DSIL is in a coma

[brittsmum1998]

Did she go? Does anyone know? I'm wondering how her husbands family is doing. Especially the poor children.

 

[Robindianne]

No words except I'm sorry.

 

[DebbieB]

Did she go? Does anyone know? I'm wondering how her husbands family is doing. Especially the poor children.

She posted on another thread that they arrived at Boardwalk Inn.

 

[kaffinito]

I am really in shock that you would consider going on a vacation when your sister in law is laying in the hospital, dead. Brain dead is dead, you don't get any more dead.

I truly cannot fathom even questioning if I should go on vacation when something like this has happened.

Perhaps if you knew or cared to ask about the circumstances you would understand a little bit better, eh?

My DH and his DSis were both born a few years apart (by different fathers) and were both given up fro adoption. DH has known his biological mother (NOT the person who raised him as a son) for about 12 years now. Understandably, they are not very close.

DSIL showed up in the "family" about 9 years ago, addicted to crack and heroin and begging for money. The only child she still had custody of was DN4 and only because he has CP. The other 4 children were taken away from her.

I have only been on the fringes of the family for 2 years. I hadn't even met DMIL before DH and I got married, since she is only a biological mother, not his "real" mother. DH and I are mostly outsiders to this family drama.

I just came across this, Karen. I am so very sorry for the ordeal your family is going through right now.

Thank you! Everyone in the family is handling the situation fairly well. DH and I did end up going on vacation, he really wanted to get away. His DSIL's death has put a pretty big pall on things. but at least we have had a lot of time to talk things out and figure out where he stands. He's mostly angry and does not want to get in DMIL's way right now. Thanks again for the support!

I have no opinion if you should cancel or go...that is your decision. I went to see family in NC the day before my SIL went into the hospital and offered to come home (DH was home, he didn't go to NC) but he insisted I stay, as it turned out, she lived til after I got home. Looking back now, I feel badly that my DH had to go thru that alone, but I am grateful I stayed in NC, as that would be the last time I would see my grandfather. Like I said, it's your decision. HUGS.

Thank you! We did go, and are doing a lot of talking to sort things out. The Medical Examiner is now saying that he suspects heroin, which is doubly sad that she would do such a thing a week after she got off of probation.

As an update, we have all decided to take turns with the "hard stuff" My DH and I are going to do all of the legal work associated with DSIL's death, and are going to get legal guardianship of DN4. His biological father can't take care of him, and no one else in the family can either. The only other option would be putting him in foster care, and right now that boy needs to be with family (such as it is).

The other DSIL is helping DMIL right now with mundane tasks, and she's going out of town the day we get back. DH's DB is absent from the scene, but there are a few other relatives that are floating around. The only ones who seem to be hit hard by this tragedy are DSIL's oldest boy, aged 19 and DMIL.

If this was a close family, then the amount and scope of the tragedy would probably be broader. But with the life that DSIL lead, a natural wall was between her and her family. No one could trust her, and she in turn was not trusting.

The sad part is that she felt that she had to get as high as she could, and that she did. She was taken off of life support yesterday afternoon and was gone within minutes. There will be no funeral, just a small family get together two weeks from Saturday. DSIL is to be cremated, after the cause of death has been established.

I do appreciate everyone's help and support and all of the comments I received. I realize that this was not the normal family crisis - I do know how to behave during one of those and just want to acknowledge the support.

 

[wilderness01]

I'm sorry you are going through this. That is wonderful you are willing to take in her child. Hang in there.

 

[laurie31]

Oh wow, now I understand. That's so wonderful that you're willing to care for the child. I wish you all the best.

 

[disneymarie]

I am truely sorry, this poor littlle girl and MIL.
If she is gone and not coming out of it, you need to treat it as a death, and make your decisions from there.
You need to be there if it is in your heart, let dh decide his liveable decision.

 

[kaffinito]

 

[Minnie&Nana]

Bless your hearts, Karen!!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I am so sorry to hear of all you have been dealt. Thank God your DN has you both.