Embarrassed and Feel Like an Idiot

[Cinderellafifi]

Don't feel like an idiot!!! You were TOLD he was interested - it's your coworkers who are idiots!!

You seem to me to be someone a LOT of sombodies should be interested in!! GIGANTIC HUG!!

 

[Terk-1]

Thanks everyone. I think I just feel more embarrassed and hurt than anything else. I just don't know what I did to deserve this. It's like I've been trying to straighten my emotions out already having just lost my mom a month ago and thought well finally something positive for me and then to find out it was a joke just really hurt. Two of the women that I work with who also thought this was real found out and pretty much blasted the group that had kept this going. The one positive is to know I have a few people here that have my back.

Thanks again everyone. Knew I could come to you for hugs.

 

[tandrjohn]

Originally posted by stinkerbelle
can I offer some other advice?

don't date people you work with. trust me...it falls apart more then it works out!

Isn't this the truth!

 

[Pop Daddy]

Im sorry

 

[Robinrs]

Terk,

I know what it's like to be in the grief mode but please understand that no human being can make the pain go away.

The one thing you can always count on is that people can and will disappoint you. Put no faith in them.

Right now you need to take time and heal. Your heart is broken and you need to find some peace from within. After you have healed you can let others in your life. Whole people attract whole people.

Hang in there. Take some time to take care of yourself.

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by tandrjohn
Isn't this the truth!

No. Not really. I have worked with my LT BF for the last 3 years. It has never affected either of our job performances. We met here, and if we should ever split up, would both continue to work here.

My exH works here as well. Now I blast him on these boards day in and day out because he was a monster who physically and emotionally abused me. I can honestly say I hate him. He actually used to harrass me at work after we split up. I alerted my HR dept. and they told him to knock it off or face being fired if he did it again. (He's a big brown noser in this company and they'd never fire him for a first offense, no matter how serious it was
)

Anyway, he never bothered me directly at work again. He started some ugly rumors, saying I left him for my current BF (who'd been my best friend while I was married to him) and for a while people were nasty to me and BF; but we just let it roll off of us, and now, people have actually come up to me in the last year and apologized, and said they found out the truth and realized for themselves how much of a slime my exH is.

I ignore him at work except on the off chance I have to email him a question or something for info. This has happened maybe 3 times since the marriage was annulled.

It has also not affected my performance reviews, or my BF's one bit.

So, no, it is not really true that dating people you work with does not work out.

If you are a mature adult, and can handle relationships like a mature adult (including being civil to each other if you break up) than I don't see any problem with dating a co-worker if you really feel like he or she may be the one for you.

 

[SC Minnie]

I have had 2 relationships that started at work. 1 good and 1bad. When the 'bad' one ended after about 2months of dating the guy couldn't deal with it. It was very uncomfortable coming to work. After that I swore I would never date anyone I worked with.

About a year later I was working as a temp after graduating from college. I met someone and since I was not planning on staying there went out with him. I ended up getting a permanent job there and marrying the man (we did not work in the same dept.). We have been together for 14 yrs married for 12.


Terk-1 what the people did at your office was so mean. Unfortunately some people get gratification from seeing others hurt. Doesn't make sense to me. Anyway, keep your head up, getting upset will only feed those mean people.

 

[Serena]

Terk, what they did was childish and mean. At least now you know what kind of people they are and know not to trust them again.

You didn't deserve it, did nothing to warrant it. Don't feel embarrassed. So the guy isn't interested, who knows why, it probably has nothing to do with you.

Go and try to enjoy life, you'll meet someone when you least expect it. It makes it all the more sweet that way.

 

[Mimi Q]

Posted by NMAmy:
"Oh, my gosh, do you work at a junior high or something? Grown people start rumors like that? Sheesh!"

ITA.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

listen to Serena.

There is nothing embarrassing about wanting to find a person to develop a relationship with. People are attracted, not attracted, interested, or not interested in others for all kinds of reasons.
This one didn't work out. I know it is easier said than done, but try not to feel rejection.

If you have co-workers that did this to you on purpose, they are just crappy people.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

 

[tandrjohn]

I'm not saying meeting somebody at work doesn't ever work out, of course it does and for some single people working 8+ hours a day this is their only dating option. Actually, having been in the workplace for 20+ years, I have seen more good than bad in terms of "workplace dating", however, when the relationship goes bad it is usually a lot worst than if the relationship started outside of work. I have seen people quit, get fired, get demoted, get transfered, and get sued because of workplace relationships hence my feelings on this subject.

Terk: Sorry...hold your head up high...accept the fact that there are some real unfeeling people out there - everybody runs into them in life. Good luck!

 

[Patty3]

Terk, I am really sorry that this happened to you. Hold your head high, you did nothing wrong. I am sure that you have alot to offer, please do not sell yourself short.

 

[Disney01]

The only thing I would add, is that I WOULD NOT go to human resources with this like someone else had said. That would only make it worse, bring more attention to the situation, and make you look like a victim or a tattletale. Just try to move forward and stay away from any gossip!!