Elderly Woman CONSTANTLY Calls Me.. wrong #

[RadioNate]

That's sweet and disturbing all at the same time. I shows just how vulnerable we are if we are dealing with someone determined to know how to physically find us.

It is really quite easy and I actually encourage the OP to reverse look up the phone number and see if she can get ahold of someone close to the lady involved in stopping the calls.

Last week I had to sell something on Craigslist. It was a very large item and it was not possible to transport it to a public place. The buyer called my home phone. From their number on my caller ID and the small amount of personal information they offered I was able to located their street address, business website (he was an insurance guy,) and both the husband and wife's facebook page. I also learned the names of her siblings and where they lived. Took less than 5 minutes.

Unfortunately, I don't think the calls will stop unless the OP gets someone close to the caller involved. I don't think there is any reason to pay to block the number unless they get no where reaching out.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would pay the money and block her number or ignore it and not pick it up. We ignore the house phone all the time for numbers we don't know.

If it was on my cell, I would pay and block it for sure.

While everyone has sweet stories this is 3 times a day. I would most certainly talk to phone caller to get a reason for the call, you never know. I have never had to do that but I do talk to misdialers and tell them they have the wrong number.

But after talking with the person repeatedly & not getting thru to them, I might have to change my strategy.

 

[tonilea]

Unfortunately, something similar happened in our family, but my MIL was the caller! The poor lady she called was able to contact my SIL and she called us.

It was even worse in our case, she asked the lady she called to give her a bath!

That said, I would try to find out a bit about her family when she calls, perhaps you would be able to reach them. I am sure they would want to know if things like this are taking place!

 

[torinsmom]

If you block a number, does the other party get a certain message, or does it just seem like the number is not a valid one? Maybe if you block her number for just one month, she will stop trying.

Marsha

 

[happygirl]

I can set different ring tones on my phones for different numbers. I would set her number with a ringtone. then turn the volume down on it.

 

[luvmy3]

Just don't answer the phone.

 

[golfgal]

I would do a reverse number look up through 411.com-as long as it isn't a cell number she is calling from-which is unlikely. If she is listed in directory assistance chances are her name and address are there. I would send a letter to her stating that she keeps calling your phone number multiple times/day and you are worried about her. Maybe a child, caregiver, someone will get this letter and do something about it. I guess I would try to help her out if I could instead of getting angry with her. Find out who she is trying to call and see if you can look that number up on 411.com even. Chances are whomever it is is a digit off of your number or that person had your cell number before you did and she is calling an old number from her address book.

 

[Rora]

Like others have mentioned, I'd call the number back and see if someone else answers and explain the situation.

I think paying to block the number is a little silly unless you think that if maybe when she calls and can't get through she realizes she must have the wrong number? Obviously there's no way you could know this but I'd block her number for a couple of months and then stop paying for the service.

If worse comes to worse, change your number. In the meantime: grace and patience.

This is frustrating, but she must be frustrated too. Best of luck!

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Just don't answer the phone.

I can't believe it took 25 replies to get to this one That, obviously, was going to be my response as well.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I don't have any good advice, except to perhaps practice grace.

We had a similar situation when our daughter was a special needs infant. At the time I had to feed her every 3 hours around the clock... and the feeds could sometimes take over an hour. Since I was a sahm, I did all the night feedings during the week.

From time to time I would get a call from an elderly woman looking for Ruby. I am not Ruby. From a few conversations I found out that my mystery caller had recurring insomnia, and her friend Ruby did too. So they had a deal to call each other if they couldn't sleep and wanted to talk. Our phone number was only 1 number away and she would misdial. She was always very apologetic and embarrassed.

Thru a few conversations she found out the reason I always answered on the first ring in the middle of the night. (trying to keep baby calm or asleep) One day, about 5 months into the occasional calls, I received a package in the mail. She had knit the most lovely and delicate pale pink sweater, booties and bonnet, hand trimmed with antique lace, for our daughter. There was a sweet card in there telling me that she had her grandson figure out our last name and address from our phone number and she wanted to send something for the baby and to thank me for being gracious to an elderly woman that couldn't seem to hit the right number from time to time. She also said that her grandson set up her speed dial when he heard the story so that hopefully she wouldn't misdial me anymore.

She died about 6 or 7 months later. I saw it in the local paper. I took the baby to the calling hours... dressed in her pretty pink sweater set. I got to meet a lovely family, and, by coincidence, her daughter taught my daughter in first grade 2 years ago. I love how life works!

We need more of this kindness.

 

[FireDancer]

Wow, she's an elderly lady who clearly isn't understanding what's going on. Confusing and frightening her seems a bit drastic and harsh. Chances are she won't understand what you're so upset about it will do nothing but cause this woman distress, which may actually make the situation worse.

I'm not sure what to do here, but I really don't think this is the best answer.

You are right, the first couple of times it is good to be nice and courteous. If after trying that the person continues to annoy and harass you, whether that is the intention or not, you have to change the approach. Continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result is insane.

There comes a point where patience runs out and the solution of someone else's problem, whatever it is, costing me (or the OP) money to solve is ludicrous.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

You are right, the first couple of times it is good to be nice and courteous. If after trying that the person continues to annoy and harass you, whether that is the intention or not, you have to change the approach. Continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result is insane.

There comes a point where patience runs out and the solution of someone else's problem, whatever it is, costing me (or the OP) money to solve is ludicrous.

so yelling at her is the answer? You do realize you will be old someday, would you want someone treating you that way?

 

[meliss8599]

We had the same problem. An older gentlemen kept calling us.
After a few times I started a conversation with him. Asked his name,where he lived and if he had children.
Ho told me he had a daughter and I asked were she works ,if she was married,grandchildren etc etc.
He was quit pleasant to talk with and told us everything about his life.
We than just called the company his daughter worked and explained the situation.
It took a little effort but after we the daughter told us her father was suffering from Alzheimer we totally understood. He was just "lost in time" as she told us.
This can happen to all of us.

This is exactly what my mom did when she had an elderly woman mistakenly frequently call her. The daughter was so appreciative my mom took the time to notify her.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

not long ago..an elderly lady called here about 4x an hour for about 3 hours..asking for someone named Irene..told her she had the wrong #..she would hang up , then call back..after awhile I got really tired of telling her she had the wrong #..I asked if I could help her somehow..she said she was almost blind and couldn't see the #'s on the phone..I asked her for the phone # and Irene's last name..she gave it to me..I called Irene..explained what was happening , and she said she would take care of it..she called me back later that same day , and thanked me..said she had bought Rose (the elderly lady) a new phone..one with those GIANT #'s..and programmed it for speed dial so she could call Irene (or anyone else in her family) without constantly getting a wrong number
I had to stop and remind myself that I too, am getting older, and someday may be in Rose's situation..and would appreciate it if a stranger took a moment to do something to help
So please, all DIS'ers..pay it forward if you can, and remember that all of us may be in their shoes someday!

But it's so much easier to be a jerk... *eyeroll*
Good for you! I would hope that I would do the same thing But like I said, the worst I would do is just not answer the phone... which, truthfully, is what I tend to do if I don't recognize the number anyway.

 

[Scurvy]

OP, that would bother me, too. As others have mentioned, if you could set her specific ringtone to "Silent" or something very quiet that would probably be the easiest solution. Otherwise, I definitely think responding with rudeness would be a terrible idea. The poor woman obviously has some sort of problem that is causing this confusion. I don't think yelling at her and making harrassing phones calls would do anything to help, and would probably just make everything worse. If she hasn't understood to stop calling when you've explained it to her, I don't see how yelling and calling her are going to make her understand any better. It would probably just confuse her more.

For that matter, it wouldn't be a good idea if she was harrassing you intentionally, either. It would most likely just escalate the situation.

I do hope you can find a workable solution. I know I would be horribly annoyed if that was happening to me. Good luck!

 

[dis-happy]

I don't have any good advice, except to perhaps practice grace.

We had a similar situation when our daughter was a special needs infant. At the time I had to feed her every 3 hours around the clock... and the feeds could sometimes take over an hour. Since I was a sahm, I did all the night feedings during the week.

From time to time I would get a call from an elderly woman looking for Ruby. I am not Ruby. From a few conversations I found out that my mystery caller had recurring insomnia, and her friend Ruby did too. So they had a deal to call each other if they couldn't sleep and wanted to talk. Our phone number was only 1 number away and she would misdial. She was always very apologetic and embarrassed.

Thru a few conversations she found out the reason I always answered on the first ring in the middle of the night. (trying to keep baby calm or asleep) One day, about 5 months into the occasional calls, I received a package in the mail. She had knit the most lovely and delicate pale pink sweater, booties and bonnet, hand trimmed with antique lace, for our daughter. There was a sweet card in there telling me that she had her grandson figure out our last name and address from our phone number and she wanted to send something for the baby and to thank me for being gracious to an elderly woman that couldn't seem to hit the right number from time to time. She also said that her grandson set up her speed dial when he heard the story so that hopefully she wouldn't misdial me anymore.

She died about 6 or 7 months later. I saw it in the local paper. I took the baby to the calling hours... dressed in her pretty pink sweater set. I got to meet a lovely family, and, by coincidence, her daughter taught my daughter in first grade 2 years ago. I love how life works!

That is the sweetest story...brought tears to my eyes!

 

[Liberty Belle]

I don't have any good advice, except to perhaps practice grace.

We had a similar situation when our daughter was a special needs infant. At the time I had to feed her every 3 hours around the clock... and the feeds could sometimes take over an hour. Since I was a sahm, I did all the night feedings during the week.

From time to time I would get a call from an elderly woman looking for Ruby. I am not Ruby. From a few conversations I found out that my mystery caller had recurring insomnia, and her friend Ruby did too. So they had a deal to call each other if they couldn't sleep and wanted to talk. Our phone number was only 1 number away and she would misdial. She was always very apologetic and embarrassed.

Thru a few conversations she found out the reason I always answered on the first ring in the middle of the night. (trying to keep baby calm or asleep) One day, about 5 months into the occasional calls, I received a package in the mail. She had knit the most lovely and delicate pale pink sweater, booties and bonnet, hand trimmed with antique lace, for our daughter. There was a sweet card in there telling me that she had her grandson figure out our last name and address from our phone number and she wanted to send something for the baby and to thank me for being gracious to an elderly woman that couldn't seem to hit the right number from time to time. She also said that her grandson set up her speed dial when he heard the story so that hopefully she wouldn't misdial me anymore.

She died about 6 or 7 months later. I saw it in the local paper. I took the baby to the calling hours... dressed in her pretty pink sweater set. I got to meet a lovely family, and, by coincidence, her daughter taught my daughter in first grade 2 years ago. I love how life works!

That's a beautiful story.

I'm so glad you didn't yell in the phone or start calling her back at inappropriate times as has been suggested to the OP.

 

[FireDancer]

so yelling at her is the answer?

Perhaps not but at least it will let out some of the frustration. Sometimes just yelling makes you feel better, especially at the object of your frustration.

You do realize you will be old someday, would you want someone treating you that way?

I lived with my mid-90 year old great grandma and almost 80 year old grandma in college so I know that all old people don't go calling strangers repeatedly even being asked not to. I hope a family member has the sense to take my phone away once I am no longer sane enough to use it.

I promise that if I start calling any of you repeatedly feel free to yell at me all day long.

 

[DonaldG72]

Perhaps not but at least it will let out some of the frustration. Sometimes just yelling makes you feel better, especially at the object of your frustration.



I lived with my mid-90 year old great grandma and almost 80 year old grandma in college so I know that all old people don't go calling strangers repeatedly even being asked not to. I hope a family member has the sense to take my phone away once I am no longer sane enough to use it.

I promise that if I start calling any of you repeatedly feel free to yell at me all day long.

I am glad i am not your grand parent - maybe you need someone older than you to teach you manners.

 

[FireDancer]

I am glad i am not your grand parent - maybe you need someone older than you to teach you manners.

Perhaps, hopefully someone with enough manners of their own to not repeatedly call strangers throughout the day after being asked not to.

The only real victim here is the person receiving the phone calls, not the person making them. The only person who deserves pity here is the OP who is being harassed. I'd say get the police involved but they do have better things to do then deal with this.

We'll just have to agree to disagree.