Evil inlaws/work situation-any advice?

[Goofball]

OK, deep breath. Today, on the first workday for teachers at school (I'm one of them), I checked the class list for my 6th grade class and found the name of DH's younger sister on it. For reasons far too lengthy to fully explain here, the contact that DH and I have with his parents is very, very minimal. To make it brief, we endured years of their emotional and verbal abuse which, compounded with the physical abuse his other sister endured by their hands (neither he nor I witnessed this happening, but she told us about it), made it clear we could not continue a relationship with them. So, for almost 5 of the 6 years we have been married, we have essentially cut all ties with these people. A sad consequence of this has been that we've seen extremely little of DH's sister, the one on my class list. DH sees her 2 or 3 times a year; I see her even less frequently than that.

Hmm, this is getting long. Anyway, DH has told me that his sister has had numerous developmentally based learning problems and was barely getting by in the special resources classes in the public school she has been attending. Now she is entering a private school with absolutely no resources for special needs kids. Unfortunately, the school has not put into place a system for identifying incoming students with special needs that would really be better served in a public school. Her parents' willingness to put her into what is almost certain to be a frustrating environment causes me to worry that part of their motivation is to somehow get closer to me, thereby closer to DH.
Also, since I know the kind of trouble-makers that these people tend to be, I am concerned about any number of ramifications that could arise from this situation.

Basically, my question is this: Should I go to my boss, the principal, and vaguely outline what I have just said here? I fully intend to be completely professional, no matter how uncomfortable things may become, but I am tied up in knots thinking about how these people might try to take advantage of these circumstances. I have a very friendly rapport with my boss and feel that, if necessary, I could go to him with my concerns. Or would it be better for me to just wait and see? Nothing "ugly" may come of any of this, so jumping the gun may not be the best thing.

If you got this far, I really thank you. The sight of these people makes my blood run cold, and I feel like I need some input from objective people!! Thanks!

 

[RUDisney]

Does the school have any rules about you not teaching family members? As a SIL, she is family. Can you get out of teaching her on that technicality? My DS was supposed to have one teacher this year, but since her DD is in his class, she is teaching 5th grade and the 5th grade teacher is taking her 2nd grade class so their is no question of fairness and propriety.

 

[SuiteDisney]

Absolutely tell your boss everything.

 

[soojay]

If you are on good terms with your Boss, I would point out you have no objection to teaching the child, but .............You feel it would be better for the child if they were taught by somebody impartial.
THat way you are not making problems, just diffusing a potentially difficult situ.

 

[bsnyder]

I think you definitely need to talk to your boss. Run....don't walk!

This is a potential conflict of interest for you to have a family member in your classroom (whether you, as the teacher, object to it or not) and can only result putting you in a no-win situation.

I don't see that you need to outline any of the family drama....just the fact that you are the child's sister in law is reason enough that you shouldn't be her teacher.

 

[Goofball]

Oh guys, thank you so much for responding. Another one of the "oddities" of this school is that there seem to be no rules against family teaching family. There were two cases last year of mothers teaching their own children, in fact. But, like my sister said, isn't it coincidental how the inlaws picked THIS year to start the poor child at this school, when they know that I teach 6th grade? She also mentioned the possibility of them calling me up at home to talk "about school." Ugh.

 

[bsnyder]

Hopefully, there's another 6th grade teacher?

 

[Goofball]

Bet, bless your heart. (Another) unfortunately, the 6th grade is divided into 3 sections with different subject teachers. I teach the Wordly Wise (spelling/vocabulary) to all three sections, so I'm it.

 

[bsnyder]

ACK! Well, you might still talk to the principal, and voice your concerns, so that you're on the record.

DD's school uses Wordly Wise, also....same teacher for both sections once you get to 6th grade level.

 

[powellrj]

I would tell my boss a little about the situation and see if something could be done to change her class and also to cover yourself if anything were to be said as not to put your boss on the spot, that said, maybe you are the person this poor child needs. If she has grown-up in this situation, you maybe this childs saving grace. I would not want to teach her because of the situation, but maybe you could be in the shadows to make sure everything is ok in her life. Just a thought.

 

[Goofball]

Oh yes, Raejean, I had definitely thought of that angle as well. I will be glad to be able to spend more time with her and, like you said, be able to keep an eye out. DH's other sister spends a lot of time with them, so I know things are okay for the youngest child. Again, thank you all so much for your input. You make me feel better!

 

[Mishetta]

Soojay took the words right out of my mouth!

Good luck with this scenario!

 

[zurgswife]

Definately speak to your boss....

 

[Gette88]

I would definitely tell my boss if I was you. If they choose to keep her in your class and your in-laws start problems at least your boss was warned and you'll have covered your own behind.
Good luck

 

[BrerMom]

Yes, make sure everybody knows up front what's going on. I agree, it could be a great thing for the little girl. If she struggles as much as you suspect, it could make for a challenging year.

I understand completely. I love my godchildren dearly, but I do NOT want either of them as students because of their mom.