Dreaming about old boyfriend - very upsetting

[AllyandJack]

I have to agree with the others....lack of sex in a marriage is not OK (I mean, unless you've come out into the open and had such a conversation, but, even then....it's just odd to me).

I don't know how much I'd freak over the dreams. I have dreams about Hugh Laurie and I don't feel like I'm "cheating" on my husband.

You also can't just expect sex to fix everything. My husband and I are on the verge of divorce and, even after 3 kids, the sex hasn't slowed down at all (probably explains why the kids are so close together...maybe there's a reason sex is supposed to slow down after kids and it's so you don't end up with 3 kids in 2 years). Yet, it doesn't mean we're OK.

It's a good place to start, but if there's something else going on, it's not going fix everything.

Hang in there! I wouldn't feel guilty about the dreams. You're not going out and finding this guy, so don't pile on extra guilt that you don't need.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Is your dh even trying to initiate anything with you?

 

[Embarrased]

Is your dh even trying to initiate anything with you?

Nope.

<------That's me, feeling really ashamed for admitting this...even if it's anonymously.

 

[NY Disney fan]

My exH stopped initiating with me. He always told it was because he was tired. He had a 2 hour commute (each way to and from work). I believed him. Turned out that he was getting his needs met on the computer. So it was very convenient for him.

 

[Sparx]

Nope.

<------That's me, feeling really ashamed for admitting this...even if it's anonymously.

 

[SNylund]

Sounds like you are still in love with your old boyfriend and that your inner self would prefer to be with him. Your subconscious knows but your conscious mind does not want to admit it and is suppressing it.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Sounds like you are still in love with your old boyfriend and that your inner self would prefer to be with him. Your subconscious knows but your conscious mind does not want to admit it and is suppressing it.

Maybe but is she in love with him or the idea of him? No matter who you end up with the every day nuances of life do eventually occur. That crazy honeymoon period that is so exciting doesn't continue like that on a 24/7 basis when you are seeing each other's daily routine. So while the idea of the old boyfriend is appealing, it is simply because she is not thinking of a daily life with this person. Just the fun parts. JMHO. Honestly I think the OP needs to figure out why neither of them are interested in being intimate.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Nope.

<------That's me, feeling really ashamed for admitting this...even if it's anonymously.

Don't be ashamed. Intimacy is part of life. You shouldn't be ashamed because your needs aren't being met. Sorry but I think that your needs are just as important as your dh's. He should want to make you happy as much as you want to make him happy.