DS16 got a job!! (but........)

[N.Bailey]

An employer is bound by state law and working him without a break is 100% illegal. Whether or not your child wishes to pursue action is another matter. While it is illegal, you can take it to the bank that he'll lose the job if he raises a fuss. If he doesn't raise a fuss, he'll not have a life.

Personally, I feel getting an education and having a little personal time (especially with a baby in the picture) is way more important at his age. If there was no option, that would be a different story, but it doesn't appear to be the case here. The education is what is going to give that child the greatest chance of a better future (at least financially speaking). His schooling is bound to suffer with a job like this, IMO.

 

[eliza61]

It's weird to me that state and federal laws vary so much.

Generally (and this is only generally) federal laws are a "default" in order to insure child protection. sort of like a back up plan, most business will be required to follow their state quidelines.
In NY & NJ there are extremely strict guidelines for minors especially in the restaurant business. This is to basically prevent fast food joints from abusing their main work force.

Op,
How will your son ever concentrate on his education? I have too many h.s juniors and seniors who's grades nose dive directly after they begin working. I know the small bit of cash looks good right now but 7 years from now without a good education whats the possiblity for moving up.

Can a compromise be worked out?

 

[goofyernmost]

Why do I get the feeling that we are getting our collective legs pulled.

 

[luvsJack]

The labor laws are the reason most adults or college age kids that get a job at McDonald's or the like complain about the 3 hour shifts being too short. Most of their employees are high school kids and that is what they can work so that is how the shifts are set up. (or at least that is the way fast food works here)

OP, I think, like a pp said, he should work a week this way and then go to the manager and tell him that he cannot work but 20 hours per week. By that time they will know his work habits and be a bit more likely to keep him than they would if he said something now.

There are lots of managers that just don't know the labor laws. If no one has ever told him and all they stressed was the being legal to work, then that is all that manager knows to worry about.


ETA: I am not as sure about the break laws. That is different by state too. We were surprised to find that it is not the law here. A lunch break may be required but not other breaks, at least in child care. Yhat may differ by types of jobs.

 

[Wonderlandmom]

he just called to tell me that he is scheduled to work everyday this week straight from school until at least 11:30pm.

A 16 yr old in FL can't drive past 11pm. That would be another broken law.

 

[happygirl]

A 16 yr old in FL can't drive past 11pm. That would be another broken law.

She said that she takes him and picks him up

 

[java]

If he is 16 and has a baby to care for I think he should work until he drops every night. I did. I was in his shoes at 16 and I tested out and got my GED and went to work. It was what needed to be done, be a big boy (not just in the bedroom) but in life.

I don't get it. You are more worried about him working late then you are about the care of a child? He's 16 why can't he drive himself to work ?

By the way my daughter is 23 and a college grad with a great job. Wouldn't have happened if I was home at 9:00 every night.

I guess what I'm saying is if he wants to act like a man he needs to be one. Sounds like he's trying .... let him.

I agree

 

[MizTink]

If he is 16 and has a baby to care for I think he should work until he drops every night. I did. I was in his shoes at 16 and I tested out and got my GED and went to work. It was what needed to be done, be a big boy (not just in the bedroom) but in life.
he is in a program at school that will allow him to get all his credits and graduate next year (1 year early). i won't let him drop out of school. the program he wants to go into after high school won't accept him under 18yrs old.
I don't get it. You are more worried about him working late then you are about the care of a child? He's 16 why can't he drive himself to work ?
the baby is well cared for. my son's job right now is to finish school. #1 priority for their future. i'm looking beyond the end of my nose and trying to teach him to do the same thing.
as far a driving himself to work....he doesn't have his license yet. and even if we go get it, he'll have his permit and won't be able to drive alone.

By the way my daughter is 23 and a college grad with a great job. Wouldn't have happened if I was home at 9:00 every night.

I guess what I'm saying is if he wants to act like a man he needs to be one. Sounds like he's trying .... let him.

An employer is bound by state law and working him without a break is 100% illegal. Whether or not your child wishes to pursue action is another matter. While it is illegal, you can take it to the bank that he'll lose the job if he raises a fuss. If he doesn't raise a fuss, he'll not have a life.
yeah, i'm the one complaining (here only), not him. i'm the one who knows that they are breaking laws!
plus, i'm his MOM!!!!

Personally, I feel getting an education and having a little personal time (especially with a baby in the picture) is way more important at his age. If there was no option, that would be a different story, but it doesn't appear to be the case here. The education is what is going to give that child the greatest chance of a better future (at least financially speaking). His schooling is bound to suffer with a job like this, IMO.

this is exactly my point

 

[MizTink]

ok, a few things changed when we talked last night after work.
he isn't working monday or thursday. the other days he will be closing alone so he won't be out before midnight. he was out at 11:45 lat night and there were 3 of them.
last night he worked 8hrs & 45min (no break). he's fine with that. they do get free food and drinks, so i guess that makes up for it to him! he would much rather have free shrimp and calamari than a 30 minute break!
he's the only 1 in the kitchen that speaks much english. he said when people asked him if he speaks english, they were surprised to hear that he speaks ONLY english!!!!!
he's hoping to be moved out to bus tables soon. we'll have to see how it goes. as long as he can keep up with school and the baby i will stay out of it. he would like to bus tables, and hopefully be a server soon. it would be much better, but will take time.

 

[PatsGirl]

Good luck to your son. Sounds like he is taking the first step forward to becoming a responsible young adult and Dad We as a society could only wish more young men and women took the initiative to care for their own rather than working the system.

 

[DMickey28]

My experience with the restaurant business and dishwashers is that your DS's schedule is completely normal! We had the same dishwashers M-F basically ... they came in around 3 and stayed until close. They did all the cleaning at the end of the night minus the actual kitchen equipment and the dinning room. They also did not take breaks during the rush but had some down time before/after the rush and could take a break after that if wanted. Most didn't because it meant that they were there longer because they had the grunt of the dirty work of cleaning the kitchen ... They also had all the food they wanted. However, we rarely had kids working ... usually we had special needs adults. This was in a large upper scale chain restaurant.

 

[Jennasis]

FWIW, my cousin did the same thing. Started as a dishwasher, worked like a dog, long hours, no breaks, eventually moved up to bussing tables, then waiting tables, then assistant manager, and now he is the manager of a well known restauarant chain and makes good money. All while managing to graduate and take care of his baby.

Let him do what he needs to do here. He's trying to be a man. let him.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

If he is 16 and has a baby to care for I think he should work until he drops every night. I did. I was in his shoes at 16 and I tested out and got my GED and went to work. It was what needed to be done, be a big boy (not just in the bedroom) but in life.

I don't get it. You are more worried about him working late then you are about the care of a child? He's 16 why can't he drive himself to work ?

By the way my daughter is 23 and a college grad with a great job. Wouldn't have happened if I was home at 9:00 every night.

I guess what I'm saying is if he wants to act like a man he needs to be one. Sounds like he's trying .... let him.

ITA. He needs to be responsible. He certainly doesn't need mama calling his boss and fighting his battles.

 

[lillygator]

ITA. He needs to be responsible. He certainly doesn't need mama calling his boss and fighting his battles.

why are you driving him to and from work?

 

[DizBelle]

While I understand the point of "he manned up in the bedroom and now he needs to man up in life and take care of his responsibilities", I think this is missing the perspective on his long term outlook. If he works like a dog now and school suffers and he possibly doesn't graduate, that will affect his long term outlook for being able to provide for his family.

If he sacrifices his life and education now, he really diminishes his ability to do better later. It seems like, in the long term, it would be wiser for him to focus on his education now so he can get to a better place a lot sooner.

Now, this pretty much only applies if he was going to go to college. Is going to college part of his plan? Or is it just get out of high school and get to work?

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

It does sound like a tough schedule, but it also sounds like he's hard-working and being mature. I would stay out of it. He's a father who is trying to provide for his child--you must have done something right, Mom! Every day we have threads about dads not doing right by their children. How much easier would it be, if your son chose that route!

Now, if his grades start slipping, you have the right to speak up on that issue.

 

[Luv2Scrap]

While I understand the point of "he manned up in the bedroom and now he needs to man up in life and take care of his responsibilities", I think this is missing the perspective on his long term outlook. If he works like a dog now and school suffers and he possibly doesn't graduate, that will affect his long term outlook for being able to provide for his family.

If he sacrifices his life and education now, he really diminishes his ability to do better later. It seems like, in the long term, it would be wiser for him to focus on his education now so he can get to a better place a lot sooner.

Now, this pretty much only applies if he was going to go to college. Is going to college part of his plan? Or is it just get out of high school and get to work?

I agree with this 100%. At this age, he may feel like he's making plenty of money once those checks start rolling in. If he can't handle the schedule and something has to give, it's very likely that he may choose to give up school and work this "great" job he's got, not realizing that he has likely just doomed himself and his new child to a lifetime of low income living.

 

[eliza61]

My experience with the restaurant business and dishwashers is that your DS's schedule is completely normal! We had the same dishwashers M-F basically ... they came in around 3 and stayed until close. They did all the cleaning at the end of the night minus the actual kitchen equipment and the dinning room. They also did not take breaks during the rush but had some down time before/after the rush and could take a break after that if wanted. Most didn't because it meant that they were there longer because they had the grunt of the dirty work of cleaning the kitchen ... They also had all the food they wanted. However, we rarely had kids working ... usually we had special needs adults. This was in a large upper scale chain restaurant.

I think that's the difference. My families restaurant (NYC) had teenagers as bus boys and dishwashers but they were outta there by 10:30-11:00 pm. NYS has serious regulations regarding kids still in high school (a lot stricter than hiring illegals) and the number of hours a week they work. On school nights we generally gave the 4-5 hour shifts (4-9) that covered the heavy dinner hours. It was a family owned soul food restaurant so plenty of times an uncle did the 1:00 pm dishes. No way were we having a minor in a restaurant that sold liquor at midnight especially on a school night.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

he is sooooooo excited to have a job! he was really feeling down about not having his own money and not being able to provide anything for his baby (6 months old). i tried to tell him that i want his focus just to be SCHOOL and his relationship with his GF and the baby. but you know how pride is!
well, he really wanted a job, and has been trying hard to find 1 for about 7 or 8 months. he finally got hired at a really nice restaurant as a dishwasher for $8.50/hr. he applied friday, was hired on the spot, and started today.
here's the problem though......he just called to tell me that he is scheduled to work everyday this week straight from school until at least 11:30pm. he gets out of school at 2:15 and will start work at 3. he also said they get free food, but no real breaks. HELLO.......he's only 16 AND still in school. what are they thinking??????? what about labor laws? i don't now how he'll ever leave for school at 6:30am when he won't even get home until about midnight EVERY night.
i don't want him to lose his job, but this just isn't right. funny thing is, the manager wanted to make sure he was legal to work, but now doesn't care about the child labor laws?

You know your son is not in a normal teen situation so I think he is going to have to make it work.

I would at least give him the benefit of the doubt to at least make a go of it. Is it going to be hard balancing school/work? You bet. However that is his life forever now.

I would at least tell him that if his grades drop he has to quit work and that getting his HS diploma should be top priority.

 

[solotraveler]

FWIW, my cousin did the same thing. Started as a dishwasher, worked like a dog, long hours, no breaks, eventually moved up to bussing tables, then waiting tables, then assistant manager, and now he is the manager of a well known restauarant chain and makes good money. All while managing to graduate and take care of his baby.

Let him do what he needs to do here. He's trying to be a man. let him.

The restaurant industry, while being very VERY hard work can be a good career prospect. If he can tough it out and make it work for now, he could work his way up to working out on the floor (which, if it's an upscale place can be VERY lucrative) or get on the line cooking (if he should have any interest in a culinary career).