Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[Piper]

We found out last week that things are much worse than we feared with my step-son. His older Cousin (mid-20s) has been abusing him since his dad moved out.

We found this out when we took the kids out to eat and I got a steak knife out of the silverwear rack and he jumped up from the table panic stricken saying "please don't throw that at me, I promise I will be good." He was not misbehaving at all, but he is autistic. His dad was fixing his plate, so I cuddled him and asked him who was throwing knives at him and he told us his cousin throws knives at him for running in the house. I assured him we would never throw a knife at our house, we only use them for food and tools and calmed him down.

When we got him home, he told us the cousin punches him in his stomach and groin, hits him in the back and head, and pokes him in the eyes. This is a terrified little boy of his cousin and would most likely explain the drastic change in behavior in both houses.

Please let someone know this is happening. If the cousin is doing this to him, who knows what he is doing to other children. I once had a 7 year old SN student confide in me that her 19 year old step brother was sexually abusing her. I reported it to the authorities and personally talked to the mother and father about it as well (it was the father's son.) We discovered the guy was also abusing the 4 year old sister and 3 cousins! Although the father was heartbroken, he and the rest of the family were very glad to discover what was happening. They actually filed charges on the son.

 

[bookwormde]

PLS5286

What the cousin is doing is criminal, and needs to be treated as such. I know you probely want to give it one chance within the family, but if it is minized or in any way is not dealt with or is repeated then the protection of the child comes before anything else.

 

[pls5286]

We are not taking this lightly. The Dept of Family and Children Services have been involved and we are filing for Emergency custody. I think we have now figured out why we have the Dr Jeckyll and Mr Hyde personality between houses now. He wets the bed at moms and melts down often. He shares a room with the cousin there.

His teachers have commented on the drastic change in his behavior since we have had him. DF wanted to go immediately and beat the stew out of his nephew but did not.

His counselor is also working with him more closely to work through all this. The look of fear in this baby's face the other night was something I will never forget.

 

[bookwormde]

I am glad you are addressing the situation, the good news is that while it will take time to help your child through this, I am always amazed at how resiliant our kids are. I think that it has somethig to do that they do not generalize things like NTs do.

bookwormde

 

[toodycat]

Hey, what's up Schmolland? Just checking in. DS is getting ready for state exams, so it is crazy around here. Hope everyone else is well.

 

[lovethattink]

toodycat, hope he does well and all goes well!

We are doing great! Had a couple of days that were bad sensory-wise after he had a seizure. But he is back to his usual self! We enjoyed some fun at Star Wars Weekend, where he was totally in his element!

We booked resort and tickets for the Star Wars Celebration VI in Orlando for 2012! Making his area of hyperfocus a family fun thing!

 

[toodycat]

lovethattink---Thanks for the kind wishes. DS seems much more confident about his exams this year which is a good thing. We can't wait for all these tests to be over.

Starwars Celebration, what fun! DS and DH are big fans, too.
I think DS and DH would love Star Wars weekends. Unfortunately, they are scheduled during final exams and state assessments in NY. As both student and teacher, we can't get away. Maybe next year when DS is a senior.

We have a wedding today. The groom is in a rock band, so I imagine this will be loud. I'm off to Walgreens to pick up more earplugs for DS.
Have a wonderful week!

 

[bookwormde]

Just checking in,
School is over and we are 3 weeks from 15 days at WDW (with our first visits to Universal).
Just wondering about what everyone is doing with reading for our kids. Our boys like books about quirky kids. I do not have the full list but they have gone through about 20 this year (actually DW reads to them most of the time) They just finished the "lawn mower boy" books and are now working their way through the modernized Greek mythology series by Rick Riordan. We are on the third in the series of 6. " the titans curse"
I was struck listening to it (yes I find if fun also) of the "parallels" between our kids "world" and the special kids in these books (of course the book kids are in much more real world danger). Just wondering if anyone else has read these and had the same feeling or if it is just me.
bookwormde

 

[toodycat]

We read the Rick Riordan books a few years ago and DS loved them. I think there is a connection. Certainly, he can relate to feeling different as Percy does. Now that DS is 17, his reading is mainly anime and rock star memoirs. I don't mind the memoirs because at 17, he ought to be aware of sexdrugsandrocknroll, but I'd rather have him learn those things vicariously through Ozzy Osbourne to start than through the kinds of things I see teen-agers get involved in at school. It also helps a little with the whole seeing things in black/white i.e. DS loves Kurt Cobain, but Kurt abuses drugs. He had a tough time reconciling that, but chose to approach it without judgement and with compassion:"Kurt had a very tough childhood."

 

[Kat77]

Bookworm- Yes!!! My oldest DS14 was a huge fan of the Percy Jackson series. He definately related to Percy and his other world. Riordan wrote the series with his son Haley in mind who struggles with ADHD and dyslexia.
We just attended an event at the Dallas Museum of Art where Riordan was a guest speaker. DS14 skipped it to attend A-Con but I still had books signed for him.

Artemis Fowl is another great series. If you have not read it, I think you will really enjoy it.

I love to read books right along with my kids. You learn so much about their thinking process and how they relate to the world. DS11 is not as serious as his big brother. He adores the Wimpy Kid and Big Nate series. When he was little, he wanted me to make up fun stories involving him sneaking into an all girls school and the like, while DS14 wanted to hear adventures that had serious moral undertones. When J and I read the Narnia series, I was required to change the names of the kids to his name and his siblings. Peter was J, Edmund was A, Susun was O and Lucy was M.

TC- have you read Look Me In The Eye by John Elder Robison? He has Aspbergers and designed the infamous exploding guitars and special effects for Kiss back in the day. It's my favorite book by an adult on the spectrum.

 

[encinc]

Just wondering about what everyone is doing with reading for our kids. ... They just finished the "lawn mower boy" books and are now working their way through the modernized Greek mythology series by Rick Riordan.

Thanks for raising this question. I was just about to log on to the library website to request some books for my quirky 8 year old, but wasn't sure what to request.

I'm not familiar with the "lawn mower boy" books. Can anyone give me more info?

We've been reading the Series of Unfortunate Events books by Lemony Snickets. I'm surprised by how well DS relates to the kids in the books. The books are rather dark, but DS doesn't seem to mind (which is surprising given that he becomes anxious when movies are even the slightest bit scary).

We've gone through the Big Nate and Captain Underpants series and they were both hits. DS isn't particularly interested in the Percy Jackson books.

Does anyone have any suggestions of other series we might look for?

 

[bookwormde]

Lawn mower by is about a child that starts a lawn mowing business and it balloons in to a business "empire" and all the transformations and in the end that he just wants to be a "kid"

My DS did not want to read Percy Jackson either, but his younger brother did, but once he hard the first couple of chapters he was enthralled.

One of his cousins gave him Darwin the origin of species yesterday so I guess it will be back to "tech manuals" although DW is reading the newest Dinotopia book to him also.
bookwormde

 

[ppony]

May I interrupt for a moment??
Again, I apologize for not having time to read and comment on this thread much. I hope one of these days, I will have more time.

I was wondering if anyone here has had their kids use the Proloquo2go program for iPads and iPods? My son (3 1/2) will be doing preschool (ECSE) next year where I'm told they'll be using it quite a bit to help the non-verbal children like my him. It's similar in it's idea to the PECS system but digital/electronic. And I don't know about other people's kids but I'm betting their kids like anything electronic too over the little cards. He didn't care to play on the iPod but loved the apps on the Pad. Might mean he needs glasses with liking the larger screen. I dunno. How do they test non-verbal and non-communicating kids for their vision???

Any help from the vets in Schmolland would be greatly appreciated by this overwhelmed mom.

 

[Piper]

When my daughter was a year old, I had her vision tested by a pediatric ophthalmologist. I had to use atropine in her eyes for 3 days straight and he was able to fit her for glasses with no problems. That was 42 years ago. I know medicine has progressed by leaps and bounds, so I'm sure they would be able to check him. Find a good doctor that specialized in pediatric opthalmology.

 

[toodycat]

TC- have you read Look Me In The Eye by John Elder Robison? He has Aspbergers and designed the infamous exploding guitars and special effects for Kiss back in the day. It's my favorite book by an adult on the spectrum.
__________________ I did read it and I thought it was brilliant. I tend to steer away from any writing about autism that seems sentimental. I loved Robison's very direct narrative. For DS's summer reading, I am picking up copies of the Steven Tyler and Sammy Hagar memoirs. I think DS will like that. He's studying recording studio technology this summer. I am on pins and needles waiting for the results of his state exams. I think he did a good job, but you never know until you see the report card or get a phone call. No matter what, I am very proud of how hard he works.

 

[JacknDawn4ever]

May I interrupt for a moment??
Again, I apologize for not having time to read and comment on this thread much. I hope one of these days, I will have more time.

I was wondering if anyone here has had their kids use the Proloquo2go program for iPads and iPods? My son (3 1/2) will be doing preschool (ECSE) next year where I'm told they'll be using it quite a bit to help the non-verbal children like my him. It's similar in it's idea to the PECS system but digital/electronic. And I don't know about other people's kids but I'm betting their kids like anything electronic too over the little cards. He didn't care to play on the iPod but loved the apps on the Pad. Might mean he needs glasses with liking the larger screen. I dunno. How do they test non-verbal and non-communicating kids for their vision???

Any help from the vets in Schmolland would be greatly appreciated by this overwhelmed mom.

My DS (7) who has limited communication skills had his vision tested last year by a pediatric eye doctor. No medicine was prescribed prior to visit. The doctor performed a routine eye exam and even dialated my DS's eyes. Doctor found no issues with DS, thankfully.

 

[toodycat]

Hi, all. Happy 4th of July weekend! DS passed all of his state exams and is in line for an advanced regents diploma. I am so relieved. He was supposed to take the ACT as well, but the person administering the individual test with his accommodations (no time limit and a reader) did not receive a reader's script, so his ACT has been postponed until September. This should give me plenty of time to review with him. It's a test in which strategy helps a lot and DS is good with strategies.

I just got back from a girls' spa vacation in Puerto Rico with three of my best friends. It was the first time I've travelled without DS and DH in over 20 years. I am so grateful and proud that DS can be left on his own these days while DH is at work. When my son was first diagnosed, I didn't know if taking a trip by myself would ever be possible. I'm so delighted that it was.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

 

[ppony]

Just wanted to share a HUGE accomplishment by my 3 and a half year old, non-verbal ASD young man, he TALKED! He actually spoke 6 words yesterday! out of the blue! Some of them actually while in speech therapy and his first EVER 3 word phrase "Here ya go" while handing my older DS his sippy!!! The excitement that he may actually become VERBAL is overwheliming! Naturally, I, his mommy, wasn't around to hear any of them... (always the wrong place at the wrong time), but I will be, one day. THANKS for having a place to let me share!

 

[bookwormde]

PPONY,

What a great day, I am sure it is in great measure because of your hard wark to get him services (plus lots of love and acceptance).

so many of our kids do things when they are ready and comfortable (and see a reason) not in anyone elses timetable

congratulations

bookwormde

 

[lovethattink]

Hi, all. Happy 4th of July weekend! DS passed all of his state exams and is in line for an advanced regents diploma. I am so relieved. He was supposed to take the ACT as well, but the person administering the individual test with his accommodations (no time limit and a reader) did not receive a reader's script, so his ACT has been postponed until September. This should give me plenty of time to review with him. It's a test in which strategy helps a lot and DS is good with strategies.

I just got back from a girls' spa vacation in Puerto Rico with three of my best friends. It was the first time I've travelled without DS and DH in over 20 years. I am so grateful and proud that DS can be left on his own these days while DH is at work. When my son was first diagnosed, I didn't know if taking a trip by myself would ever be possible. I'm so delighted that it was.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

Congrats on his state exams!! My ds isn't a good test taker. He will be taking the ACT again in Sept. Surprisingly, he did great on the essay. We did not ask for a time extension.

Just wanted to share a HUGE accomplishment by my 3 and a half year old, non-verbal ASD young man, he TALKED! He actually spoke 6 words yesterday! out of the blue! Some of them actually while in speech therapy and his first EVER 3 word phrase "Here ya go" while handing my older DS his sippy!!! The excitement that he may actually become VERBAL is overwheliming! Naturally, I, his mommy, wasn't around to hear any of them... (always the wrong place at the wrong time), but I will be, one day. THANKS for having a place to let me share!

Congratulations!! That's so awesome!!

My DS (7) who has limited communication skills had his vision tested last year by a pediatric eye doctor. No medicine was prescribed prior to visit. The doctor performed a routine eye exam and even dialated my DS's eyes. Doctor found no issues with DS, thankfully.

I need to take my youngest ds for an eye visit. I know when I went the last time, they had me look into a machine and it knew what strength of lenses I would need!! It was dead on!