DS's Wedding Apparently OFF!!! (Warning: long and rambling))

[Antonia]

My DS - some of you may remember a thread I posted about the bride's mother trying to control everything - well the wedding is apparently off. Bride's mother - not bride - calls it off and says bride is going to stay home with her and "ain't too old for a butt whooping." Will not allow DS to speak to bride on the phone. I think the bride is "grounded".
This woman is a redneck to the max and accused our family of KIDNAPPING her daughter and enticing her with fancy meals and trips and a dog. We just lived as we normally would have and included her in our normal goings on.
Bride's father died when bride was a child and has a relationship with her mother much like Bobby Bushay (sp?) and his mother in the movie The Waterboy.
I feel like our family is experiencing a live episode of Jerry Springer. Bride is not like her mother except for the unusual dynamics between them. DS and bride were going to rent from the mother until they decided it would be a mistake and they leased a townhouse. Bride holds two jobs and drives her own car. I think her mother has kidnapped her. All this happened the same day the engagement announcement hit the newspaper.
I have never heard nice things about bride's mother. Many people have said to me "You know she's crazy, don't you?" I never knew she was this crazy. Too much craziness to describe on this post. Please send prayers and pixie dust our way - especially for our DS - Joe. Sorry for the long and ranbling post, but I am nearly crazyover the whole situation.

 

[jfulcer]

Pay for your DS to elope.

 

[CBRorBust]

Yikes! That woman is nuts! I remember your last post about her! What a weirdo!

Pixie Dust to your son and his fiance. I hope they manage to work things out. Sounds to me the only way that is going to happen is if she puts her foot down and cuts the ties with her mother.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

WOW! They should just elope. When they come home throw them a reception/party and don't invite the MIL!

PD to you and your DS and his Fiancee!

 

[Antonia]

Anyone ever experienced a woman like this one? This would be DS's mother-in-law.
Don't know if he should elope or run like hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[CBRorBust]

honestly, I was going to post that maybe your son is better off. I'm sure they are both completely in love with one another otherwise they wouldn't be taking this huge step with each other.


BUT


Aren't the majority of arguments about family and money? Sounds to me like this involves both. Wasn't your last post about how she thought something was too expensive? I'd hate for your son to have to deal with this woman for the rest of her life!

 

[nativetxn]

What a painful situation for your son I'm sorry to hear this

 

[Octoberbride03]

WOW!!!

Don't know what to say about this 1 except that perhaps a ladder is in order for your son to spirit away the girl in the middle of the night.

I can say that Dh feels his mother acts along the same lines as this 1 which is why we live halfway across the country from her.

Best of luck

 

[Manda1219]

2 word...VEGAS BABY.
If they run off and have something small there, there's not much the mom can do. Then when they come home, they can have a proper ceremony...including the mother or not. Just an idea

 

[Claudia1]

Poor DS! Do you think they can live without her constat interference?

BTW, how old are they?

 

[PamOKW]

Originally posted by Claudia1
BTW, how old are they?

That's my question, too. Their age and/or maturity would have some bearing on how to handle the situation.

Wedding or not, I certainly hope the violent threat is just that and this girl doesn't really face getting beaten.

 

[my3kids]

I assume this girl is a grown woman. I don't think she would be locked in a house against her will, unable to make a call or leave. If she has chosen to live within her mother's unreasonable guidelines, then as painful as this is for him now, he is better off in the future without her. If she is an adult and is unwilling to go against her mother's wishes and is allowing herself to be so controlled, it isn't going to change.

 

[Megan's Mom]

If she is really being held againsst her will that is kidnapping and the police should be involved. Charges could be file on the mother. While she is in jail they could get married and live happily ever after, without the wicked MIL.

 

[Ranatra]

Originally posted by Antonia
I think the bride is "grounded"

I couldn't help it but this struck me as SO funny!
How OLD is this woman??
As the Mother of a bride to be, I have tried to stay out of the planning as much as possible. I have given help when asked but I try to let them do the planning. I am trying VERY hard to convey this to the groom's mother who IS very aggressive and opinionated. I just keep repeating "It's their decision" over and over and over in hopes that she'll get it!! The last I heard was her opinion on their honeymoon choice. When my DD mentioned this to me I said to her , It's YOUR honeymoom, you two do what YOU want to do.

I don't have any advice for you, but it sounds like this woman needs to stand up to her mother. Good Luck!!

 

[honeywolf7]

Megan's Mom said what I was going to say (although I think it's actually false imprisonment .)

 

[RitaZ.]

I remember your previous posts about this woman. It's time for the daughter to cut the cord. If the girl really loves your son and wants to be married to him, she needs to stand up to her mother and tell her to back off once and for all. Maybe this all happened for the best.

I hope it all works out for your DS.

 

[RUDisney]

I have a MIL similar to this. It has brought me to the realization that the only way I'd ever date another man is if his mother wasn't here anymore, or lived very far away. I love my DH and don't want anything to happen to him, but if it did, that would be part of my criteria. It's not fun... especially when your spouse has no backbone with his/her mother.

We hardly see her anymore and she won't come to our house, even when invited, so it's not as bad anymore. BUT, I can always tell when DH has been talking to his mother. He becomes very distance and miserable.

 

[UncleKyle]

Sorry to hear this. Hope your son is handling it well.

 

[MosMom]

Pay for your DS to elope.

I second that! My mom was the crazy one too so I knew I could never have a wedding with her involved so I eloped 2,000 miles away. For our 10th wedding anniversary we are going to have a "wedding" at WDW. DH's mom really missed the opportunity to see us married so this is our chance without the pressure of my crazy mother.

They can always get eloped and be legally married then have a nice ceremony later once her mother really can't interfere.

 

[Serena]

I'm with the people that thinks he may be better off. I'm sorry.

Now a question or two. Would the mother actually do something to prevent the daughter from leaving? Is she in danger? It may be a good idea to make sure she isn't.

And if she isn't, what is preventing her from just walking out that door?