DS worried about CMs not "being nice" on chat

[DeeSee]

I think I am just looking for some reassurance here. Our 30-day date for registering for DAS is approaching. The DAS is for my son (age 10), who has always seemed to embrace his disability, thrives in school and social life, and is well-loved and celebrated by his peers. To my knowledge, he has never encountered anybody being unkind to him because of his disability (which includes some visible exceptionalities, such as characteristic facial features and voice/speech challenges).
I have explained the video chat process to him and he seemed comfortable with it. Yesterday he asked me "are the workers on the video chat going to be nice to me though? Sometimes people can be not nice to people when they have a disability." I talked through it with him and it doesn't seem to come from any past experiences he's had. But seems more related to the fact that this experience of having to explain why he actually is different from other folks is new to him... My heart hurts a little and I'm suddenly concerned about how he will perceive the interaction with the CM online. For example, maybe he will perceive the CM asking questions as challenging his need, or he will feel embarrassed by describing (or hearing me describe) the problems he has with waiting in line.
So I guess my question is really the same as his! Will they be nice?? I am hearing some stories of CMs being rude or dismissive. Is this a common occurrence, and how is it the same or different when dealing with children vs. adults? Thanks for listening.

 

[Princesca]

I would think the likelihood of a CM being unkind to a disabled child is pretty slim, and if it is, I'd hang up on them and re-enter the queue. (But also that would suck.)

ETA: And I would also raise all holy hell with Disney if this happened to my child.

 

[redberyl]

Your son doesn't need to be there for the chat. You can do the chat and answer all the questions, then at the very end call him in for a second to take the picture. Most are very nice, but yeah I've heard some stories about ones that werent

 

[Donald - my hero]

He doesn't need to tell them why he's different or to explain his disability, all they want to know is why can't he use the regular line? If he wants to be there for the whole chat and not just for his picture why don't you try a little roll playing? Get him to tell you why he can't stand in a line. Doesn't need to dwell on any of his actual diagnosis or labels, just simple direct answer "standing in a line is hard for me because ...."
you mentioned that he handles his limitations well in daily life, just tell him that this isn't any different. Disney has things in place to help him enjoy himself in spite of his differences

 

[lanejudy]

seems more related to the fact that this experience of having to explain why he actually is different from other folks is new to him

Great job getting him involved in advocating for himself! It is a skill that he will need at various points along life's journey. Try suggesting he look at it as explaining what he needs for support rather than explaining why he is different. Also that questions do not necessarily mean challenging him or "being mean" but rather clarifying. And of course you'll be with him to help.

 

[SueM in MN]

He doesn't need to tell them why he's different or to explain his disability, all they want to know is why can't he use the regular line? If he wants to be there for the whole chat and not just for his picture why don't you try a little roll playing? Get him to tell you why he can't stand in a line. Doesn't need to dwell on any of his actual diagnosis or labels, just simple direct answer "standing in a line is hard for me because ...."
you mentioned that he handles his limitations well in daily life, just tell him that this isn't any different. Disney has things in place to help him enjoy himself in spite of his differences

Great job getting him involved in advocating for himself! It is a skill that he will need at various points along life's journey. Try suggesting he look at it as explaining what he needs for support rather than explaining why he is different. Also that questions do not necessarily mean challenging him or "being mean" but rather clarifying. And of course you'll be with him to help.

I wholeheartedly agree with both of these.
The accommodation provided by DAS is ability to wait outside of the regular lines. So, whatever is discussed should relate to why waiting in line is difficult for him.

The question most people are asked when registering for DAS is something like:
- what are your concerns with waiting in the regular lines?

The CMs DO frequently ask follow-up or clarification questions. As lanejudy mentioned, clarification doesn’t necessarily equal challenging or being mean.

 

[ttintagel]

Ever single story I've ever heard (or experienced myself) of a CM being anything less than extremely kind and helpful over DAS or any other accommodation has been when the person with disabilities was an adult. I have never heard of a CM being unpleasant when it's a child.

 

[WDWJonasGirl]

I'm an adult who uses the DAS. The CM's I've had on my video chats were awesome. If you have any dining reservations, they can even try to work around your reservations for your advance rides. My parents usually explain to the CM's why I can't wait for long periods of time and what could happen after a certain amount of time when I can't take it anymore. Your DS will need to be there to take the photo like everyone said. You can even ask him before your chat about rides he wants to do each day you want to be there

 

[DisRoss]

I think the worst you may encounter is the CM simply being objective, which when you’re expecting or hoping for empathy, may sound or feel unkind. We just did advanced registration yesterday for an upcoming trip and I might describe the CM we spoke to as objective. But it was also quick, non-judgemental, and clear as to it being approved and what was happening next to get to preselections.

 

[gap2368]

All Cm I have had have been very nice to me. I think the worst that can happen is they say no to the DAS pass, if they do you can try again.

or you can do it your self have your son wait outside the room and bring him in just for the picture

 

[voxparse]

Having grown up with a disability myself that is visibly obvious I'm going to suggest something slightly different from others. Have him there and if the CM is unkind, that is a teaching moment. If he hasn't already experienced people being unkind he is a very lucky 10 year old but it is important to build up that thick skin. Going through life with a disability is tough work and he'll be better for it. Be there to support him, help him learn, help him understand the situation but I wouldn't try to shield him too much. It won't be long before he is a teenager and those coping skills will be crucial.