Elderly Woman CONSTANTLY Calls Me.. wrong #

[TheZue]

I suspect she probably is in the beginning stages of dementia. Do you have call display? Maybe you could check if somebody where she lives has the same last name and maybe track down some relatives to see if they can help. It's a real long shot, but if she's anything like my mother she's probably forgetting she talked to you at all or completely remembering it wrong. Yelling would do absolutely nothing in that case except make her upset and even more confused.

 

[tomthebarncat]

IF you have the number she is calling from, I would spend a few minutes calling your local AAA and relay this information to someone there. I interned as a social worker there and we got the most bizarre inquiries, etc. so this one should be no different. Please do the human thing and hope for the best. I do not support victimizing an old woman who is clearly suffering already!!

 

[bgirldeb]

It does sound like she has some sort of dementia since she keeps calling after being told it's a wrong number. If that's the case, no amount of reasoning with her or yelling at her is going to work. If you have her number on caller ID, I would try to call the number and see if someone else answers.

 

[Disneyadore]

Perhaps not but at least it will let out some of the frustration. Sometimes just yelling makes you feel better, especially at the object of your frustration.



I lived with my mid-90 year old great grandma and almost 80 year old grandma in college so I know that all old people don't go calling strangers repeatedly even being asked not to. I hope a family member has the sense to take my phone away once I am no longer sane enough to use it.

I promise that if I start calling any of you repeatedly feel free to yell at me all day long.

Karma is listing my friend. Young people like you always think they are "King of the World and nothing can happen to them. Remember you could be seconds away from a car accident were you could suffer brain damage.

I suppose you wouldn't mind then if every one yelled at you or just let you rotten in your bed because you don't have "enough manners "to go to the toilet or wash yourself.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

It sounds like the woman may have dementia or Alzheimer's. My Aunt is current going through this and it happened so fast we didn't know it was happening until she wandered into the neighbors house one night. My guess is the family doesn't realize what is going on yet or she doesn't have any family at all.

Either way, I wouldn't recommend yelling at her and calling her in the middle of the night. Even if it is just bad manners on her part that doesn't give someone else the right to display bad manners in return. I'm guessing someone wasn't taught the "two wrongs do not make a right" saying while growing up.

 

[Planogirl]

I can't imagine yelling at an obviously confused elderly lady. That seems...just plain mean. I don't know what else to say.

 

[hereyago]

Perhaps, hopefully someone with enough manners of their own to not repeatedly call strangers throughout the day after being asked not to.

The only real victim here is the person receiving the phone calls, not the person making them.

We'll just have to agree to disagree.

I usually agree with other posts with you. HOWEVER, dementia and Alzheimer's, you should educate yourself on these. It's like a plaque over their brain that covers what should be common sense, filters,etc.

My grandmother had it, but hers was her not knowing where she was and she thought my grandfather was still alive. we decided to just say he was on his way, but she would forget about it, better then saying he was dead and her having to relive the grief.

My DM has Parkinson's, guess what comes with it? Dementia and eventually Alzheimer's. DM has always had issues and her short term memory is what is affecting her now. I have taken my DM's phone out of her room all ready. She has ALWAYS been a night owl and she thinks that her friends who used to go out with her are still night owls and she doesn't need to call anyone after 9 or later.

You say about yelling and that maybe they-the person calling should have manners? WOW! That is like saying someone who is a paranoid schzofrenic shouldn't think about someone watching them. People with dementia and alzheimer,s have a neurological condition, you can't find logic with someone who no longer has the capacity for it.

 

[luvmy3]

To FD's defense, when my uncle was suffering from dimentia and doing things like this one of the things he did respond to was yelling (not quite yelling), but a stern reprimand like he was being disciplined like a child. Of course he wasn't very pleasant when he had his episodes so maybe thats why it was handled that way by the family members who were caring for him. Anyway I don't agree with yelling at the poor woman, or alot of the other stuff mentioned here, I just would stop answering the phone.

 

[dispor]

IF you have the number she is calling from, I would spend a few minutes calling your local AAA and relay this information to someone there. I interned as a social worker there and we got the most bizarre inquiries, etc. so this one should be no different. Please do the human thing and hope for the best. I do not support victimizing an old woman who is clearly suffering already!!

I think this is an excellent idea. If the woman is as confused as she sounds, she should not be living alone. Perhaps she is even still driving!

My guess is that someone has accidentally programmed YOUR number into her telephone speed dial.

 

[*JoGo*]

I DO ignore her calls. It's not as simple as "don't answer". She will call, I'll not answer, it'll go to voicemail, she'll hang up and call again.

I can't set my phone to ignore her number. I've had this cell # for over 10 years - I think she is misdialing or has written down the wrong (my) number for whoever she's trying to call.

I looked her up on 411.com, I had used a different site previously to find out where she lived, and 2 people came up as her relatives. It doesn't list their phone numbers though. Next time she calls I will try to get more info from her, although she was rather offended when I asked if anyone takes care of her and if she needs help.


I assure you this woman will not be knitting anything for me.

 

[luvmy3]

I DO ignore her calls. It's not as simple as "don't answer". She will call, I'll not answer, it'll go to voicemail, she'll hang up and call again.

I can't set my phone to ignore her number. I've had this cell # for over 10 years - I think she is misdialing or has written down the wrong (my) number for whoever she's trying to call.

I looked her up on 411.com, I had used a different site previously to find out where she lived, and 2 people came up as her relatives. It doesn't list their phone numbers though. Next time she calls I will try to get more info from her, although she was rather offended when I asked if anyone takes care of her and if she needs help.


I assure you this woman will not be knitting anything for me.

What does she say when you tell her she has the wrong #, does she think you are someone else or is she just calling to chit chat? I would be very annoyed and I don't think I'd be very pleasant if what I was saying over and over wasn't getting through. I'm thinking I would threaten her with calling the police for harrasment or something like that (not that I would do that) but at some point this needs to stop. You shouldn't have to track down relatives, or anyone else, just so she'll stop calling you, that is way above and beyond. If she's ill as sad as that is, it shouldn't be your problem and your burden.

 

[Jennasis]

Umm gang...while you may not agree with Firedancer's tactic towards the caller, the name-calling is completely out of line. Play nice.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

It makes me really sad that anyone thinks it's okay to treat another human being so poorly.

 

[agnes!]

OP, you're probably done all this already, but I had a couple of thoughts...

*Have you been able to figure out if the number she is *trying* to call actually matches up with yours? For instance, is she trying to "(123)555-5555" (someone else) but is instead calling "(124)555-5555" (which is you)?

*Have you asked her "who are you trying to reach?" Maybe she's trying to reach the infamous "Ruby" & you could perhaps get Ruby's full name & city from this lady. Look Ruby up on whitepages.com and see what "Ruby's" actual number is and get in contact with her.

*Have you asked the lady what city/state she thinks she's calling?


Something has changed very recently in this woman's life... she either is making a simple (albeit repeated) mistake or she has some confusion issues.

Good luck - I hope you're able to figure out what is going on.
agnes!

 

[luvmy3]

It makes me really sad that anyone thinks it's okay to treat another human being so poorly.

I know, poor OP

 

[NikitaZee]

What does she say when you tell her she has the wrong #, does she think you are someone else or is she just calling to chit chat? I would be very annoyed and I don't think I'd be very pleasant if what I was saying over and over wasn't getting through. I'm thinking I would threaten her with calling the police for harrasment or something like that (not that I would do that) but at some point this needs to stop. You shouldn't have to track down relatives, or anyone else, just so she'll stop calling you, that is way above and beyond. If she's ill as sad as that is, it shouldn't be your problem and your burden.

I agree with this. The OP has tried to get further information from the caller, and the caller doesn't seem to want to offer any. My elderly grandma lived with us - she had dementia - and was angry and combative a lot. Nothing was ever her fault - no matter how nicely we pointed anything out there was always an argument. If she had been making those calls and we tried to stop her, she would not have listened to us. She wouldn't have admitted she had misdialed. It's very, very hard dealing with someone like that - even if you love them dearly, and even if you realize their mind is not all there anymore. I think I'd just pay for a month of call-blocking - maybe after repeated phone calls she'll figure it out.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Perhaps not but at least it will let out some of the frustration. Sometimes just yelling makes you feel better, especially at the object of your frustration.


I lived with my mid-90 year old great grandma and almost 80 year old grandma in college so I know that all old people don't go calling strangers repeatedly even being asked not to. I hope a family member has the sense to take my phone away once I am no longer sane enough to use it.

I promise that if I start calling any of you repeatedly feel free to yell at me all day long.

Even if that "object" is a confused little old lady.

Maybe she doesn't have any family members around.

All situations are different. This isn't Robot World.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I would pay the $5 a month to block her number. After a few months she will give up trying. Even if it takes a year, that's not a lot of money for peace of mind. I understand it is somewhat annoying to have to pay for another person's mistake/behavior but it is an easy solution to your problem and really a small amount of money to take care of it. It will be much more trouble to track down her relatives, deal with police, or continue to have her calling and upsetting you day and night.

 

[SpecialK]

I'd ask her who she was trying to reach instead of telling her wrong number next time. You might be able to find a way around it next time.

I went through the same thing a few weeks ago but my caller (who was looking for Millie) understood when I told her she had the wrong number. I know it's frustrating, but it seems like you can talk to her and try to help her realize she's dialing wrong, or you can pay for call blocker.

Treating her badly, as has been suggested, is not the way to go.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Perhaps, hopefully someone with enough manners of their own to not repeatedly call strangers throughout the day after being asked not to.

The only real victim here is the person receiving the phone calls, not the person making them. The only person who deserves pity here is the OP who is being harassed. I'd say get the police involved but they do have better things to do then deal with this.

We'll just have to agree to disagree.

And I thought I'd heard it all from you before.