Doreen's New Way of Life (comments are welcome)

[DoeWDW]

Tuesday!

I did pretty well yesterday. I accomplished some stuff at work. I got the majority of the stuff into DS' suitcase - it weighs 41 pounds. The carryon should be well under 11 pounds. I feel better now, knowing he'll be ready for his trip. There are a few little things to finish but the vast majority is out of the way.

I also made some tuna salad last night. I had some for dinner and just had more for breakfast - I really do love that stuff! My stomach has been feeling horrible for the past few weeks and has been getting steadily worse over the past week. I need to get back to what works - low-carb without the bars and cheats. All the anxiety I'm feeling is contributing too but hopefully eating the right foods will help. I got up extra early this morning and made egg custard - I'll eat some for lunch.

Usually all this anxiety paralyzes me but I've been more proactive this time. I'm accomplishing things at work - slowly but surely. I'm doing my best to eat better. I'm also looking at what's weighing on my mind - like packing for DS' trip - and trying to take positive steps to alleviate the worry.

I know this will all help but it takes time. My goal is to make things a little better each day so I can avoid one of my total shut-downs. I've decided that my healthy eating is priority number one. Doing things to alleviate anxiety at home is priority number two. Getting things done at work is priority number three. Maybe it isn't fair to my employer but if I don't take care of me first, I won't be able to function at all.

Today is a new day. I've already made egg custard, unloaded & reloaded & ran the dishwasher, and brought my breakfast & lunch to work. I'm wearing jeans that are comfortable instead of my work pants which are getting snug these days, in spite of the 10 AM meeting I have to attend. I'm taking the best care of me that I can.

Oh, and I did meet my 2 goals yesterday - I was sugar-free (except for 1 cough lozenge) and I treated myself as well as I could. I think I'll keep these 2 goals for today!

Time to get down to work!

 

[Strings]

Congratulations Doe on a sucessful day. I'm glad to see that you are being proactive about your health. Your vacation will help. You will be able to rest and relax and no housework. I know that preparing for a vacaation adds stress, but boy is it worth it.

Looks like your plan for yesterday worked, and I think you are smart to continue with those goals. I'll be sending your way to help you through your day.

Beth

 

[septbride2002]

Great work yesterday! I don't think it is unfair to your employer at all that the company is listed 3rd on your list of priorities. Remember when the going gets rough it will be home and family that are there for you - not work.

Good job on taking care of you!

~Amanda

 

[lulu202]

Hi, dear WISH-sis. I've missed you and our WISH buddies so much the last few days. How are you doing? You sound like you're really taking care of you. While things are tough and hectic, it sounds like you're being realistic at what you can manage and just doing what you can while honoring yourself.
Good for you, you you; good for you.

I'm sending and prayers your way.

Love,
Erin

 

[toystoryduo]

Doe,
Thanks you so much for the words of encouragement that you left in my journal. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. Thank you so much!

I hope today is a wonderful day for you!

Tracy

 

[DoeWDW]

Beth, you are so right! The vacation coming up - 2 weeks of just "being" with no to-do lists - is what's keeping me going. I can make it!

Amanda, I love the way you worded your thoughts in my journal - when things get rough, it will be home & family that I can count on. It really puts things into perspective!

Erin, that's just how I feel - like I'm honoring myself by putting ME first. Your hugs and prayers are most appreciated!

Tracy, hugs back to you! That's what friends are for.

I'm sending out a big to all my WISH buddies - these journals are my lifeline at times. Enough of that before I get too mushy.

My stomach is feeling better. I'm eating strict low-carb with no bars and no cheats and my body is thanking me for it. I'm also less bloated and feeling thinner. The scale said 135 this morning - down a pound - hopefully the number will stick around for a while because I'm REAL tired of seeing 136.

I succeeded at my two goals again yesterday - I remained sugar-free (thanks for the idea, Erin!) and I took the best care of me I could. I think I'll do the same again today - if it's working, why change it, right?

Now I'm off to do some work. I'll get around to more journals later.

 

[septbride2002]

Good Morning Doe! You sound bright and this morning. I agree sometimes our bodies need a break from the bars and substitutes and just eat some good wholesome whole foods. Good for you for realizing that and steppin up!

I'm glad you liked my post yesterday. I think all of us get wrapped up in our jobs from time to time and we need to remember that it is just a job. I know the last thing I want on my tombstone is "She was a hard worker" *BLAH*

Have a great day today !

~Amanda

 

[Strings]

Hi Doreen,

Looks like you have everything under control today. Looks like those goals are really working for you. I'm glad your stomach is feeling better. Have a good day Doe.

Beth

 

[DoeWDW]

It's Thursday.....my feelings are ranging from tired to angry to moderately happy.

I am tired - the week seems to be dragging on forever and I'm really ready for the weekend.

I am angry - there's a huge situation blowing up at work. I did my best to make things work out but obviously I didn't do enough. I didn't hold everyone's hand to make sure they did their jobs. Oh well, there will be time for blame later but at the moment we're scrambling to make things right and move forward. Next week will NOT be any fun for me. I see a major case of work anxiety next Monday evening through Thursday close of business.

I am happy about the scale - it said 134 this morning. My tummy is (well, WAS until I got to work ) feeling a lot better and I'm feeling thinner. Of course, I also got my hair cut last night so that might contribute to some lost weight. See, I haven't lost my sense of humor yet.

Tonight will be a relatively quiet evening at home. DD has rehearsal for her dance / baton recital tomorrow night but another Mom is doing the driving tonight.

17 days until Disney.....that's the only thing keeping me going.

I suspect I'll feel better later today as we iron out some of the work issues. I love my job, I love my job, I love my job - I'll keep saying it and some day I'll believe it!

EDIT:
I almost forgot!! I was sugar-free yesterday and I ate low carb. That's 3 days in a row!! I'll work toward another good day today!

 

[lulu202]

Good morning, honey. I'm glad you went over all of these emotions and feelings here in your journal. It's good to have a place to let it out, isn't it? I'm also glad that you're seeing and feeling some of the results of choosing to be sugar-free and low-carb--it sounds like your body is loving you for it!

You know, a lot of stuff is out of our control. This whole work thing sounds like it's an example. You can't possibly be handling every little detail for every single person--heck, aren't they paid to be responsible for themselves?????????????????? I think it's good that you've focused on solving the problem at hand.

Uh-oh, I just heard the chime on our clock. I'm going to run over to my journal and then head over to the preschool. Please know that I'm thinking of you today--just like always.

Erin

 

[Strings]

Doe,

I am sorry that you have so much to deal with over the next week. Ugh, one of the things I find most fustrating is when I am dependent on others to do their jobs for me to get things done. I feel I am competent, and expect others to be as well. It is what they are paid to do, so do it. I am sure that things will be resolved, and you can make sure that it doesn't happen again. You are a Mom, you can be scary when necessary.

That being said, CONGRATULATIONS! You have een lc/sugar free for 3 days. Despite stress, despite work, despite family obligations. You have been good to yourself, and you are feeling better for it. Congratulations and you should be very proud of yourself. I am proud of you.

I also wanted to thank you for your support over the last few days. It has helped me more than I can say. Thank you.

Here's a and for your day. Always remember that you are a .
Beth

 

[septbride2002]

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do you do we swim, swim , swim!

I hope your day gets better Doe. Just on the wave of emotions and take each hour for what it is worth and move on to the next.

I'll be thinking about you and sending you lots of virtual

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

Erin, it would have been easy to let the anger overpower everything else, but you're right - writing down ALL my emotions was helpful. It wasn't all doom & gloom this morning. I'm always looking for the bright spots.

Beth, your comment "You are a Mom, you can be scary when necessary." made me laugh out loud! I really needed the giggle too! Made me imagine sitting everyone down and towering over them giving them a lecture and shaking my finger at them. Also thanks for reminding me that I've been lc/sugar-free in spite of everything else. Maybe I really can do this!! You're always such an inspiration to me - you seem to stay with your eating plan and exercise no matter what. Hopefully your good habits are rubbing off on me! Thanks!!

Amanda, my grandma & great aunt call me Dory, so your quote from Finding Nemo really hit home. I've just gotta keep going and this too shall pass.

I'm happy to report that I'm feeling a bit better already. The crisis is being handled and not by me! I'm just doing the best I can and that's good enough.

I'm still low-carb & sugar-free, in spite of the urge to drown my morning anger & sadness in chocolate. I'm proud of my 3 days of success and don't want to blow it now, especially since my body is feeling better. I'm going to find a healthy lunch and make the afternoon a happier one!

 

[DoeWDW]

Lunch yesterday was some trail mix - not the best choice but sugar-free and fairly low carb. Afternoon snack was some egg custard. Dinner was Chicken a la Amanda - so good!! I was low carb & sugar-free for the 4th day in a row!!

Today is going better at work. The problems are getting resolved - YAY! I still have some hurdles to face next week but that's life. I'll face them and by Thursday afternoon, things will be back to normal.

Breakfast was an apple w/ PB and my pills.
Lunch will be a burger or a Subway lc wrap.
Dinner - probably Chicken a la Amanda leftovers - YUM!

My daughter's dance / baton recital is this evening - un-air-conditioned school auditorium. Tomorrow evening we'll have dinner with my brother and go to the movies together. Sunday - no plans. Monday the kids are marching in the local parade (wool uniforms - ugh!) and then we're off to a picnic for my niece's high school graduation. I have lots of packing to do for the various trips coming up, but there's also plenty of unscheduled relax time in there! I have a couple bushes & flowers that have to get planted too.

I'm feeling pretty peaceful and content. Physically I'm feeling healthy and thinner. The scale still says 135 - fine with me.

Gotta run - have work to do!

 

[Auntmeme]

Hi Dory

Sounds like you are making it through and today its's FRIDAY Stick to your plans and smile smile smile, life is good! Soon you'll be skipping thourgh the delightful world of mickey & minnie



Hope the weather stays cool for you Have a great weekend!

 

[lulu202]

Hey, Doreen. I'll be back to posting early next week (with my weird lulu202 user name), but at least when I'm at home I can always read what you write to me. It sounds to me like you've got a busy weekend, but your head seems to be in a good place and you sound ready to take it all in stride. Good for you!

While I know we won't be able to IM, you've got my number if you're in the mood for a chat this weekend.

Love to you and yours,
Erin

 

[DavidandDenise]

Doreen, You are doing so well. You WILL conquer this week and you have so much to look forward to. I hope DD's recital is going well. Yay for you on being LC and SF for four days! That's great! Take it easy and take advantage of those little times of relaxation as they pop up!

 

[LAinSEA]

Doreen:

Congrats on 4 full sugar-free days!

I know that eating low-carb/atkins you're suppose to lose your cravings for sweets...but for me, that has never happened. And sugar alcohols just don't like me much - even a little is sometimes too much.

I admire your effort to avoid the sugar...I sure hope that you are feeling well. Not letting life's stresses run you down.

DH and I were sitting on a bench waiting for Old Faithful and munching on sandwiches we'd picked up in town. Jeff said I should watch out for the "sugar buzz" after eating the whole wheat bread on the sandwich - when I hadn't had any bread for nearly a month. A lady overheard us and asked if I was on atkins. She asked if I still craved sweets, because she still craved sweets (she'd been eating low-carb for nearly 3 years). She told me her doctor told her that she is "insulin resistent". She looked great - must have been at or near goal weight - but she said that even a small baked potato was enough to give her "the shakes" about 20-30 minutes after she ate it. I wonder if I'm that way too...

She said that insulin is like a drug...your body can build up a tolerance to it just like any other drug...and become addicted to it as well. She said the sugar cravings are really insulin cravings. Oh, and just like an dry-alcoholic, one "drink" can knock you totally off the wagon and aggrevate the cravings. She also said that "insulin resistance" can indicate a pre-diabetic condition. (I think I remember reading something in Atkins book about this.) I'm going to investigate this further.

Enjoy DD's recital and hopefully a stress-free weekend!

-Laurie

 

[toystoryduo]

Good morning Doe,
Congratulations on 4 days sugar free!

It sounds like you have a fun, but busy weekend planned. I hope you can find some time to relax and enjoy that extra day off.

I'm glad that work seems to be slowing down a bit and things are getting resolved there step by step.

Thank you for the encouragement that you left in my journal. I will definitely be passing that on to my DH. Thanks!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Tracy

 

[CheapMom]

Wow Doe - 4 days sugar free. That's impressive. You are doing great- keep it up. I am sending you a pm.
Mary