Email from Teacher

[horseshowmom]

must be the day to talk about Central Texas band teachers my DD came home complaining how cranky her band teacher was today.

I was serious though, I have never experienced the tight knittedness that is in the school communities around us and I like it a lot.

It cracks me up when teachers ride the bus because its their version of a carpool or when the regular bus driver was out sick and my DD who is the first stop had to give the sub directions because the poor guy had not a clue of what the route was or when the coach shows up in the Math class to change the lightbulb because the ladder happened to be in his classroom.

I'm only laughing because this is us!

Our secretary sometimes rides the bus to school if she has a transportation conflict. It's common for the student who is first on the route to help the sub out (as long as they're not a little kid! LOL). My husband has brought kids home in the afternoon back when he used to drive a bus (and was a classroom teacher as well - yet another small town thing ) and nobody was home at their house. We'd call around until we found out what happened to their folks (usually an unexpected delay).

Before I left school for my surgery in November, I went around to all the rooms to check with the teachers to make sure all the students were wearing coats (I keep a collection in my closet that parents or community members donate as their kids outgrow them) - found three that needed coats and let them pick out of what fit them. We dismissed early Monday due to the weather, and I announced on the intercom that if anybody didn't have a coat to come see me because it was going to be cold on those buses. One student came to borrow a coat overnight (he left his at home), and one came to get one because he didn't have one. It's just what you do in a small town - you look after each other.

 

[Ladcassidy]

I'm only laughing because this is us!

Our secretary sometimes rides the bus to school if she has a transportation conflict. It's common for the student who is first on the route to help the sub out (as long as they're not a little kid! LOL). My husband has brought kids home in the afternoon back when he used to drive a bus (and was a classroom teacher as well - yet another small town thing ) and nobody was home at their house. We'd call around until we found out what happened to their folks (usually an unexpected delay).

Before I left school for my surgery in November, I went around to all the rooms to check with the teachers to make sure all the students were wearing coats (I keep a collection in my closet that parents or community members donate as their kids outgrow them) - found three that needed coats and let them pick out of what fit them. We dismissed early Monday due to the weather, and I announced on the intercom that if anybody didn't have a coat to come see me because it was going to be cold on those buses. One student came to borrow a coat overnight (he left his at home), and one came to get one because he didn't have one. It's just what you do in a small town - you look after each other.

I grew up in small-town Texas, too, and was raised to see this as "normal." I now live in a suburb of Washington, D.C. and I'm thrilled to be a part of a small private school community where this is still "normal."

 

[horseshowmom]

I grew up in small-town Texas, too, and was raised to see this as "normal." I now live in a suburb of Washington, D.C. and I'm thrilled to be a part of a small private school community where this is still "normal."

That's a good thing!

 

[Robbi]

In our town there would have been multiple volunteers. The band kids, their parents, and teachers are a tight knit group. She probably would never have had to send the note in the first place. Here it would not be inappropriate.

 

[ronandannette]

I agree. I do not see anything wrong with it. Word of mouth is the best way to get a reliable contractor/plumber/roofer, etc. She was just seeing if anyone had someone they recommended (be it an actual licensend person or a handy-type parent). No problem there, I think!

This. Who wouldn't prefer to deal with somebody they knew or had some relationship to? And if any of the parents are professional plumbers/handymen why shouldn't they have a shot at the business?

I don't think offense should be taken but there is a line that needs to be in place between most parents and teachers. It's about professionalism. It's about not doing something for the teacher that could be perceived as trying to get favors from the teacher.

Best not to cross that line.

I didn't see anywhere in the message where she was implying she wouldn't pay for the services. Most customers would want a "decent rate" from anybody they hired, even if they found them in the Yellow Pages.

 

[tvguy]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with the email. Sure a lot better than if he asked you to your face, or called your house. If you were not in a position to help, you just ignore the email.

 

[clh2]

We actually got the name/phone number of a painter from a teacher in DD's elementary school who overheard me talking about needed a painter.

I would much rather have a recommended handyman than someone I don't know anything about.

So - the e-mail wouldn't have bothered me at all!

 

[Sugardimples]

I see nothing wrong with it. This is what people who live in communities do. There should be more of this kind of reaching out.

 

[Planogirl]

I read it as her trying to find someone trustworthy who wouldn't rip her off. She mentioned a decent rate so she's not trying to get a freebie.

 

[Nola Girl]

If it went out to everyone I think it is inappropriate, no matter how small the community. He can certainly ask for help! Ask the band booster president to help him out and maybe make some calls. As an employee of the school you are crossing a line when you ask parents for favors. They offer...big difference. I know it is semantics, but can you tell I worked in the public schools for a loooong time?

 

[NHdisneylover]

I think it depends on where you are located.

9 months ago when I lived in N. Nevada where I had lived for 20 years I would have said inappropriate. Then last spring, we moved to a small town in Central Texas and I am learning a whole different sense of community. I like that these folks look out for each other, help each other and think nothing about asking for some help. I like that people help each other and don't have ulterior motives other than to lend a hand.

My answer would now be, absolutely nothing wrong with it.

This, exactly And can I say that I prefer to live in places where this is okay?

 

[dominiondad]

I'm going with inappropriate. As a parent, I provide the school system with a lot of private information about my family - birthdays, medical issues, contact information, who I work for, etc. I expect the school to use that information for the purpose of educating and caring for my children, not for the staff to use as a personal Angie's List.
If the school were any other business and an employee did this with their client list, I suspect the employee would be walked out.

 

[Mermaid02]

Even though she mentions a "decent rate" I think she's hoping for a freebie- and really, WHO is going to charge her? Nobody and she knows it.

Inappropriate use of the email addresses provided to her. She should have posted on FB or something like that.

 

[daisyduck123]

Not something I would do myself...but I don't see any harm in it.

Same with me.

I wouldn't have given it a second thought...would've never even occurred to me that this was "Dis-worthy". But I guess it is, seeing the various responses.

 

[kamik86]

It depends. If she is planning to pay someone to have the heater replaced then I have no problem with it. Otherwise it does kind of seem like a bit big of a favor to get from students/parents to not look like it might garner some favoritism. (Even if it wouldn't it may still look like it).

However the part of about needing someone with a truck wouldn't bother me. Then again I'm someone that doesn't own a truck and often gets someone that does to help me move things (My mom and older sister have SUVs and Dad drives a pickup, its rare that I can't swap cars with one of them for an afternoon)

 

[WDWJDS]

I suppose anybody could perceive anything any kind of way. As a fellow band parent, I saw nothing wrong with the email. We are a very tight groups of parents and feel like we work with the band director during the season. Because we would probably want to ease any hardship our band director has (so that he could focus on the band), we would jump through hoops to help him find someone.

I never thought in a million years that recommending a vendor to the band director would somehow earn brownie points - I suppose he could let her ride in the front of the bus to competitions In our band, people aren't fighting over section leader or drum major or stuff like that. Pants on, line up and hit the field!

 

[Pembo]

I find it very unprofessional and inappropriate.

 

[Disney Doll]

I don't see a problem with it personally.

However, I can tell you that in my somewhat snooty suburban town (I didn't grow up here, I moved here...I grew up in the "wicked city" next door to my town...a fact that drives some of the people who live in my town crazy that I "got in" ), there would be people whose knickers would be in a twist over this. I'm in the northeast about an hour north of NYC where I think, overall, people are just so much more full of themselves and their own sense of righteousness than in other areas of the country.

Menawhile, I hope the band director found someone who could help.

 

[kamik86]

I suppose anybody could perceive anything any kind of way. As a fellow band parent, I saw nothing wrong with the email. We are a very tight groups of parents and feel like we work with the band director during the season. Because we would probably want to ease any hardship our band director has (so that he could focus on the band), we would jump through hoops to help him find someone.

I never thought in a million years that recommending a vendor to the band director would somehow earn brownie points - I suppose he could let her ride in the front of the bus to competitions In our band, people aren't fighting over section leader or drum major or stuff like that. Pants on, line up and hit the field!

It wasn't the recommendation I was talking about, it was the idea of having a plumber or handy parent do the work for the band director that could cause issues.

Maybe its because I work in a field that has yearly training on appropriate gifts and what things need to be declared and what can't we accept and what kind of things aren't an issue at all that I think of things like this.

 

[Kona65]

So when is it wrong to ask for help. She is not asking for someone to replace her hot water heater free of charge, just help in replacing it. I see no problem here. TDBIASWS.