DS 18 is not getting a graduation party. UPDATE; somewhere on Page 10

[maxiesmom]

I'm suprised that there are people who don't throw parties. Around here everyone has a big party! Must be another of those things that depends on where you live. Which makes for interesting discussion on an internet site!

 

[rayelias]

For various reasons, some people aren't "school" people.

Unless I misunderstood your original post, it seems that, although he wasn't the best student, he did the right thing, hunkered down, and did what he had to do (summer school, college credits) in order to graduate. If that's the case... good for him.

For the most part, school came very easy to me. IMHO, someone who actually had to WORK at graduating deserves a party more than someone who coasted through.

Whatever choice you make, I'm sure it will be the best one for you and your family.

 

[RobinMarie]

WoW! That NEVER occurred to me! That I am too lazy to give a party? That wasn't even part of the equation. We are typically not party'ers. That doesn't mean we are too lazy or too cheap to give a party. That's a new spin if I ever saw one. With regard to being treated unfairly, I certainly welcomed diverse opinions on this subject and was quite open to them. It was the snide comments, "too lazy to hang soem decorations and cook some food, that's pitiful" for example that I considered cheap shots.

Actually, that was my thought yesterday when I was reading as well. It did not seem like you wanted to give a party, though a dinner out was not out of the question - and since you were taking a family vacation to Hawaii, it should all be good.

 

[damo]

I must have misunderstood as well. I assumed that since there was a thread to state that there wouldn't be a party, it meant that there normally would be a party and not having one was a big deal.

 

[LukenDC]

I must have misunderstood as well. I assumed that since there was a thread to state that there wouldn't be a party, it meant that there normally would be a party and not having one was a big deal.

The title of the thread and the OP led me to understand that a party was being withheld to punish the graduate.

 

[AC7179]

I wouldn't withold the party as a punishment, but I also wouldn't go all out and have an expensive bash.

He's graduation does deserveto be celebrated, but I think that as a family, it is choice as to how to celebrate it.

 

[LuvDuke]

Apparently, Dawn doesn't save it just for us.

 

[TDC Nala]

Am I reading this wrong? The kid wants a blowout party with his buds and Mom is saying, heck no, you didn't work hard enough for that, but the family will celebrate with you. I guess she doesn't define a family cookout or whatever as a party.

How does that translate to all of the chastising her for not celebrating? Or should they just throw him a big party because all his friends are having parties?

The money thing is scaring me...the parents of one of my nephew's friends gave my nephew a $20 bill for his first communion...that's more than I was going to give him and I'm his aunt fer godsake. I had to give him a $20 bill, too.

 

[disykat]

Am I reading this wrong? The kid wants a blowout party with his buds and Mom is saying, heck no, you didn't work hard enough for that, but the family will celebrate with you. I guess she doesn't define a family cookout or whatever as a party.

How does that translate to all of the chastising her for not celebrating? Or should they just throw him a big party because all his friends are having parties?

That's the way I read it too. I think some people are just too busy having fun at Dawn's expense to think about anything else. Fortunately, Dawn seems to be keeping her sense of humor and taking the less nasty opinions into account, as well as recognizing that there are many here who support her stance. (Yet, somehow people see her taking their opinions into account as yet another reason to criticize her!)

I actually would have taken a harder line than she did. She's moved into the "we'll plan a little family celebration later" camp, while I would have remained firmly in the "you didn't know you were graduating until 3 days before so how in the heck could you expect a party" camp.

 

[Quinn222]

I agree this should have been presented in the OP. The problem was presented in such a way that it sounded like her son would have been given a party had he been as successful in school as his brothers.

I also missed where he was asking for a kegger, but I could only handling skimming this thread.

Exactly. The story only changed when it was pointed out how mean spirited she seemed. Had she just said that they don't normally throw parties and that none of her other kids had parties and they were taking him out to dinner then there would have been no issue and no need to even post. The OP was worded in such a way that the kid wasn't getting a party because she thought he didn't deserve one.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Exactly. The story only changed when it was pointed out how mean spirited she seemed. Had she just said that they don't normally throw parties and that none of her other kids had parties and they were taking him out to dinner then there would have been no issue and no need to even post. The OP was worded in such a way that the kid wasn't getting a party because she thought he didn't deserve one

exactly. I don't bash Dawn. I usually agree with her tough parent conservative stance. I am sure she was upset and that's why alot was left out in the op. If none of your kids have parties and you were going to do something just with family, and you might be willing to let your son throw his own party there is no discussion. There's nothing unfair here. In the beginning it was about a son who didn't do very well in school who she had no desire to celebrate with. I don't think it was said that she didn't know he would graduate until three days before either.
I still say if he wants a party with his friends and extended family and wants to help pay for it help him to do it. I had the same problem with my son. Kids like this tend to act tough or like they don't care. I know my son breathed a sigh of relief when he found out three days before he was graduating. He had been acting like he didn't care but he was such a different person when he found out he was graduating. You could almost see the weight off his shoulders.
Hang in there Dawn. You will have further battles ahead. I'd like to say kids like this suddenly become responsible and ace community college. The first year with my son was up and down. I can see a huge improvement a year later but he's still not where I think he should be or alot of kids are for his age. With my son it's alot of immaturity. In retrospect I should have held him back as a twin with a late August birthday. It's almost as though I can see him passing through stages exactly a year later then most kids in his grade level.

 

[disykat]

Exactly. The story only changed when it was pointed out how mean spirited she seemed. Had she just said that they don't normally throw parties and that none of her other kids had parties and they were taking him out to dinner then there would have been no issue and no need to even post. The OP was worded in such a way that the kid wasn't getting a party because she thought he didn't deserve one.

That IS one of the reasons her child isn't getting a party - she hasn't denied that and her story hasn't changed. Her child wanted a party, he isn't getting one. Just because she gave more details in later posts doesn't mean the story has changed.

I suppose it would be interesting to start tracking the posts of all the people that are being so creepy on this thread to see if their original posts always flesh out every detail.

 

[Caradana]

What are your other three sons saying about this? (assuming that you haven't totally alienated them too)

 

[DawnCt1]

What are your other three sons saying about this? (assuming that you haven't totally alienated them too)

They have moved out of the house of course, leaving no forwarding address. Because we are so mean spirited we wouldn't even let them take the tent that they have been forced to live in. I charged them for it. I did give them a discount because the mosquito netting had huge holes in it. I also let them take the old citronella torches, you know the ones I was going to through in the trash for mosquito protection. It saved me a trip to the dump. We have been on the outs since I switched from Charmin to generic toilet paper. The worst part is yet to come. When they fly to Hawaii with us, ( I suspect they will be speaking to us by then) they will be sitting in coach class. DH and I will be in first. That really is abusive. I am not sure they give you a full can of soda in coach. They may have to wait until the flight attendant makes another round! 18 days in Hawaii is going to be tough for them. One of our accommodations has no air conditioning. They will really be roughing for 5 of those nights on Kauai. Oh well. In reality??? They didn't think he deserved a party at all. They work hard and they think he is lazy and that I should have made him repeat his senior year rather than pay his college tuition to pass high school.

 

[momrek06]

They have moved out of the house of course, leaving no forwarding address. Because we are so mean spirited we wouldn't even let them take the tent that they have been forced to live in. I charged them for it. I did give them a discount because the mosquito netting had huge holes in it. I also let them take the old citronella torches, you know the ones I was going to through in the trash for mosquito protection. It saved me a trip to the dump. We have been on the outs since I switched from Charmin to generic toilet paper. The worst part is yet to come. When they fly to Hawaii with us, ( I suspect they will be speaking to us by then) they will be sitting in coach class. DH and I will be in first. That really is abusive. I am not sure they give you a full can of soda in coach. They may have to wait until the flight attendant makes another round! 18 days in Hawaii is going to be tough for them. One of our accommodations has no air conditioning. They will really be roughing for 5 of those nights on Kauai..

DAWN: !!!

You are hysterical!!!! !!!

At the very least, you can see-through all the bashing!!!

 

[jipsy]

Apparently, Dawn doesn't save it just for us.

They have moved out of the house of course, leaving no forwarding address. Because we are so mean spirited we wouldn't even let them take the tent that they have been forced to live in. I charged them for it. I did give them a discount because the mosquito netting had huge holes in it. I also let them take the old citronella torches, you know the ones I was going to through in the trash for mosquito protection. It saved me a trip to the dump. We have been on the outs since I switched from Charmin to generic toilet paper. The worst part is yet to come. When they fly to Hawaii with us, ( I suspect they will be speaking to us by then) they will be sitting in coach class. DH and I will be in first. That really is abusive. I am not sure they give you a full can of soda in coach. They may have to wait until the flight attendant makes another round! 18 days in Hawaii is going to be tough for them. One of our accommodations has no air conditioning. They will really be roughing for 5 of those nights on Kauai. Oh well. In reality??? They didn't think he deserved a party at all. They work hard and they think he is lazy and that I should have made him repeat his senior year rather than pay his college tuition to pass high school.

Maybe not, but her reply was pretty damn funny.

ahh Dawn you kill me. And to the poster who asked if I got up on the wrong side of the bed, the answer is no. Actually, it may surprise you but there have been several times I have agreed with Dawn on many subjects. I just found it funny that so many people were so up in arms about her not throwing him a party and I never saw anyone ask her what her son's idea of a party was vs. what her idea of a party was. People just either agreed or bashed the hell out of her. Which makes for good which is what Dawn seems to like to create. I never said there was anything wrong with that.

Hi Dawn :

 

[DawnCt1]

DAWN: !!!

You are hysterical!!!! !!!

At the very least, you can see-through all the bashing!!!

We are all going out to dinner tonight because its Father's Day. Four of them will have to share an order of fried calamari. I figure they will each get the a baby octopus looking thing and a couple of tenticles. DH and I will eat the lobster in front of them. We try not to spoil them. Just kidding. I figure I had better add that disclaimer or we will be starting another thread about Dawn's poor abused children.

 

[DawnCt1]

Hi Dawn :

Hi Jipsy!

 

[Lanshark]

Let's be honest. On the DIS certain posters illicit certain responses. Dawn is one of those posters. If she had posted the same thread under an alias the responses would probably have been much different.

You always seems to have a bunch that will support even the most extraordinarily bizarre actions (this has nothing to do with you Dawn) then you have the other bunch that are willing to pick your eyeballs out for the most minor thing.

This is the way of the DIS....

Sometimes you get the pixie dust and other times you get the pixie poop

 

[jipsy]

This is the way of the DIS....

Exactly.