Drinking while pregnant

[chi_girl]

I assume this topic will get a lot of attention, and probably a lot of flaming, but I feel it is an interesting topic.

I was raised by European Parents (dad is French, mom is Swiss). Although I was born in the US, I spent what I consider my formative years (11-18) at boarding school in Switzerland. I was raised believing it is OK to moderately drink while pregnant. My mom drank wine while pregnant and had 7 healthy kids. My Dhs mom drank beer/wine while pregnant (She is British) and had 9 healthy kids. All 16 kids could be considered rather healthy. In much of Europe, drinking lightly while pregnant is not seen as wrong. It is normal behavior. I drank lightly while pregnant with DDs. Nothing considerable. A small glass of wine, every couple of weeks, never hard alcohol.

Well, tonight I was getting dinner with my DDs (2 and 4) and a friend. I am visible pregnant (about 33 weeks, if my new due date is correct). My friend ordered a half-bottle of wine. When I asked for a glass (really to just taste the wine, as I have been brainwashed by America), the waitress refused, saying she wouldn’t be responsible for the ‘death’ of my baby. I was shocked. My friend wanted to leave, but my DDs were already enjoying their meals, and I didn’t feel like disrupting their meal.

What do you think? I am angry that a waitress felt she could control my life by telling me what to do/not do.

 

[vivilasvegas]

The waitress should have shut her mouth, and I wouldn't have left her a tip.

One glass of wine in your 33rd week should be fine. Even a glass every couple weeks throughout would have been fine.

Man, the more I think about that, the more steamed I get!!! I would have said a few "nice" things to that waitress!!

 

[simba928]

I would be angry too. You are an adult capable of making your own hopefully mature decisions. Whether you have a glass of wine or not with dinner is your decision. I could see refusing after several glasses of wine, but to refuse to give you one glass of wine, thats ridiculous. I would have complained to the manager.

 

[Miller1412]

That is ridiculous. By week 33, parts of the baby that could be affected by alcohol will be primarily developed. Certainly, a glass of wine is not going to kill your baby. At the end of my pregnancies, my ob actually told me to relax and have a glass of wine.

 

[dcgrumpy]

I would have been furious too. A glass of wine now and then is fine.

 

[Pop Daddy]

If I found out I was pregnant, I would go get smashed

 

[jfulcer]

Ditto what the others said, DW would have been offended and asked to speak to the manager. Besides, what would have stopped you from chugging from the bottle?

DW's OB said a drink every now and then wouldn't be a big deal.

 

[jfulcer]

If I found out I was pregnant, I would go get smashed

Hey, if Arnold did it, you can too.

 

[Disney_1derland]

So funny that I just ran across this today in my 'what to expect' book. We went to WDW in November and had absolutely NO idea I was pregnant. Let's just say that the food and wine festival was wonderful and while I was never drunk I probably drank more in that 10 days than I have in 10 years. When I told my OB she laughed and said not to worry, they consider anything under 5 glasses a week to be acceptable be it wine or beer, but they suggest heavily against hard liquor.

I'm not sure why people in this country feel it is their right to force their beliefs on others, but they do. I was kicked out of Shoney's for breastfeeding my first child. We were in a private room with closed doors, it was a meeting for a community organization(and everyone at the meeting was perfectly fine with what was going on) and I was VERY discreet about it. They told us they do not allow 'indecent exposure' in their restaurant and we were FORCED to leave or they would call the cops.

 

[Disney_1derland]

If I found out I was pregnant, I would go get smashed

Heck PD, if I found out you were pregnant I'd send you a subscription to Beer of the month club as I was calling the tabloids with pictures

 

[Bashful2]

I would have been livid! I'm sure I would have had a talk with the manager. Even if I was too shocked at the time to do anything, I think I would call the manager and let him know what she did.

 

[Stacerita]

A glass of wine here and there isn't going to harm your baby. Especially that far along. Now, if you were hanging out at the bar every night and then one night the bar maid fianlly said enough is enough, ok. But thats not the case here. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is a serious thing, but having a sip of wine doesn't cause this. Heck, if that was the case there would be a ton more kids out there with it. Heck, my kid, who is healthy and brilliant IMO would have issues. In the month or so before I found out I was pregnant there was a lot of drinking on my part. Lets just say Madi gras, St.patty and spring break. She came out fine. Some docs even suggest having a drink now and then. Both while pregnant and while nursing. That waitress needed to not mind her own business. Unless you were ordering hard drinks for yourself, she should not have butted in.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

They told us they do not allow 'indecent exposure' in their restaurant and we were FORCED to leave or they would call the cops.

Ya should have told them to call the cops. The cops would have laughed in their faces since BF in public is protected by law in all 50 states.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd have spoken with the manager and she would not have received a tip.

I am getting a little tired of people in service-type positions foisting their beliefs on me. I a thinking Pharamcists that refuse to fill BCP Rxs, waitresses who won't serve pregnant women a glass of wine.

Hello...you're my waitress, not my mother!!!!!!!!!

 

[mommaU4]

If it was just tonite, you could and should still call and complain. She was way out of line. Let us know what happens.

 

[binny]

That is ridiculous. By week 33, parts of the baby that could be affected by alcohol will be primarily developed. Certainly, a glass of wine is not going to kill your baby. At the end of my pregnancies, my ob actually told me to relax and have a glass of wine.

mine did too.

Im not a huge drinker anyway so I guess she knew that but she told me that a glass of wine here and there was going to do no harm to my baby and that it would help me relax.


I would have been TICKED if a waitress told me that!

 

[drakethib]

I assume this topic will get a lot of attention, and probably a lot of flaming, but I feel it is an interesting topic.

I was raised by European Parents (dad is French, mom is Swiss). Although I was born in the US, I spent what I consider my formative years (11-18) at boarding school in Switzerland. I was raised believing it is OK to moderately drink while pregnant. My mom drank wine while pregnant and had 7 healthy kids. My Dhs mom drank beer/wine while pregnant (She is British) and had 9 healthy kids. All 16 kids could be considered rather healthy. In much of Europe, drinking lightly while pregnant is not seen as wrong. It is normal behavior. I drank lightly while pregnant with DDs. Nothing considerable. A small glass of wine, every couple of weeks, never hard alcohol.

Well, tonight I was getting dinner with my DDs (2 and 4) and a friend. I am visible pregnant (about 33 weeks, if my new due date is correct). My friend ordered a half-bottle of wine. When I asked for a glass (really to just taste the wine, as I have been brainwashed by America), the waitress refused, saying she wouldn’t be responsible for the ‘death’ of my baby. I was shocked. My friend wanted to leave, but my DDs were already enjoying their meals, and I didn’t feel like disrupting their meal.

What do you think? I am angry that a waitress felt she could control my life by telling me what to do/not do.

I would have spoken with a manager.

Our doc told my wife that one glass of wine every other day was no problem.

My wife didn't drink it, but I don't think it would have hurt.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Argh! What nerve she had!

I'd complain - loudly - even if it's after the fact.

 

[chi_girl]

thanks for the responses. I was worried that I would be maga-flamed. I thought perhaps I was out of line.

I didn’t complain to the manager. I am rather shy and quiet, and just sat there, silently fuming. I did try the wine, by drinking out of friends’ glass. (It really wasn’t that good. ) I felt like I did before I was ‘of age,’ and had to sneak a taste of my parents/older siblings wine. My friend complained loudly to the maitre d’hotel on our way out, although I doubt that made much difference. We left less then 5 percent tip, and I did keep the receipt with the waitresses name on it.

After reading every ones response, and realizing that it wasn’t unreasonable to think the waitress was out of line, I called the restaurant and was told the manager was out for the rest of the night. I will try calling back tomorrow AM.

 

[drakethib]

P.S. Mega Pixie-Dust for the new baby !!!!!



I am a 1st time dad and sitting by my 3 month old who has RSV.

I never thought a child could make a grown man tear up.