MushyMushy
Marseeya Here!
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2006
- Messages
- 13,072
I get so sick of this with my parents!
I've vented about this uncle before, but now there's more drama. First of all, he's my mother's younger brother (she has 3 younger brothers -- 2 alive, and one dead) and they are close -- almost abnormally close. He's completely devoted and dependent on her, and he's her #1 guy. He has caused numerous problems with our family ever since I can remember. My dad HATES him, and it's gotten even worse since they've all retired because my mother wants to help financially support him. They're living on SS, which you know isn't much! My uncle never had a "real" job, but did odd jobs here and there so he could stay home and take care of his parents until they died, and then after they died, he took up cleaning houses. This house cleaning thing is sort of important to what comes next.
Back when I still lived at home, he cleaned house for my parents every week. I tried to insist that he stay OUT of my room, but he would sneak in anyway. Pretty soon, things started disappearing from my room, and my dad's dresser drawers. I "lost" jewelry -- a few nice rings, a bracelet, and a nice locket. My dad "lost" some papers that were extremely important to him -- old pictures of his antique car, the original title to it (from the 40s!), and a few things of that nature. My mother refused to believe that brother dearest could have had anything to do with it, and insisted that we were careless and lost them.
No surprise, as my mom had always put her brother before any of us.
Fast forward to yesterday. Brother dearest needs to buy a new transmission for his car at around $1700, so he called and asked my mom for the money. They don't have that kind of money! Plus they just had to replace a ceiling in their house this week! Unfreakingbelievable.
She asked my dad, who said absolutely not. He's fed up with giving him money all the time. My mother had a fit, and went on and on about how her brother is all the family she's got (uh, like her kids and grandkids are nothing, and her husband is nothing). I can't believe she would say such a thing to my dad when he does EVERYthing for her since she's become homebound.
My dad came to MY house all upset. This just kills me. I hate to see my dad go through his retirement years like this, having to deal with my uncle and taking care of my extremely impossible mother. I try to listen to him vent, but there's nothing I can do. Still, it just infuriates me.
My uncle tries to insinuate himself into my life and I want no part of it. He calls all the time (I let the machine pick up), sends cards, and just generally drives me nuts.
I don't really want advice, but I just want to vent. I'm so mad on behalf of my dad, and I'm just mad at my mom and uncle.
I've vented about this uncle before, but now there's more drama. First of all, he's my mother's younger brother (she has 3 younger brothers -- 2 alive, and one dead) and they are close -- almost abnormally close. He's completely devoted and dependent on her, and he's her #1 guy. He has caused numerous problems with our family ever since I can remember. My dad HATES him, and it's gotten even worse since they've all retired because my mother wants to help financially support him. They're living on SS, which you know isn't much! My uncle never had a "real" job, but did odd jobs here and there so he could stay home and take care of his parents until they died, and then after they died, he took up cleaning houses. This house cleaning thing is sort of important to what comes next.
Back when I still lived at home, he cleaned house for my parents every week. I tried to insist that he stay OUT of my room, but he would sneak in anyway. Pretty soon, things started disappearing from my room, and my dad's dresser drawers. I "lost" jewelry -- a few nice rings, a bracelet, and a nice locket. My dad "lost" some papers that were extremely important to him -- old pictures of his antique car, the original title to it (from the 40s!), and a few things of that nature. My mother refused to believe that brother dearest could have had anything to do with it, and insisted that we were careless and lost them.
No surprise, as my mom had always put her brother before any of us.
Fast forward to yesterday. Brother dearest needs to buy a new transmission for his car at around $1700, so he called and asked my mom for the money. They don't have that kind of money! Plus they just had to replace a ceiling in their house this week! Unfreakingbelievable.
She asked my dad, who said absolutely not. He's fed up with giving him money all the time. My mother had a fit, and went on and on about how her brother is all the family she's got (uh, like her kids and grandkids are nothing, and her husband is nothing). I can't believe she would say such a thing to my dad when he does EVERYthing for her since she's become homebound.
My dad came to MY house all upset. This just kills me. I hate to see my dad go through his retirement years like this, having to deal with my uncle and taking care of my extremely impossible mother. I try to listen to him vent, but there's nothing I can do. Still, it just infuriates me.
My uncle tries to insinuate himself into my life and I want no part of it. He calls all the time (I let the machine pick up), sends cards, and just generally drives me nuts.
I don't really want advice, but I just want to vent. I'm so mad on behalf of my dad, and I'm just mad at my mom and uncle.
I don't necessarily think divorce is always the best option, but in their case, they should have divorced years ago. They've never been happy together. I think that may have been the only thing to ever shake her out of her bad attitue.
