DS15 Moping about our upcoming trip

[winniethepoohsmom]

We are headed to disney next month and today ds15 he does'nt want to go to disney. I don't know if he's just in a mood, or just his teenage thing where he wants to hang out with his friends all the time. I figured this is probably his last disney trip, our ds17 is autistic and disney is his favorite thing so we will probably take him back some time. I always make sure we do things ds15 enjoys as well and I discuss restaurant ressies with him and he helps pick them out. Today I told him if he wants we can do just one day at disney (MK) since that's his brothers favorite park and we can do universal and a day at the beach the rest of the time and his answer was "whatever". I told him if he does'nt want to go we find someone he can stay with for the week. I feel like we should just take him with us and once he's there doing the things he likes to do he'll enjoy it. I knew when he go older he would'nt want to take family trips so much anymore but I was'nt planning for it yet. We don't have the extra money to take a friend along and I'm not going to change our hotel ressies around after we are past the 45 days out to get a room to suit 5 people. I'm wondering if I should give him the choice of staying back the day we do MK, we come back mid-day for a swim. We've never left him alone at the hotel and I feel a little unsure about it, if he left the room you never know who could take some interest in seeing a teenager on their own. Linda

 

[disneymomof2boyz]

Yeah, this is a tough one...I'm not in your shoes, as my kids are much younger than 15. But if it were me, I would probably "make" him go.

I remember being a teenager, and I know that there were plenty of times that I didn't want to go on family vacations, but my parents made me. And I am now happy they did. They are memories that last forever, and in the end we all had a good time as a family, even me.

Good luck!

 

[winniethepoohsmom]

Yeah, this is a tough one...I'm not in your shoes, as my kids are much younger than 15. But if it were me, I would probably "make" him go.

I remember being a teenager, and I know that there were plenty of times that I didn't want to go on family vacations, but my parents made me. And I am now happy they did. They are memories that last forever, and in the end we all had a good time as a family, even me.

Good luck!

Thanks, I remember those trips as a teenager. I know he's losing interest in disney but we do have two children to consider and we do things that he likes that his brother is'nt crazy about and sometimes split up so he & I or ds15 and dh can do things he likes while the other takes ds17 to do what he likes and we are planning on doing something else next year. He also had gone with me a couple of weeks ago to my sisters house in cape cod for 4 days and went the beach and tubing and mini golf with his cousins. Linda

 

[motocrossmom]

I am in the same boat! DS15 doesnt want to go to Disney in Jan (still trying to talk DH into it) I told him we would have to talk about it. We went on a "family vacation" this April & he didnt want to go because he would miss football so I let him stay with Grandma then. He is an awesome kid and his younger brother really missed him while we were on vacation so I am not sure if I will "make" him go in january or not....

 

[srwarden1928]

At 15 I wouldnt blame him for not wanting to go during school time. Its really hard, sometimes impossible, to make everything up in high school. I have seen it happen as a teacher. I also had a student who stood up to his mom who wanted him to SKIP SCHOOL. He ended up completely on his own before he finished high school. He is now in college in a pre-med program. I am proud of him.

 

[minkydog]

Ack! I have been in your shoes. the last time we forced DS to go to WDW with us he was 15--what a pain in the butt! He was a wet blanket at every turn. I swore I would never take him on vacation again. finally I got so fed up with him I told him to get on the bus and go back to the hotel. His dad gave him some money and DS spent the day watching TV, swimming in the pool, and eating pizza. He still says this was the best vacation he ever had. Go figure

I can't tell you what to do, but just know that they do outgrow this phase in their 20s, when they realize how much it costs to go on vacation.

 

[Chelley00]

We had the same issue with DS15. We are actually flying him in and out over his fall break so that he doesn't miss school, but he just kept saying he didn't want to go to Disney again because it was for babies. Anyhow, we compromised and are going to do 2-3 days at Universal while he is with us, and just take the younger ones to WDW.

 

[saratogadreamin09]

when i was gowing up the only place m family went on vacation was disney, no matter how old i got(or get) i will always love disney and i will always love going their. but i always was told by kids that i was a baby because i loved disney so much.


some kids just dont love it as much as others and thats ok but i think you should make your son go. he'll enjoy it once you get their, i dont think their's any reason to adjust your plans

 

[java]

Family trip- he goes. Period end of story.

(want to know what I did when my mom left me home when she went on a trip= I don't think you do.)

My son is 14 and we just got back. He took his cell phone and texted much more than I would have liked- but about halfway through the trip he turned it off and go into the disney spirit.

 

[rie'smom]

Our 32 uo DS took his last Disney trip at 12.
Our 24 yo DS was 10 but then went back lsat year.
DD 14 still loves it. As long as she has a friend and thrill rides, she's happy.

 

[ldo]

what about letting him go to Disney Quest? Assuming he is mature enough, what if you gave him a cell phone, took him over to DQ (or let him take the WDW bus) and then met him at a designated time? Same for WAterpark, assuming he is a good swimmer?
I would not have any issue with a 15 yr old staying at onsite WDW hotel and using pools/game room for the time that I was at the parks for one day--esp. with cell phone and check-in every couple of hours.
We are arriving at that age soon--I agree, have him go with you---tell him that this might be the last big family WDW trip and that if he puts in a good effort, he can stay home next time.

 

[pigletto]

Oh..
Huge hugs... I know that must be disappointing.
I went to Italy for a summer with an Aunt and Uncle when I was 13.
The day we were supposed to go into Florence and see the David I decided I wanted to sleep in and listen to my tapes instead
Tell me I don't want to kick myself now

I think at 15 he is o.k. to stay in the room if he wants.. but don't blame yourself. Teenagers can be weird

 

[DevilDuckie]

Okay, your kids, your rules, but here's what I'd do:

Offer him the option of spending his time at the resort pool if he doesn't want to do the parks. Fifteen is old enough to be safe at the hotel. I'd even let him sleep in and meet you at the parks later in the day. Let him have some alone time if that's what he really wants in a vacation. Request that he spend one day with his brother and family in MK but if he'd rather watch tv or girls by the pool for the remainder of the trip, let him. He can meet you for meals if you want but it sounds like he's in a mood.

I would imagine that when you get there he will probably have a change of heart but if he doesn't try to respect his solitude. The worst thing I remember about being a teenager is that people would not just go away when you wanted them to.

 

[winniethepoohsmom]

I am in the same boat! DS15 doesnt want to go to Disney in Jan (still trying to talk DH into it) I told him we would have to talk about it. We went on a "family vacation" this April & he didnt want to go because he would miss football so I let him stay with Grandma then. He is an awesome kid and his younger brother really missed him while we were on vacation so I am not sure if I will "make" him go in january or not....

I know what you mean about the football, ds will miss a weeks practice and might not get much playing time in on their first game when we come back, but we went away the same time last year and it worked out okay. Life gets so busy at times its nice to have these trips to spend time together. I know as ds15 goes off to college and gets a job he'll be vacationing with friends, in 2 more years he'll have his license and a job and we probably won't see him much so that only gives maybe this year and next year. Linda

 

[winniethepoohsmom]

At 15 I wouldnt blame him for not wanting to go during school time. Its really hard, sometimes impossible, to make everything up in high school. I have seen it happen as a teacher. I also had a student who stood up to his mom who wanted him to SKIP SCHOOL. He ended up completely on his own before he finished high school. He is now in college in a pre-med program. I am proud of him.

DS15 won't be missing any school we don't go back until Sept. 4th. When he was younger we took some time off school to go to disney, but now that he's in high school theres too much work to make up so we would'nt do that. Linda

 

[Aliceacc]

Sorry, I missed the OP's last post. I was going to say that in NY at least, most schools don't start until September, so there's no reason to assume he would miss school.

 

[disneybridetobe]

I'd "make" him go.

He'd probably have fun, and I'm betting this is just a moody teenager thing where he thinks a week away from his friends is the end of the world, or this hid friends will think he's a "baby" for going to Disney. He'll probably talk to a cute girl or two at the pool or park, and all will be well with the world.