Embarresssed by cousin's activity

[agnes!]

My brother's son-in college-has become a big time Body Builder & posts pictures of himself on Facebook

My kids only see him a few times a year-but see his Facebook pictures , but think the huge muscles and the deep deep tan is just bizarre.

At our family Christmas events , he comes in a short sleeve shirt so he can flex his muscles and show off. I find it sort of strange.

So every time my kids say something about him and roll their eyes, I try to be diplomatic

Good. Think of Thumper's mama... "If you can't say anything nice, don't say nuthin' at all". (But of course kids roll their eyes at people that are different, they do it to their parents all the time, don't they.)

Btw, how old are your children? Have they gotten numerous tattoos, been in trouble with the law, joined a religion other than your own, decided to get heavily into Amway, flunked out of school, moved in with their loser boyfriend/girlfriend, become an addict, joined a commune, become a corporate drone, stolen from family?

Just saw his latest picture on facebook

All he has on is the tiniest bikini-and he is all shaven clean with a dark, dark "fakish" tan.

Sorry-I find it repulsive-especially displaying your body constantly on the Internet.

I find it weird that you are monitoring his body on Facebook, so you can comment on him.

So he is a body builder. Yes it is not a sport for everyone. ...

Exactly

OP they have a button on facebook to ignore a person. You can keep them as a friend but not get the updates too. ...

I must confess, I am and was so stunned by tenor of the OP's original post & follow-up, I'm almost speechless, I'll just stick to adding "ditto" to the above comments,

And that I'm sure your nephew loves everything about you too .

agnes!

 

[LoraJ]

Is this the same "inconsiderate" nephew who is *gasp* having a selfish Friday night wedding?

 

[HighClass]

Nope-not the wedding person

Everytime I meet with the Bodybuilder's father (my brother) we hear a list of excuses why he is in college for now 7 years, why this semester he only takes ONE class, yada-yada.

His total focus is bodybuilding-I guess that is what bothers me.

I don't "monitor" his Facebook-just happened upon this pic today and it "skeeved" me out. blech

 

[Kimberly]

Nope-not the wedding person

Everytime I meet with the Bodybuilder's father (my brother) we hear a list of excuses why he is in college for now 7 years, why this semester he only takes ONE class, yada-yada.

His total focus is bodybuilding-I guess that is what bothers me.

I don't "monitor" his Facebook-just happened upon this pic today and it "skeeved" me out. blech

7 years?! Wow, that would bother me more than the bodybuilding thing. I think he needs to get his priorities straight. Unless he's making money off bodybuilding and using it to pay for college...

This is just for a Bachelors, right?

 

[Evil Genius]

I see you are now going to tell us more "evil" things about him so that we hate him too. Who cares if he's in college for the rest of his life? No one is asking you to pay for it. As for the bodybuilding, that's what he likes. He doesn't roll his eyes and make fun of you and your children does he?

BTW nice way to teach your children tolerance of differences.

 

[clgwli]

7 years?! Wow, that would bother me more than the bodybuilding thing. I think he needs to get his priorities straight. Unless he's making money off bodybuilding and using it to pay for college...

This is just for a Bachelors, right?

Ooops, I quoted the wrong post. I don't know how to fix it. So Kimberly this was not directed towards you.

I had a friend who took 8 years to get through college. He worked and did other things while going to college. It was only for his bachelor's. It worked for him.

I really suggest nicely that you shouldn't be so judgmental of him. And I think if his look bothers you so much that maybe you shouldn't be on facebook looking at him so much.

Just think what it would do to him if he saw this thread

 

[Robinrs]

Just saw his latest picture on facebook

All he has on is the tiniest bikini-and he is all shaven clean with a dark, dark "fakish" tan.

Sorry-I find it repulsive-especially displaying your body constantly on the Internet.

Body building is a sport, the body and it's parts are part of the sport.

It is not a beauty contest or a body showing thing. It's a sport.

Instead of being embarrassed and passing this on to your kids, do some reading about the amount of dedication and work that goes into building one's body. I used to date one and they work just as hard as any football player or swimmer, but they constantly get "looks" from people who aren't into it. It's not their point at all.

Your cousin is involved in a sport. It's not like he's selling drugs or is exploiting children on the internet. Read Arnold's book "Pumping Iron" and realize what it takes to be a world class body builder.

There are WAY worse things to be embarrassed about.

 

[Planogirl]

Are you still worrying about this? Suggestion, let it go. Life is too short to worry about such minor things IMO.

 

[Anewman]

N

Everytime I meet with the Bodybuilder's father (my brother) we hear a list of excuses why he is in college for now 7 years, why this semester he only takes ONE class, yada-yada.

His total focus is bodybuilding-I guess that is what bothers me.

Why should the father explain anything to you????

My children are not perfect, but I will never owe anyone an excuse...

This kid is in college, he is dedicated to a sport(even if it is one YOU do not approve of)... Millions of parents would be proud to have a kid like that.

 

[bumbershoot]

Just saw his latest picture on facebook

All he has on is the tiniest bikini-and he is all shaven clean with a dark, dark "fakish" tan.

Sorry-I find it repulsive-especially displaying your body constantly on the Internet.

I'm not into the bodybuilding look either, and if someone in my family was, and had their pix on facebook, and I knew that, I just wouldn't look on their facebook page. Seems pretty simple!

I'm the only one of my sibs with a kid, and I talk about my kid to them when they ask, but hopefully they would never *expect* to get "explanations" for what he is and isn't doing with his life. And if my sibs did get into that sort of conversation, I would feel VERY uncomfortable. Perhaps you should stop talking about your nephew to your brother???

As for your kids, if all they are going to do is make fun or feel "embarrassed" (how you can feel embarrassed about what a cousin is doing I have NO idea) by him, they should unfriend him too, or choose the "hide" feature so they are still his FB friend but don't get updates, and don't go looking for his pix.

And when having family gatherings, try to imagine the difficulty he has in buying shirts with sleeves that fit, if he does have very large arms. He'd either have ot have clothes made for him, or buy big clothes and have them tailored down to fit...think of the expense. Is it any wonder he wears the appropriately named "muscle ts"? There's a reason those were made, you know, and it wasn't for the average joe to wear!


I only have one cousin friended...think I'll go find some more right now!

 

[C.Ann]

Why be embarrassed by someone who's dedicated to a sport? Not my cup of tea, but I would accentuate the positive.

I don't see why you are embarassed. While I personally do not like the way many body builders look (attractive wise level that is) I think if done properly it can be a great sport.

I think you should simply tell your kids that people come in all kinds of shapes and colors and not roll your eyes anymore at it all.

I can think of much worse things that family could do.

---------------------

I agree.. It's not like he's posting nude photos - or running around at family gatherings naked.. It's a sport - just like any other sport..

 

[Missy1961]

OP, I think it's time to move on.

 

[HighClass]

Why should the father explain anything to you????
My children are not perfect, but I will never owe anyone an excuse...

This kid is in college, he is dedicated to a sport(even if it is one YOU do not approve of)... Millions of parents would be proud to have a kid like that.

My siblings and I have a neat tradition-we have a monthly lunch with our elderly Mom. At these lunches we talk about ourselves, our lives and our kids.

Sister has a DD same age as MuscleBoy. She graduated from college already and is working in her field for 3 years now. I guess that is where the "explaining" happens-why this semester he dropped all his courses but one, why the next semester he changed his major.

Every semeester there is a new twist- now he's onto the third major. Funny thing is he (Muscleboy) never , ever discusses college-only his bodybuilding. and , no, it brings in no $$. He works at Walmart, in the automotive area, changing tires as his job.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I just wanted to point out, that your brother's son is your nephew, not your cousin.

I think it's sad that you can't accept your nephew for who he is. If it bothers you so much, stop going to his facebook page to look at his pictures.

 

[HighClass]

I just wanted to point out, that your brother's son is your nephew, not your cousin.

.

Really?

My kid said to me one day that he couldn't believe the "posing" Bodybuilding pictures his cousin had on Facebook-it was not something his crowd of young professionals do.That's how my thread topic came to be.

I googled his name and saw the public profile pic.I am not on Facebook.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Wouldn't your brother's son be your nephew???

I think this falls into the category of, "reasonable expectation of respecting the lives each one of us are leading". Brother's son is engaging in innocuous activity; you can use it as an opportunity to teach your children how to graciously accept the differences between people.

What a concept.

Maybe you shouldn't keep looking at it if it bothers you that much.

Another strange concept.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Judgmental much?
I'm really sorry I opened this thread.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I really need to close this thread.

Really?

My kid said to me one day that he couldn't believe the "posing" Bodybuilding pictures his cousin had on Facebook-it was not something his crowd of young professionals do.That's how my thread topic came to be.

I googled his name and saw the public profile pic.I am not on Facebook.

Your son is in a crowd of "young professionals"? Should be old enough to understand the concept of tolerance.

 

[marlynnp]

Well, he may only have one class, but contrary to your name you have absolutely no class.

 

[marlynnp]

Oh, and I'd be embarrassed by the atrocious spelling before worrying about anything my nephew was doing.