DVD players/headphones/plane

[Tara]

I have to say I'm shocked at how rude some of these responses are!

I can't say I'd rather hear a screaming child over a cartoon but I guess that's the case. Go figure....

You might consider the fact that asking for opinions and then criticizing those whose opinions don't support your plans is rude. If you post on a public forum, you are GUARANTEED to get a variety of viewpoints--yours is no more or no less important as anyone else's.

I'd strongly advise you to bring along some other things to entertain/occupy your children. If they won't wear earphones and others around you complain about the noise, the FAs WILL tell you to turn it off or turn the volume down. What will you do then? What if the DVD player malfunctions, or the battery drains more quickly than you expect? What if the time they need a distraction most is when you arne't allowed to use electonic devices (below 10,000 feet? Do yourself a favor and have a backup plan - you never know if you might need it.

 

[brymolmom]

When my dd was your baby's age....And I was concerned before the flight. I determined that it was either headphones or nothing and we 'practiced' a bit at home and no, they didn't know there was any sound without headphones - so for them, it was either headphones or just watch the picture with no volume (we were doing a lot of Baby Einstein videos at the time so this worked well even without sound - it was distracting). I thought about it long and hard and posted here like you just did and came to the conclusion that as a courtesy, I just couldn't do it. At first I thought - well, maybe if she's having a HUGE tantrum that would be more annoying to others - but then figured out - I could easily get her out of a huge tantrum by giving her M&M's - one at a time - for a half hour or hour. NOT something I would do at home, EVER - but on a plane, when everyone esle's comfort is just as important as my family's - YES, I would do that if needed.

What ended up happening on that flight? She wore them for awhile, watched without for awhile (older brother kept his on a lot longer - 3 at the time) and we kept her entertained with other things for the rest. It honestly didn't end up being a big deal and hopefully that will prove to be the case for you as well.

Good luck.

 

[ironz]

When my dd was your baby's age....And I was concerned before the flight. I determined that it was either headphones or nothing and we 'practiced' a bit at home and no, they didn't know there was any sound without headphones - so for them, it was either headphones or just watch the picture with no volume (we were doing a lot of Baby Einstein videos at the time so this worked well even without sound - it was distracting). I thought about it long and hard and posted here like you just did and came to the conclusion that as a courtesy, I just couldn't do it. At first I thought - well, maybe if she's having a HUGE tantrum that would be more annoying to others - but then figured out - I could easily get her out of a huge tantrum by giving her M&M's - one at a time - for a half hour or hour. NOT something I would do at home, EVER - but on a plane, when everyone esle's comfort is just as important as my family's - YES, I would do that if needed.

What ended up happening on that flight? She wore them for awhile, watched without for awhile (older brother kept his on a lot longer - 3 at the time) and we kept her entertained with other things for the rest. It honestly didn't end up being a big deal and hopefully that will prove to be the case for you as well.

Good luck.

Thank you.

 

[Hannathy]

When my dd was your baby's age....And I was concerned before the flight. I determined that it was either headphones or nothing and we 'practiced' a bit at home and no, they didn't know there was any sound without headphones - so for them, it was either headphones or just watch the picture with no volume (we were doing a lot of Baby Einstein videos at the time so this worked well even without sound - it was distracting). I thought about it long and hard and posted here like you just did and came to the conclusion that as a courtesy, I just couldn't do it. At first I thought - well, maybe if she's having a HUGE tantrum that would be more annoying to others - but then figured out - I could easily get her out of a huge tantrum by giving her M&M's - one at a time - for a half hour or hour. NOT something I would do at home, EVER - but on a plane, when everyone esle's comfort is just as important as my family's - YES, I would do that if needed.

What ended up happening on that flight? She wore them for awhile, watched without for awhile (older brother kept his on a lot longer - 3 at the time) and we kept her entertained with other things for the rest. It honestly didn't end up being a big deal and hopefully that will prove to be the case for you as well.

Good luck.

Yep been there done that!

My DS when he was under 2 could be kept occupied forever with 1 cup of ice from the FA when they went around and an empty cup! That ice went back and forth in and out of his hands, mouth, on the tray back in one cup over and over again. Just get extra napkins for when it starts to melt.

 

[maxiesmom]

I just think comparing BITBBH to Halloween, actually complaining to a FA about a child enjoying a low volume TV show on the way to Disney and now you insinuating that I can't entertain my kids for a 4 hour flight is rude.

I guess I'm just more considerate of children and families then other people. If it's within reason and helps both child and parent have a better flight (or what have you) I would not have an issue. I have never flown with my kids yet and I'm terrified of, well, people like these, who are so negative and inconsiderate to the littlest travelers.

I guess I get tired of the posts that seem to say "Let my child do what they want, or they will scream." And I get tired of parents who seem to think that is ok. Kids will be kids, and some screaming may happen. It is up to the parents to find a way to limit that screaming as much as they can.

You asked if others would mind a dvd player on a plane being used without headphones. The vast majority have said "Yes". So if you are truly considerate of everyone on the plane you need to come up with other ways to entertain your child. I'm sorry if you thought I was insinuating that you were incapable of that, but I wasn't. Please take the time to think of other things you children enjoy that won't negativel affect the other people on the plane. Before the kids were to old for it, I would put together little activity books for them. Dot to dot, puzzles, coloring pages. Those books kept the kids occupied, and didn't bother others. And I enjoyed putting them together.

 

[tjmw2727]

I have to say I'm shocked at how rude some of these responses are!

I can't say I'd rather hear a screaming child over a cartoon but I guess that's the case. Go figure....

I wonder why are those the only two options? It was your quesiton - would you rather hear bear in the blue house or a screaming toddler?

Those of us who fly often put up wth alot, my answer would be neither.

I guess if I flew once in a while then a couple hours of a cartoon wouldn't bother me, but for some of us it isn't a once in a while occurance. I don't agree that advising you to try your best to use headphones or find another activity is rude and some of us tried to be helpful.

The poster who mentioned the engine noise had a good point, if your kids need to hear the video they will probably need headphones. Otherwise the volume you will need for both of them to hear would probably bother your neighbors.

 

[bavaria]

I believe that Tara already said it, but it is classic behaviour here for someone to ask if they may behave badly, and when they are advised how or why their behaviour will negatively impact others they turn around and call everyone else rude, rather than reevaluate their own behaviour.

I am very concerned about the future generation based on what I read here. It would appear that a number of parents are so focussed on their children to the exclusion of other members of society. I certainly was not raised that way, but I fear that we already see here the beginnings of this based on the number of people who expect things or want to break rules.

I understand that you value your children, most likely above all else, but you are part of a larger society (I mean that as a global 'thou' to clarify, before the OP thinks that I am singling her out) An airplane is a perfect example of how there are several elements of society - the old, the young, people with physical issues, people who are excited about holiday, people who are grieving, etc etc. To place your needs above everyone else's and not to consider them even when they are pointed out to you demonstrates a lack of respect and consideration.

There are many other options to entertain your children, and to state that the only two options are a tantrum/crying or a DVD player with no headphones is not realistic, hence the type of response. Again, there are many good suggestions on how to entertain children. Millions of us flew as children with no iPod, no DVD player, no video games, and were only permitted to bring one book or one toy on board. We survived, and from what I recall behaved appropriately and didn't disturb other passengers. It can be done - we did it, and our parents did it.

 

[WillCAD]

I have to say I'm shocked at how rude some of these responses are!

I can't say I'd rather hear a screaming child over a cartoon but I guess that's the case. Go figure....

I'd rather not hear either one on a 2-hour flight in a confined space where I'm already uncomfortable and under some anxiety and stress. Is there no other option?

Since your kid is 20 months old, I am certain that you have had ample time to develop a set of parenting skills which go beyond simply flipping on the DVD player. You probably know your kid better than anyone else on Earth, so you probably know other ways to keep the kid entertained, calm, and reasonably happy for a few hours.

To say that the only choices are DVD without headphones or screaming kid is ridiculous; it implies that you have no other way to entertain, calm, or quiet your own kid than to put on a DVD. Since I'm sure that's not the case, I can only assume that what you really meant is that you have no desire to USE any of the other options, which means that you are placing your own desires above the comfort and well-being of all 200 or so other passengers on the plane.

That, in and of itself, is the very definition of rude, selfish behavior.

Implying that anyone who disagrees with rude, selfish behavior is rude or dislikes children is arrogant, and self-important.

Since I'm sure you didn't mean to be rude, I hope you will re-evaluate your plans. I hope that you will bring your other parenting skills into play during your flights, and will be able to keep your kid happy, calm, and quiet while you're locked up in a tin can with hundreds of other stressed-out people for several hours.

And without getting into the whole "parents and kids are more important than childless adults" debate, let me remind you that there will likely be other families with kids on your flight, and any noise you or your family make can disturb them just as much as it disturbs anyone else. I would not be a happy camper if I had a toddler whom I was trying to get to sleep and couldn't because of someone else's DVD player or screaming toddler.

 

[bavaria]

Since I'm sure you didn't mean to be rude, I hope you will re-evaluate your plans.

I tend to agree with you. I don't think that the OP intentionally came to ask if she could perform inconsiderate behaviour - hopefully she didn't realise how inconsiderate that behaviour can be. My initial thought is that we have all at some point done something which negatively impacts others, and when that behaviour is pointed out to us we tend to feel ashamed or embarassed. Perhaps some people then lash out when they feel ashamed, or embarassed, and that is why we see this sort of response.

But at the same time, if someone asks if a certain behavior is appropriate, there is a good chance that they already know the answer, and shouldn't be surprised to hear the responses.

I also don't agree that asking your neighbours if you can listen without a headset is much better behaviour. By doing so, you place that person in a position where they have almost no choice but to agree to your behaviour, regardless of how they feel. If they say 'no', then I am quite certain that the person asking will respond in a similar fashion as we see online (whether directly, or to themselves, or by starting a thread)

Asking your seatmate if you can engage in inconsiderate behaviour is almost as inconsiderate as just doing it, because you place them in a position where they are forced to answer the question the way you want to hear it.

By the way, many parents suggest something as simple as a roll of scotch tape or post-it notes to keep toddlers entertained during a flight. Often simple works just as well and doesn't impact anyone with a mess or a smell or oversized carry on.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I have to say I'm shocked at how rude some of these responses are!

I can't say I'd rather hear a screaming child over a cartoon but I guess that's the case. Go figure....

Not one response you quoted was rude. Let's change that.

Feeling self-entitled and, yes (sorry bookwormde), threatening other passengers - "You can either listen to my child's video entertainment or you can listen to my child cry" - is rude, greedy, and inconsiderate on the part of the parent. Not to mention (oops, too late) that by indulging a child like this rather than teaching them how to behave, manage, or cope in public situations is setting up your child for the same attitude and behavior.

There've been some excellent, considerate suggestions in this thread - try those, or consider an alternate means of transportation.

 

[Scurvy]

I'd rather not hear either one.

I had to fly often with my son while he was young. It was very stressful - I certainly would have preferred to drive but that wasn't an option for us at that time. I always worried that we would disturb our fellow passengers and so I tried to come prepared to entertain him for the whole flight in ways that wouldn't be a distraction to everyone else.

As others have already said, there are plenty of options available to you other than the two that were mentioned in the OP. I know that this will seem harsh and I promise that it isn't intended to be, but honestly I think that if for some reason those truly are your only options at this point, then your kids aren't ready to fly and you should try to avoid flying until they are ready.

Kids aren't perfect, and most people don't expect them to be. I think most passengers are understanding if a small child starts to cry on an airplane. Screaming or longterm crying are much less understandable. You need to find ways to entertain your children that will minimize the impact on other passengers. You can teach your children to use the headsets or to accept that there will be no sound without them, you can take books or sticker books or quiet toys that they enjoy. . . you can find something that works. If you can't find any way to keep them entertained (or quiet, at any rate) without infringing on the other passengers then maybe you should wait to fly with them until they are more able to behave appropriately on the plane. That's not a slam against your kids, or even your parenting, but some kids just aren't ready for some activities as early as we might like. If it truly is an either/or situation as stated in the OP, then flying might not be the best choice for your family.

 

[bavaria]

Ok, I misread that - glad that you don't have a lap child because lap child + DVD player would have been just so uncomfortable for you and I was really worried about you!

 

[Macduffy]

I'm the OP

I have a plane bag packed with stickers, books, treats, pipe cleaners, a few small (no noise) toys. I have a 4 hour flight with a child in his own seat (not a lap baby). The truth of the matter is that my kids don't watch a lot of TV and when they do watch it it's a treat and it quiets them down because it's new and interesting.

I wasn't threatening to have my child cry if you didn't let him have his way (seriously people come on!? lighten UP) I was simply trying to add a little "humor" or anecdote to the post. The question of hearing him cry over the DVD was meant to be rhetorical. Again, my mistake. I'm terrified he's going to cry due to ear pain, fear or frustration and bother other passengers on the plane. I was TRYING to be considerate of others.

I wasn't asking for opinions and that was my fault for not writing the post correctly. I was meaning to ask if there were any formal rules or regulations regarding the use of headphones. If I wanted parenting advice I wouldn't be here trust me. I simply wanted to know if the use of headphones was required and thought the transportation board might have an answer. Instead I got this.

What can I say - you are all better parents then I (even if you don't have kids)

 

[Disneyadore]

I am very concerned about the future generation based on what I read here. It would appear that a number of parents are so focussed on their children to the exclusion of other members of society. I certainly was not raised that way, but I fear that we already see here the beginnings of this based on the number of people who expect things or want to break rules.

I understand that you value your children, most likely above all else, but you are part of a larger society (I mean that as a global 'thou' to clarify, before the OP thinks that I am singling her out) An airplane is a perfect example of how there are several elements of society - the old, the young, people with physical issues, people who are excited about holiday, people who are grieving, etc etc. To place your needs above everyone else's and not to consider them even when they are pointed out to you demonstrates a lack of respect and consideration.

Hear hear
And yes we raised our children and no we certainly would not like to hear a screaming child or DVD player for several hours.

 

[bavaria]

OP, you may not have flown before; if not, think of the last time you rode a bus, preferably not a city bus but a long distance bus. Now put all the seats very close together; 31 inches seat 'pitch' and 17 inches seat width, with three seats across.

You will be sitting extremely close to your neighbours. I realise that in North America you have the luxury of space, but in most of the rest of the world we do not, and thus we have to create a mental space when physical space does not exist.

It is the same on an airplane. That means that you don't intrude into other people's space because it can be too intimate. And flights are often more than an hour or two, not everyone is travelling for happy reasons, many people need to catch up on sleep, etc etc.

ANY behaviour which intrudes into that mental space is inconsiderate, whether it be no headphones, clipping your toenails, taking off your socks, wiping your nose on the seat cushion, talking too loudly, or anything which impacts others (yes, I regularly see all of those and worse)

If you haven't flown before, you may not have realised how inconsiderate it is to not wear headphones.

 

[crashbb]

If all you want are rules and regulations then:

NO you cannot play a DVD player (or anything else that makes noise) without headphones.

I must say that insulting everyone and calling them rude is an...interesting way of injecting humour.

ETA - I see that you've edited your reply. If you are honestly worried about ear pain, PLEASE do whatever you can to prevent it. Not because his crying will disturb others but ear pain can be horrifically painful. I had a lot of problems with ear pain as a child (and still do occasionally). And there were a couple of flight that I can recall that I was in tears by the time we landed (I was fine during the flight - it was landing). I was older than your son, so I could understand what was happening and it was just tears of pain, but I can still remember those bad flights.

I have found that Earplanes do work (I think that they make ones small enough for you son). The other things I resort to (i.e. drugs) are not suitable for a little guy. If he is old enough for lollipops, they can help (they force sucking/swallowing).

 

[PlutoPony]

.... I simply wanted to know if the use of headphones was required and thought the transportation board might have an answer. Instead I got this.

What can I say - you are all better parents then I (even if you don't have kids)

Do you feel like you got an answer?

BTW, a vast majority of the people on this thread DO have children and fly with them often, and I think were hoping that their experience could be of some help to you.

Have a nice trip

 

[Phil'sFrontier]

 

[TDC Nala]

Yes, the rules are that ear or headphones should be used.

 

[may_baby06]

This past trip I took our DVD player for my 3 year old and we didn't use headphones with it. Honestly when I stood up to use the bathroom, I couldn't even hear it so I wasn't worried about the people around me hearing it. I just keep it low enough that she can hear it. If your kids are right in front of it you shouldn't have a problem keeping it low. My sister was across the aisle and couldn't hear it and the people in front of us didn't say anything and they turned around a few times to talk to us a little.