DS punched DD in the back and won't apologize

[BWVDenise]

So now what? This has never happened before (the refusal to apologize). We have discussed it, he agrees that what he did was wrong. He says he is going to say he is sorry but he doesn't feel like doing it right now. So he is sitting in his room. He came down once asking if he would get lunch and I told him to go apologize and then tell me what he would like to eat. He chose to go back to his room. I don't know where to go from here...

He is almost 9 and she is 6.

 

[kdibattista]

I would definitely leave him in his room til he apologizes.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd take any fun things out of his room(ie-gameboy,TV, computer etc)if there are any in there, and then let him stew.

Don't give in, because you'll be giving in for the rest of your life. He won't starve.

 

[Trib]

spare the rod...spoil the child

 

[vald1977]

I'd have him stay in his room until he decides he's ready to apoligize. It may be a more genuine apology when he does decide he is ready than if he just says it to get out of the room.

 

[damo]

gotta agree with the others. One of the most important things for parents is to make sure you are committed to your punishments. Once you give in, you're toast (unless, of course, you were being absolutely unreasonable, which in this case you're not)

 

[Tinkbell]

Looks like he chose to stay in his room until he is ready. Let him cool off. When he comes out, he'll probably apologize. Don't force the issue. It's better to have him apologize on his own terms, then he really means it. I always hated getting "forced" apologies when I was a kid.

If he does not apologize when he comes out and you have consequences for him, they should be for the actual punching of his sister, not for the lack of an apology.

 

[BWVDenise]

He finally gave in and did it. He will also have to read a story to her as part of the original punishment I got that idea from a parenting magazine and thought that it might just work to remind him not to get physical next time.

 

[Itsanalias]

When one of my kids (6 and 4) do this, they're in their room, sitting in the middle of their bed and not allowed to get up until they're ready to apologize. If they don't apologize, they don't get up.....it's that simple. Punishment and discipline are very necessary in raising respectful children. IMO, parents today don't do it enough. Too many people are worried about being their kids' friend. Your kids will have other friends, they'll never have other parents.

 

[Tinkbell]

Glad to hear it's over! I like your idea about reading his sister a story. Might even bring them closer together.

 

[Pooh93]

Did he apologize?? Good for you for standing your ground.

 

[Mjasp]

Then what do you do when they say i'm NOT staying in my room and sitting on my bed? Or when they down right come out and tell you NO.

 

[christineann]

look him in the eye and say "do it"

no choice, no explanation necessary - after all, it was not a question, was it?