I was not able to go to the bank until 12/7 due to personal reasons.
She emailed me saying she was too busy to pick up the m.o. Excuse me but if you expect payment and do not tell people not to request delivery...isn't it your responsibility to get it?
Do you see the irony here? You had reasons for not being able to get the money order for several days, but are seemingly unwilling to understand why the seller may also be unable to get to the post office?
If a buyer told me on 12/5 that she was overnighting a money order, I would expect in on 12/6. According to your own timeline, you said you would overnight the m.o. on 12/5, but did not actually send it until 12/8. Can you really blame the seller for starting to worry? If she had told you that she was overnighting your purchase, and after three days the item had still not arrived, would you wonder if she was not being upfront with you? And if the item finally arrived, clearly postmarked three days after she assured you she had already sent it, would you start feeling less than warm and fuzzy toward your seller?
Ebay is a unique online venue in which you can reserve merchandise without having to immediately pay for it. I can't think of any other website that would not require immediate payment or would allow a customer to mail in a payment several days later, and still hold the goods. That's a luxury and a privelege - I mean try filling up a shopping cart at target.com and see if you get the option to mail in payment, and have them hold all your stuff for you!
I'm sorry that you were sick. But your seller has probably heard that a dozen times. Or worse! I belong to a seller's group, and I have heard plenty of horror stories of my own - non-paying bidders who claim deaths in the family, devastating house fires, crippling injuries, cats, dogs and babies who mistakenly bid on items, vengeful ex-girlfriends who hack into accounts, and all manner of creative excuses. It's easy for a seller to get jaded, and see all late payers as just making up excuses.
There is no excuse for your seller not keeping in contact with you. Communication is the key to a successful sale on ebay, and in having a successful service-oriented business. Your seller is remiss in not answering your emails.
I am sorry you will no longer use ebay, I actually make my living selling on ebay and buy things there all the time, using PayPal as my primary means of making and accepting payments. I personally have never had a single problem with a seller, or with identity theft, and only a couple of non-paying bidders.