Dressing Modestly...

[Stephanie218]

I wear next to nothing But it is HOT here and you're only young once.

Haha, that's how I was in college too. If you want to dress modestly, don't go to Arizona State!

 

[themarquis]

Have you met the Duggers. (google them) They are big supporters of modesty dressing. They have a whole bunch of others beliefs but the modesty thing is really big with both thier girls and thier boys.

lol! I don't think that was totally what the OP was describing.

Re: the "modesty dress lifestyle" (or is it called something else?), has anyone seen the "modest dress" bathing suit contraptions (think head to toe spandex with a bouncy little skirt for the girls) that some people wear? Whoa!

 

[horseshowmom]

OP, my daughter would be a little similar to you (senior in college). She does wear shorts but not short-shorts (doesn't like bermudas though). She often wears knee length skirts or dresses (just above the knee generally). She doesn't like skimpy shirts by themselves (usually wears them under another shirt). She wears swimsuits but usually wears a cover-up over it until she gets ready to swim or layout.

She not much on the "if you've got it flaunt it" page (and she's a beautiful girl - tall and slim). To each their own. I would ignore your friends.

 

[Phedre]

Another vote here to ignore your friends and dress the way you feel right It's too bad they don't support you in what you like though. Maybe you could let them know that it bothers you that they don't.

I also usually dress much more modestly than the rest of my friends. It doesn't bother me or them, just the way things are. One time I was out with a group of girlfriends at a bar and some guy walked up to me and looked at what I was wearing. With a disgusted tone, he asked, "What are you, a teacher?"

My friend shot back, "If she is, she's the hottest teacher you'll ever meet!"

It was nice to feel so supported by my friends with what I wanted to do.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Of course it's judgmental! I said as much "FOR ME" you see? Judging for myself.

Regarding the Sister? Now who is being judgmental? Why would you presume, 1) that she had no concept of what true sensuality is?
2) that she was referring to what was sensual from a man's point of view?

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Thanks Suzanne! I live in Canada so we don't have Kohl's here, but I am planning on driving down to the US sometime in the next few weekends for a girl's shopping trip and I'll check it out. Am I right in thinking that Kohl's is like a department store?

Oh, and when I say they look awful on me... I mean even I'm too big for them! They make me look like I'm pregnant or they cut my chest in two. Not a great look for me. There are a few people who they flatter but I am surely not one of them!

Yes, Koh;'s is a department store and they carry clothes starting with infants to men, to plus size. They have one department I wish I could shop in, because of the beautiful dress clothes they have, but I am way to large. they even have household items as well.

There is a HUGE difference between dressing modestly and being a modesty dresser. Modesty dressing is a lifestyle that I stumbled across several years ago and it was a real eyeopener. I am not going to say anymore about the lifestyle, but lets just say I learned about all kinds of things I didn't know really existed outside of a bad lifetime movie.

I am also a plus size gal who likes to keep covered up and stylish and my favorite place to shop is CJ Banks. I use to go to Kohl's and Catharines, but since I found them, CJ Banks is my favorite.

OOhhh where can I find CJ Banks and do they carry the extended plus sizes? I only have Catherine's available to me. I am too lareg for Kohl's plus sizes and Lane Bryants too. I wear a 5X top and 34 in jeans. I can find a few pair of pants at Avenue and wear a 30/32 when I can find a style that fits right.

Suzanne

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

I think most guys actually find women who bare all to be trashy looking most of the time.

I have no desire to wear flaunty clothes. I'm not religious, or modest. I just think it looks skanky. I only wear tank tops in the summer if it's really hot.

No belly shirts or low cut jeans.

 

[wellesleyprincess]

I'm a college student as well, and consider myself modest, but my rules aren't as strick as yours.

I was always taugh clothes should follow three rules (Bs) no ****s/bra straps, bellies, or butts. I wear skirts that come above my knee (I'm long legged and it's next to impossible to find those that don't and the ones I have found are not very flattering on me). I wear tank tops out but they are the wider high cut kind (old navy has some cute ones that are pretty) modest. I noticed your from Canada, part of the reason my rules are less strict probably is because of location, I spend summers in the south and would die from heat if I didn't wear tank tops. To each there own, but I'd also suggest your friends may just be ribbing you or using this as a way of saying they feel like you're judging them for their more "sexy" lifestyle.

Just my thoughts.

 

[onelilspark]

I'll be 24 at the end of the month. I'm definitely a more modest dresser. Probably a little more liberal than you it sounds as I don't mind shirts that are more low cut, but judging by a post you made, I might have a smaller chest, which makes that a bit easier. Though let me tell you, with the way some shirts are cut, you would think I had a DD cup I was trying to fit in it and not what I have!! I love bermuda shorts, knee length skirts, and camis are my best friend. There are some shirts I'm sure others would wear without a cami, but if I find it too low, I just throw one on and I'm good to go I do wear tanks, but only ones with thicker straps, not the camis. As the PP said, I have a no bra strap rule!!

It's about being classy. And quite frankly, my boyfriend likes it best when I have on a sweater and jeans. And I've found that dressing modestly doesn't mean baggy sweatshirts, etc. Find things that fit and flatter. I like to call it being classy, not modest.

 

[bicker]

Hope it didn't come across as me disparaging others who dress less conservatively.

I think it is judgemental of you to assume people who may be comfortable with their body have less self respect. Also I hardly think a Nun is the best person to say what a man may find the most sensual thing about a woman.

Good points... I think this is critical. It is one thing to say, "XXX isn't right for me", but to assert something is wrong for others is judgmental and worthy of criticism.

 

[Crystal0608]

I agree its what you are comfortable in and if you like dressing modestly its your choice. I'm heavily endowed & usually wear low cut tops, but if my shirt isn't long enough & raises up above my hips I will jerk it down all day. I also only wear capris & bootcut jeans since I'm plus size, though I would wear normal length shorts if I was back to my pre-kids size.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

For me it has nothing at all to do with religion and everything to do with privacy and self respect.

Bicker and Andy B, I direct you to the first two words of my sentence. As I stated, I was speaking solely for myself.

Before something is deemed worthy of criticism, perhaps it should be read carefully.

I have a tendency not to presume to tell others how to live their lives.

 

[bicker]

Uh, none of my messages were in reply to any of your messages.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

You quoted and supported Andy B, yes? He was replying to my statement that he either did not read completely, or did not read correctly.

 

[Buckalew11]

I'll never forget working with the girl who wanted to shorten all my skirts and dresses--one day an older client came in who did not know her. The lady was getting permed and colored all in one day. This girl, nice as she was, had on a thigh high mini skirt, heels, a tube top with belly showing and a net-like top over this. She looked like a hooker.

After the lady spent about 2 hours with her she turns to her and says, "You really are a nice girl anyway." That hairdresser came unglued! She made a big deal out of that old lady's comment and came over and asked me what I thought she meant by it so I told her what I thought the lady meant.

it is true that the way you dress in the work place esp. gets you "judged" by others. First impressions and all that. This lady thought what anyone who saw this girl was thinking. Finally, my boss had to get her to tone her look down.

I like the pp who said classy. Women showing a lot of what they have know exactly what they are doing. I've been around too many women all my life to think otherwise. Is that judgemental? It'd be judging to call it that, I believe. So feel free to call it that...we can all judge together.

 

[bicker]

You quoted and supported Andy B, yes?

Because what he said was good stuff.

 

[mjantz]

Re: Empire waisted tops- I've found that they work for me if I wear a bra with a little padding & a definite line below my 'girls' makes them look good. I am a D-cup so I think that helps.

I think its very important to know your audience, where you're going & who you will see. I'm a bellydancer. When I'm on stage you see cleavage, tummy & lots of sparkle & glitter. However, once I exit the stage I put my cover-up on because its respectful to the other dancers. Its rude for me to walk around while other dancers are on stage without my cover-up on.
OTOH, if I'm at work or out with family & friends, I'm very covered up. Tank tops & camis are my friends. They are great to layer under a shirt that might be a bit too low cut or has a really deep v-neck. Would I ever wear dance wear to work? NO. However, I also wouldn't dance on stage in my jeans & t-shirt.

 

[All American]

It's quite gross actually.


OP, I'm a teen and while I'm not as modest as you, I prefer not to show off all my bits and pieces.
I've never worn a mini skirt, and I generally don't wear skirts and dresses. I'm not skinny, but not overweight either and I still get the "chub rub".
I mostly live in bermuda shorts during the summer. Pants are too hot and capris make me look horrible (I'm short - only 5'3). I'll occasionally wear shorter shorts, but they reach about mid-thigh.
I can not STAND low rise pants. AHH! Just because I fit in a 6 doesn't mean I'm skinny! I don't want to bend over and have my pants fall down because they're too low!

My motto is "where want you want. anyone who doesn't like it, tough"!

Oh, I forgot about the bermuda shorts. I bought a couple of pairs last summer and LOVE them!

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Actually what he said was in response to my post, that he didn't read correctly. If he had he would have found no reason to make the comment he did. So therefore, what he said was based on an incorrect assumption.