Etiqutte ? for those with hypenated last names (or spouse with)

[Patabel]

What is the proper way to address an envelope when a married couple has the wife with a hyphenated name?

If John Doe is married to Mary Smith-Doe, is it Mr. & Mrs. John Doe or do you list the names separately?

We have a wedding coming up in the family and there has been discussions on this.

Thanks for your input!

 

[dianeschlicht]

Hi Pat!
Some folks both use the hyphenated name, so it is hard to say. I guess I would use John Doe & Jane Smith-Doe. I have several students whose parents both use the hyphenated name, so both they and their children would be "Smith -Doe". Gets pretty confusing!

 

[RitaZ.]

I agree with Diane, that's a correct way of addressing the envelopes for hyphenated names. Most of the invitations that I receive are addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Z., I'm not insulted at all. Most people don't know that I have a hyphenated last name, so it's totally fine. As long as my name is correct in legal documents, that's really what matters.

 

[Kermit]

It also depends on if they use the hyphenated name socially or not. I know some people who just use the hyphenated name legally and at work, and then they just use their husband's name socially. In that case, provided it's a social occasion, Mr. and Mrs. John Doe would be fine.

 

[Patabel]

Thanks for the great information! You're right, Diane, it does get pretty confusing.

Generally, we can figure out immediate family and friends and their preferences....it's those extended family members/social obligations/etc. that cause concern. We truly want to do the proper thing and not offend anyone.

Thanks, again!

 

[browneyes]

I'd list the names separate.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would do one of two things:

Mrs. Mary Smith-Doe
Mr. John Doe

or

John and Mary Smith-Doe

although the second one kind of mkaes it look like both names are Smith-Doe. I guess I'd go with the first one, to separate them out.

 

[debster812]

I just sent out invitations to my mom's surprise retirement party. One of her dearest friends is hyphenated.

I addressed the invites to

Mr Jon Smith & Ms. Lulu Jones-Smith

I bet you could find the official word from EMily Post or someone

 

[shortbun]

Mine isn't hyphenated, it's just different.
I prefer people address things to us using
separate lines for each name. I don't care
who's is first. I definitely don't want to be
"Mrs" anything. I detest titles; fine for other
folks, just not for me. If a title is mandatory
in the eyes of the addressor, for me, use
HRH. Her Royal Highness.
Seriously- Susan Jones-Smith
John Smith

or for symmetry: John Smith
Susan Jones-Smith

Women that keep their original names
or hyphenate don't ordinarily use titles.
IMHO