! He's never had assigned chores because just getting him through daily life is exhausting enough! (Shower, deoderant, teeth and dressed is enough to about drive me to drink!) He doesn't show appreciation and gets irritated quickly. The teen years have about done me in.

My 2nd son is easy in every way. He helps me so much that I feel bad for him. He's taken on the "I'm mom's rescuer" role which isn't probably healthy for him.

My 3rd son has mild autism but his challenges haven't been too hard yet. I panic about going through the teen years with another ASD kid, though.

My daughter is sweet but quite the drama queen. I just don't have the energy for her anymore. I feel so bad.

I have a wonderful husband that is supportive and loving and everything I could ask for. He's a physician that works long hours so the majority of daily life falls on my shoulders. He's a huge help when he's home, though. I work part-time, financially it's necessary.

Has anyone else just gotten so tired of parenting that they dream about when their children are grown and gone? Or am I just awful to even think that? I still am doing everything I need to for my family it's just that my heart isn't in it anymore.

If you've gone through this season of parenting how did you handle it? How long did it last? Do parents with "typical" children go through this? Maybe it's because I've been doing this for so many years and have many more to go! Whose bright idea was it to space our kids out so far? Mine! And we didn't know our kids were on the spectrum until we had 4 already. They really are mild but affected enough to make life hard!

Does anybody have any insight for me? Am I alone in this? Thanks and sorry this is so long!

When i saw this thread all I could say is Oh my god why would anyone be tired of parenting. I lost my 18 yo son 8 wks ago and I would love to still be parenting him. Please please never get tired of parenting your children. They can be gone in the wink of an eye and then what would you think.
Please be thankful you still have them. You can't imagine what it is like to lose a child and I hope you never have to.

Sorry to rant but I just couldn't believe any parent would feel this way.

 

[Daisy&Max]

You know, I read a study where they found mothers of mild ASD were more depressed than the extrememly affected. The results were confusing but they decided it was because moms of mildly affected kids have to make them fit in and perform in everyday life unlike children who are severe. They are living in 2 worlds, the ASD world and the normal world. Moms of more severe children are only in the autim world. Nobody expects them to perform like the other children. Even though this study says this I'm still extrememly grateful that my boys are on the mild side! My sister's son is extrememly autistic and I see how hard it is. She doesn't, however, have to help him fit in with his peers, get his homework done, teach him to drive, deal with frustrated teachers who don't see the disability, etc.

I was only planning to read this thread and not post since it is already 19 pages long. But I only got as far as this paragraph.

First let me introduce myself...I'm a single mom of two great boys. DS10 who was dxed with Asperger's at age 6 (after a year of me trying to get people to realize I wasn't a bad mother with a bratty kid) and who also happens to be ADHD on two medications for it. My youngest DS is 6 and was dxed last year as an Aspie, not as severely as his brother, and who also has ADHD. I also support my disabled mother who helps to take care of my kids while I'm at work.

But the part of the paragraph that got me was the part about parents being more depressed over their mildly affected kids. Every day I struggle with trying to teach my guys to be "normal"...to "act like the other kids". I finally went to my dr the other day and was put on an antidepressant because I fell like my kids deserve someone who can handle them better. I would love to see the whole study on this.

Its funny how you think you are the only one going through something like this because you don't tell people when you get frustrated with your life because no one wants to open up about it. I'm afraid people will think I'm a horrible mother for wishing for the day when I can sleep in or take a shower without having to worry about what is happening with the boys.

Thank you for allowing me to read your thread!

Daisy

 

[kampfirekim]

Don't be surprised kampfirekim if you look out and see me sitting under your shade tree and waiting for some coffee!

Truly... one week... I was EXHAUSTED!!!

Hey, I'm coming to sit under your shade tree too... but I want some good 'ol southern sweet tea... you southerners make it so well... we yankees just don't have the knack... (saw your message)

And as was also posted, "Animals in Translation" and "The Way I See It" are two of her other books. I have not read either one... but they are on my list. I will meet this woman some day!!!

All right you two...come on, I'm waiting under the shade tree. I make great coffee AND "good 'ol southern sweet tea". Funny, but even though we're southern THAT'S what we call our tea too!

Thanks for the support, y'all. I also recommend the movie HBO recently did on Temple Grandin; they did a fantastic job and it's been really helpful for dealing with my dad, who doesn't understand why we let DD "get away" with so much...

The first time he watched it, he was like, well that's not Caitie, so she must not really be autistic... then he watched it a couple more times, and watched Caitie, and started to draw some parallels. It's not perfect, but at least now he sees that we're not just crazy

The other day he was like, hmmm, have you noticed that bouncing on that little trampoline is Caitie's thing? like it calms her or something to bounce for hours? um, yeah dad. that's why it's in our living room, and there's another one upstairs, and we've gone through a few but it really was sweet to see him trying; and remembering what he saw and applying that.

On behalf of all of us, you're welcome! Glad you joined us. This is a funny post. I think dads have a harder time accepting things as moms. At least when it comes to this sort of thing. Thanks for the movie recommendation. I'd almost forgotten about the movie. I need to check it out and the books as well.

When i saw this thread all I could say is Oh my god why would anyone be tired of parenting. I lost my 18 yo son 8 wks ago and I would love to still be parenting him. Please please never get tired of parenting your children. They can be gone in the wink of an eye and then what would you think.
Please be thankful you still have them. You can't imagine what it is like to lose a child and I hope you never have to.

Sorry to rant but I just couldn't believe any parent would feel this way.

Hi Disney Bishops. I am so sorry for your loss. I read your thread on the Camping boards and it just broke my heart. I think OP was just needing to vent a little, she's not really tired of being a parent....just exhausted and stressed parenting a child on the Autism Spectrum. Most of us go through those times. However this thread has taken on quite a humorous and encouraging turn. Everyone needs a little support and encouragement and that's what this thread is now all about. I hope you are doing well and again I am so sorry about your son.

I was only planning to read this thread and not post since it is already 19 pages long. But I only got as far as this paragraph.

First let me introduce myself...I'm a single mom of two great boys. DS10 who was dxed with Asperger's at age 6 (after a year of me trying to get people to realize I wasn't a bad mother with a bratty kid) and who also happens to be ADHD on two medications for it. My youngest DS is 6 and was dxed last year as an Aspie, not as severely as his brother, and who also has ADHD. I also support my disabled mother who helps to take care of my kids while I'm at work.

But the part of the paragraph that got me was the part about parents being more depressed over their mildly affected kids. Every day I struggle with trying to teach my guys to be "normal"...to "act like the other kids". I finally went to my dr the other day and was put on an antidepressant because I fell like my kids deserve someone who can handle them better. I would love to see the whole study on this.

Its funny how you think you are the only one going through something like this because you don't tell people when you get frustrated with your life because no one wants to open up about it. I'm afraid people will think I'm a horrible mother for wishing for the day when I can sleep in or take a shower without having to worry about what is happening with the boys.

Thank you for allowing me to read your thread!

Daisy

First of all...WELCOME! Post away...doesn't matter how long the thread gets. If there is some sort of limit, we can always start a part 2 thread. All of us here seem to have very similar thoughts, feeling, problems etc. Feel free to open up here and let it all hang out! We love to be funny, we love to help, encourage, offer advice or just listen (or rather..read). You're not a horrible morther for wanting to shower. Believe me....I'd love a quiet worry free shower too!

 

[kirstenb1]

Disney Bishops, I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[iwrbnd]

When i saw this thread all I could say is Oh my god why would anyone be tired of parenting. I lost my 18 yo son 8 wks ago and I would love to still be parenting him. Please please never get tired of parenting your children. They can be gone in the wink of an eye and then what would you think.
Please be thankful you still have them. You can't imagine what it is like to lose a child and I hope you never have to.

Sorry to rant but I just couldn't believe any parent would feel this way.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I agree with you I shouldn't ever get tired of parenting! Believe me, I have tremendous guilt when I get those feelings. I thank God everyday for my children but sometimes my greatest blessings are my greatest source of stress, too. I don't know what I would do if something actually happened to them. I love them more than I can imagine. I'm so sorry you lost your son! I remember reading your thread and praying for you on many nights after reading your post. The parents on this thread have been amazing with their love, support and an occasional very needed kick in the head! I was expressing feelings I had that are hard to admit even to myself much less to others but I really needed support!