Dressing Modestly...

[autumnpalm]

Just curious to see if there are any others out there who feel similarly to me...

I am a university student and I dress quite modestly. No skirts above the knee, no tank tops in public (though I do wear them around the home), no low cut tops/dresses... things like that. I do love dressing up and shopping... I have lots of clothes and I love finding cute skirts, pretty cardigans, a great pair of jeans, necklaces, bracelets, etc.

A few of my friends jokingly tease me because I always have my shirts buttoned/zipped up, etc. They fully believe in the "if you've got it, flaunt it" theory, but I find myself really uncomfortable when I wear revealing clothes. Male attention from people I don't know kind of unsettles me and I hate catcalls and things like that.

Am I the only one out there like this? The only other place I seem to find similar viewpoints is at my church, but I'm wondering if this is just a religious thing? I don't consider myself to be uptight, I'm just not fully comfortable with my body and showing it off.

Thoughts?

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

For me it has nothing at all to do with religion and everything to do with privacy and self respect.

I hate shopping for clothing, particularly women's work clothes. It's nearly impossible to find shirts or blouses that are not cut too low or of transparent material.

I end up wearing a uniform of sorts. Oxford shirts, pleated trousers and if needed a jacket or sweater.

A nun once taught me that the most sensual thing about a woman is her mystery. One has no mystery if one's body parts are hanging out for all to see.

If you have it flaunt it? Not hardly. If you have it, keep it to yourself and share it with the person you love, not the entire gawking world.

 

[ireland_nicole]

I am a little older, ok, apparently a lot older (36) sigh, but I feel much more comfortable dressing modestly. I think I would rather people looked at my face than other areas... and I prefer to be judged on who I am rather than how short a skirt is, etc. It's not "fair" that women can be judged that way, but it happens none the less. Aside from that, I do think that being a Christian affects my viewpoint. I respect my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, and I am aware that what I do, how I dress, etc. reflect on how people view my faith. FWIW, my DD dresses modestly as well, and I am appalled at how hard it is to find clothing now that she's in the "tween" sizes. Everything is extremely tight, lots of very short skirts- I mean, she's 9 for goodness sakes; I really don't feel comfortable with it. So I'm very limited in where I can find her clothes now. But I'm teaching her that being fashionable is fine, however, we should dress to draw attention to our face.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Interesting. Not to disparage your comments, but I am not sure about the "drawing attention to your face" thought.

Do you mean that your body should be covered in a modest manner leaving your face to be what is "revealed" so to speak?

Just not really clear on what you meant.

 

[All American]

No, you're not the only one. I love capri's (Sorry, Tim Gunn) just for this reason. I also really like the trend with skirts being a bit longer/just at or below the knee with some fun shoes. I wear T-shirts/undershirts from DownEast or Shade so the T-shirts aren't so see through or short enough that I can be mistaken for a plumber (no offense) if I bend down to tie my shoe.

I am in my early 30's (look alot younger) and prefer dressing like this because, honestly, it's a heck of a lot more comfortable.

 

[smartestnumber5]

I think you should dress how you want as long as its your choice.

I don't put a lot of thought into what I wear. Generally I buy anything that fits moderately well and is really comfortable. I wear a lot of jeans and sweatshirts. One hoodie I wear almost everyday.

I don't pay much attention to revealingness. Since I only wear pants (capris in the summer) there's no revealingness in the bottoms I wear. In terms of shirts, there's a variety. I have big ****s. Shirts with cuts that would reveal absolutely no cleavage on a person with Bs reveals a lot on me. Other than shirts that cut with an inch or two of my neck (which I often find kind of constricting), there's going to be some cleavage, at least when I bend forward. Whatever. I try to minimize it when I'm in any kind of professional session. I don't get any stares or comments from men (or women). And it generally doesn't make uncomfortable if it's a minimal amount.

GF, on the other hand, wears shirts that are not at all revealing--she mostly wears men's clothes. That's what she's comfy in. Her shirts cut within an inch or two of her neck and she likes that. A few times she's worn a shirt of mine that reveals a few inches of her upper chest (no cleavage though) and she looks really, really odd with that skin showing.

So personally I have no big feelings of modesty when it comes to dress. But I think people should wear whatever makes them feel comfortable.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Wear what you feel comfortable in. Forget what others think. Some day, when you join the work force, you will have to "conform" a bit more, but for now, just be yourself...

 

[autumnpalm]

Woo, I'm not the only one! It's nice to know I'm not alone. Sometimes it can feel like it when I go shopping and all I see are halter tops and mini skirts. Of course, I don't think badly of anyone wearing those, but they just aren't for me I guess.

Ireland_Nicole, have you checked Gap Kids? I work at the Gap and have seen quite a few cute clothes that aren't revealing. They have some nice things for spring.

 

[ireland_nicole]

Interesting. Not to disparage your comments, but I am not sure about the "drawing attention to your face" thought.

Do you mean that your body should be covered in a modest manner leaving your face to be what is "revealed" so to speak?

Just not really clear on what you meant.

Just that you want people to look at you, into your eyes, face to face so to speak. As a young woman begins to look older,(and I'm not saying at 9, but certainly in the teen years- and that's not far off) if she is wearing very low cut, revealing clothing, it will draw the eye to that instead. I want her to respect herself, her body, and dress in a way that encourages respect of her too.

And I agree w/ a pp, capris and long skirts are a lot more comfortable and easier to wear, especially with kids. If I can't get down on the floor when necessary, the outfit won't work.

 

[autumnpalm]

Oh, and smartestnumber, I hear you on shirts cut for people with B cups. I wear a C/D which isn't that large, but I do have a difficult time with finding things that fit my chest properly. It seems like anything with an empire seam cuts me the wrong way. And forget button up blouses, the buttons are always coming open.

Sometimes I wonder if some of this comes from the fact that I am somewhat self conscious about my body but then... I can tend to overanalyze.

 

[smartestnumber5]

Oh, and smartestnumber, I hear you on shirts cut for people with B cups. I wear a C/D which isn't that large, but I do have a difficult time with finding things that fit my chest properly. It seems like anything with an empire seam cuts me the wrong way. And forget button up blouses, the buttons are always coming open.

Haha yeah I have the same problems!

Those empire waists . The cut 2/3 of the way across my chest leaving 1/3rd of the ****s below the empire waist line. I've worn them a couple times and found myself constantly pulling them down (which just exacerbates the cleavage problem). And the photos I've seen of me in them--it looks like I can't dress myself, it's so obvious how ill fitting the shirts are.

What's odd is that I take a plus size--I'm not a small person. So you'd think that for most people a bigger body comes with a bigger chest (not always, but often). Yet the chest area of clothes doesn't seem to be cut much differently than for something 10 sizes smaller.

 

[BabyPiglet]

OP, I'm in college as well. I usually wear jeans, a t-shirt and hoodie to school. It's not that I'm modest, I just don't feel comfortable in low cut tops. I'm always looking down to make sure nothing has popped out!

You'd love my university, everyone just wears sweats and hoodies.

 

[Buckalew11]

I have a niece in college who is like you and a DD who is a HS freshman who thinks this way also.

Personally, as a young woman working in a fancy schmancy hair salon, it was expected that we dressed like it was an outrageous fashion show every day. Then we had a few years thrown in there where there were bellies and ****ies everywhere! I worked with a girl who wanted to take my clothes home and hem them up and the whole nine yards. I really didn't fit in there. I had the body for it so those words "if ya got, flaunt it" were spoken weekly to me--that and getting scolded for not having lipstick on 24/7.

I hated dressing in a way that wasn't ''me". I never did the belly/****s thing but I always dressed in high fashion clothing that wasn't me. 15 years ago I opened my own shop never to dress in such a way that isn't "me" again. I wish I'd had the guts at 18 yo to say I would not conform but I was young and naive.

Be true to yourself. You will never, ever regret your decision!

 

[themarquis]

Wear what you feel comfortable in. Forget what others think. Some day, when you join the work force, you will have to "conform" a bit more, but for now, just be yourself...

I wear mostly really baggy, non-revealing clothes because I like them and that's what I've always worn! They're mostly from the men's department because the cut on most women's clothes looks really funny on me and doesn't fit right (and they do dumb things like not put pockets in pants ).

I've been in the workforce for quite a while and when I work in a professional environment, I wear button-down shirts with collars and suit pants. It isn't what other women wear, but it is perfectly professional and acceptable. I'm sure there are more feminine options (I know I am a bit unusual that way ) that also are "modest" (i.e., women's suits, button down shirts and blouses cut for women, etc.) that the OP will be able to feel comfortable in within a professional environment!

Lol actually, more modest dress is more "conforming" in an office or professional environment than non-modest dress, to my knowledge (unless you're working at Hooters )

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I wear mostly really baggy, non-revealing clothes because I like them and that's what I've always worn! They're mostly from the men's department because the cut on most women's clothes looks really funny on me and doesn't fit right (and they do dumb things like not put pockets in pants ).

I've been in the workforce for quite a while and when I work in a professional environment, I wear button-down shirts with collars and suit pants. It isn't what other women wear, but it is perfectly professional and acceptable. I'm sure there are more feminine options (I know I am a bit unusual that way ) that also are "modest" (i.e., women's suits, button down shirts and blouses cut for women, etc.) that the OP will be able to feel comfortable in within a professional environment!

Lol actually, more modest dress is more "conforming" in an office or professional environment than non-modest dress, to my knowledge (unless you're working at Hooters )

I agree with every word, but my point is that she will never have this much freedom again in this area...

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Oh, just do what you feel is most comortabel to you. Don't worry about what other people say, unless of course they are signing your paycheck and expect you to dress professionally.

I did go through a time in my life where I felt that I needed to flaunt what I had, but I didn't just stick it ALL out there. I was in my early to mid twenties (man that makes me feel old).

Now, I am much heavier than I should be and do everythig I can to cover up as much as possible. I don't even really like dresses much, but I never really did as a child because my mom and grandmother made me wear them all the time when I was little.

I don't wear button up most of the time because they don't fit well, since I am heavy chested, but I do like dressier knit tops and mostly wear black and navy pants to work. I LOVE capris and my few pairs of jeans. I might wear shorts during the day at Disney in June because of the heat, but I am not usually comfortable wearing them off when at home, unless I throw them on to pick up my cousin and then I don't get out of the van. I do wear sleeveless t-shirts during the summer because I am very warm blooded, but they have wide shoulders, just no sleeves. I do love sheer, frilly blouses with a cami under them, because they are dressy, but I still choose conservative ones.

I don't like shirts or blouses up too close to my neck because I feel like I am choking and I think some of that was inherited from my mom, she couldn't wear necklaces for taht reason and neither can I, also I partially woke up prior to a surgery I was having and felt like I was choking and now have fears from it.

Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Haha yeah I have the same problems!

Those empire waists . The cut 2/3 of the way across my chest leaving 1/3rd of the ****s below the empire waist line. I've worn them a couple times and found myself constantly pulling them down (which just exacerbates the cleavage problem). And the photos I've seen of me in them--it looks like I can't dress myself, it's so obvious how ill fitting the shirts are.

What's odd is that I take a plus size--I'm not a small person. So you'd think that for most people a bigger body comes with a bigger chest (not always, but often). Yet the chest area of clothes doesn't seem to be cut much differently than for something 10 sizes smaller.

Boy, did you hit that nail on the head. why do they do this to us plus size women. hey just need to remake that empre waist a little differently. I can't stand to see a woman with hers half way with the line across the middle of her b****. I usually have to put those blouses back because of the way they are cut.

DH took me shopping last weekend and about half of what I choose by looking at the top had some kind of stretch band around the bottom, not very flattering for a plus size woman. Who makes these things, the same person who makes them for skinny minnies? They need to let us Real women design these clothes.

Suzanne

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

Now I have the opposite problem with plus sized clothing. I find that all the plus sized stores think all heavier women have ginormous breasts! I am here to tell you that no, not all of us do.

Op, dress however you feel most comfortable. I find the trend of revealing clothing and everything being far too tight to be unattractive.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Now I have the opposite problem with plus sized clothing. I find that all the plus sized stores think all heavier women have ginormous breasts! I am here to tell you that no, not all of us do.

Op, dress however you feel most comfortable. I find the trend of revealing clothing and everything being far too tight to be unattractive.

My mom had that problem, everything she tried on was huge up top. I however don't have that problem, but the empire waist just isn't for those of use that have large breasts, unless you can wear a bullett bra and they stand at attention and I can't do that, they are too heavy, sorry TMI.

Suzanne

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

I don't think empire waists are attractive on a lot of people. It makes me look pregnant.