Ever feel like your world is just falling apart???

[Ember]

Here's my coping strategy:

First, never get caught in the thinking that you aren't allowed to feel sad because someone, somewhere has it worse than you. This isn't helpful and only adds guilt over feelings that aren't wrong. Yes, there are people out there going through far worse than you. And it can be helpful to remember that. But it doesn't invalidate your feelings.

Second, in my mind if everyone I love is okay then it's simply a bad day. No matter how hard the situation is so long as your loved ones are okay then it can be dealt with.

Lastly, and this one is new for me, when I find myself spinning out of control emotionally I repeat to myself that, "Right now, today, things are okay." This is new because with the diagnosis of terminal cancer for my mum, number two doesn't work anymore... So I try to go moment by moment. One day there will be a time when it's not okay. Not at all. So I'm trying to find the moments now when it is.

I hope things get better for you and your family.

 

[HOGFAN]

When God closes a door........

Maybe it is meant for you and your dad to develop a closer relationship.

 

[newholidayx2]

Is there a Church near you (or your fathers) that offers a Divorce Care class? its a session of about 12 weeks that help us get back on our feet, live our lives again
theres one starting near me in a few wks and Im thinking of starting, going when im not working - I was divorced in Oct, just finalized. Son is with his dad 1200 miles away

 

[manning]

Thank you all for the kind words and helpful support. I finally broke down yesterday and called my dad, I literally spent all day in my office at work crying, so when I called him I was still upset. He came over and loaned me his truck, he is going down to 1 vehicle between he and his GF so that's why I didn't want to ask him, but he offered it so I took that.

We also talked and he just came right out and said basically, things have been pretty crappy lately for you and it's not gonna get any better if you just sit back and continue to struggle, it's just making it harder for you and the girls. He told me that he and his GF want me and the girls to move into their home, they have 2 spare bedrooms that they use for storage and she uses for crafting stuff. He said he's gonna clean them out and store stuff in the attic and she will take over part of the living room for crafting if I will just swallow my pride and take the offer.

If I do that then I will be able to save up to get back on my feet, but I have been on my own since I was 17 so it's a hard thing to decide. My rent is paid until Feb 1st so I have a couple of weeks to weigh the options. My dad and I don't have a close relationship but he has 1 with my girls so I know they would love living there.

You found out something....dad DOES love you.

 

[SamRoc]

That's how I feel lately, can things get any worse? When are they going to start getting better?

If you can spare a moment or 2, please say a prayer for me and my 2 children. Thank you

So sorry your having a rough time. I have had these feeling too but luckily today turned everything around! When you least expect it something really good will happen and make you smile. It will happen!

 

[mamamary]

Sending you some

 

[mrsmom]

sending prayers and to you and your girls.

 

[TinkPinkPoem]

It's going to get better! I will be thinking of you and your daughters.


Hang in there.

 

[DisTeach1]

Why do I find it pathetic when someone is going through a really bad time, and someone says "eat chocolate". Like, really, when has that ever helped anyone and when does gaining 5 lbs ever make anyone feel better? Posters like that should keep their typing to themselves.

OP...I think what others said about really, really drawing on your faith, writing thngs down, taking things one day (or one hour) at a time really helps. I have found that when I go through a hard time, I make lists...And to get through the day, I cross off the list, one by one, just so I have a feeling of accomplishment, etc. at the end of the day.

I'm sorry you're going through a hard time.

 

[JESW]

Yes, 2005 was a horrible year for a lot of different reasons and I didn't think I would get through it. I had no choice tho as my kids needed me so I would just get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other and just go on. There were days tho that after the kids were off to school I would just go back to bed and pull the covers up over my head and stay there for hours. I felt so alone and there was no-one I could really talk to.

Fast forward to today and I can't believe how things have changed. My son (now 15) is doing so well and my dh has changed/grown up for the better - our marriage is stronger than it has ever been and I love him with all my heart and soul. My dd10 has grown up to be such a great kid and she was the one who held me together when all was going wrong with my two boys.

I am sorry that you are going through a hard time and I know that when it is happening you think that things can never get better. I hope and pray that things will turn around for you also and that you will look back on this time as just a bump in the road.

Take care of yourself!

Jill

 

[mickeylove2]

I still haven't decided what I'm gonna do about my dad's offer, I did bring it up to my girls though and basically I said what do you guys think about staying at poppops until the summer? They got really excited and said that as long as I was with them, they would stay anywhere but that staying with poppop would be awesome. I made sure to tell them that it wasn't definite but it was a possibility. They know his rules and are really good at his house, his GF really likes having them around because her grandkids aren't around very often, so I think it may work out if we go there.

A lot of really good advice was given here and I'm feeling a lot better, many people are mentioning faith and church. A little background, I was very involved in church and had a wonderful relationship with God, when I was going through my problems before, my faith never waivered. My ex cheated on me and moved in with his gf and I still stayed strong in my faith, took the girls to church 3 times a week, choir, praise team, volunteering, sunday school teaching, you name it and we were involved.

Then, people got in the way, gossip was going around- how can I be involved in these minstries when I couldn't keep my husband faithful? He did this, not me, no one saw this coming, it came out of nowhere. He even says that he screwed up and made a mistake, wishes he could take it all back, doesn't know what he was thinking, blah blah, blah. Why didn't I fight harder for my marriage? Trust me, I would have fought- he moved out while I was at work! How could I let my children down this way? Um, I didn't go anywhere, he did. That still didn't bother me, until about 3 months after my ex and I separated the pastor says to me, jokingly I guess, what, did you lose your husband or something? That was it I was done.

I have recently started taking my girls back to church, I don't stay but they love it so I take them. I guess my feelings were just so hurt that I wasn't comforted and instead I was the talk of the congregation and apparently the pastor. I did pray last night, the first time in a while, and I talked to God and really thought about all the good things in my life. It felt good to kind of let it all out. My next step is writing it all down in a journal.

Sorry this got really long lol!

 

[clovergirl5]

I still haven't decided what I'm gonna do about my dad's offer, I did bring it up to my girls though and basically I said what do you guys think about staying at poppops until the summer? They got really excited and said that as long as I was with them, they would stay anywhere but that staying with poppop would be awesome. I made sure to tell them that it wasn't definite but it was a possibility. They know his rules and are really good at his house, his GF really likes having them around because her grandkids aren't around very often, so I think it may work out if we go there.

A lot of really good advice was given here and I'm feeling a lot better, many people are mentioning faith and church. A little background, I was very involved in church and had a wonderful relationship with God, when I was going through my problems before, my faith never waivered. My ex cheated on me and moved in with his gf and I still stayed strong in my faith, took the girls to church 3 times a week, choir, praise team, volunteering, sunday school teaching, you name it and we were involved.

Then, people got in the way, gossip was going around- how can I be involved in these minstries when I couldn't keep my husband faithful? He did this, not me, no one saw this coming, it came out of nowhere. He even says that he screwed up and made a mistake, wishes he could take it all back, doesn't know what he was thinking, blah blah, blah. Why didn't I fight harder for my marriage? Trust me, I would have fought- he moved out while I was at work! How could I let my children down this way? Um, I didn't go anywhere, he did. That still didn't bother me, until about 3 months after my ex and I separated the pastor says to me, jokingly I guess, what, did you lose your husband or something? That was it I was done.

I have recently started taking my girls back to church, I don't stay but they love it so I take them. I guess my feelings were just so hurt that I wasn't comforted and instead I was the talk of the congregation and apparently the pastor. I did pray last night, the first time in a while, and I talked to God and really thought about all the good things in my life. It felt good to kind of let it all out. My next step is writing it all down in a journal.
Sorry this got really long lol!

It sounds like you are starting on a good track. Is there a different church you could join? Im so sorry you were treated that way from a church no less. Stay strong and focused.