Jenny,
I just read your signature and was looking through some of your posts. I am amazed at your courage in the face of great opposition.
As a former teacher with ADHD, I can tell you the following from my experience. I hope it is not too late to be helpful.
First, the diagnosis of ADHD is largely subjective. If you answer "yes" to whatever number of questions they determine to be indicators, then you "have" ADHD.
The main issue is medication. For me, Ritalin subconsciously helped me remember little things like where I put my keys. It helped me establish a pattern so I always put them in the proper place. Aside from that, it was not needed. Yes, I still forget what I had for breakfast. No, I can't sit still for more than 5 minutes or carry on an extended meaningful conversation much of the time, but who cares? I would not put my children on meds or recommend it to anyone else unless there were mitigating factors that put the child's health in danger.
I have seen students taking Adderol and turn into zombies. Why? So they are less bothersome? Behavior modification needs to be the first, second, third, fourth, and fifth things to try.
Another overlooked fact is that ADHD and giftedness frequently go hand in hand. Much of the problems seen in class may stem from a teaching style that is not suited to your child. While a gifted child with motivational issues way pose a problem for a teacher, stifling that child will have long term consequences.
For example, I was kicked out of school 3 times before dropping out and taking the GED after my junior year. I then went to college when I should have been a senior. After 3 semesters and 3 changes of majors, I dropped out. A year later, I decided I wanted to be a teacher. I went back and graduated. Once teaching, I could not stay in a classroom for more than 20 minutes without bouncing off the walls. Luckily, I was a special ed teacher with students spread throughout 3 classrooms. So every 15 minutes I would leave one room, walk around the entire school, and then back into another room. This is when I started taking Ritalin. I lasted 2 1/2 years before I started a summer camp. Now, my job is very ADHD friendly.
Looking back, I think that I would have benefited from guidance, not drugs. Kids need an outlet for energy and creativity. Public schools are not typically capable of offering that. With so many students, it is a "one size fits all" approach that is used.
I now see ADHD as an asset that can be used productively. Your challenge will be to find a teacher or administrator that thinks the same way.