Dont know what to do!

[mommy2_3]

he isnt picking him up so no worries about this anymore.

 

[bumbershoot]

Had to read it a couple times...first I thought this was going to ruin your trip in April.

But you are just thinking of getting the refund to use that money for this trip. Well, I have heard that the refund isn't immediate, so you might not have it in hand in time for this.

But gosh...if you don't have it, you don't have it. What if you'd already converted that money you saved into, say, a Disney GiftCard. Can't return it. Can't get a refund. No money.

Isn't there someone else who can get him? Doesn't sound like you support him leaving yet anyway, perhaps he needs a bit of tough love to keep him at rehab?

 

[mommy2_3]

Had to read it a couple times...first I thought this was going to ruin your trip in April.

But you are just thinking of getting the refund to use that money for this trip. Well, I have heard that the refund isn't immediate, so you might not have it in hand in time for this.

But gosh...if you don't have it, you don't have it. What if you'd already converted that money you saved into, say, a Disney GiftCard. Can't return it. Can't get a refund. No money.

Isn't there someone else who can get him? Doesn't sound like you support him leaving yet anyway, perhaps he needs a bit of tough love to keep him at rehab?

nope no one else ca go and get him. i decided that im not going to call to get our money back. this is our trip and im keeping it this way garsh darn it! he is going to tell him he needs to call his dad and have him give us $50. and if he cant give us the money or if he doesnt call then he is going to have to wait another 2 weeks. oh well!

 

[dimimi]

Could you go and pick up your step dad and then ask him for gas money?

 

[mommy2_3]

Could you go and pick up your step dad and then ask him for gas money?

he doesnt have any money or a job. since we are picking him up and he is going to stay with us he is getting some food with his food stamp card. thats all he can do.

 

[Tinkerbellie16]

I certainly have no idea of your situation but if he's leaving rehab early, perhaps you need to give some tough love and say you are on your own. That is a serious situation that you don't want to enable him. I wouldn't even send money because that is enabling him to leave early and almost sounds like you are supporting this decision. I wouldn't let him back in your house either. But again, I don't know the whole situation. I do agree that you have YOUR money and you should do what you want with it. Your father-in-law is an adult and needs to take care of himself if he is leaving 'rehab' early.

 

[SandrA9810]

i would try to convince him he shouldn't leave rehab early. And what kind of gas hog do you drive??? 3hrs of driving and need to refill at 50$ a tank. I drove a F-150 to the mountains and back, about 4hrs and still had a quarter of a tank after putting 50 to fill it.

Maybe if you rent a small car for the day it'd be cheaper. Even after rental fees and filling it up.

 

[ceecee]

He's been in rehab for a year??? Next April is 10 months from now, so the post is very confusing. Do you mean that you need gas $ and can't put the $ down on the room now? You've still got almost a year to re-book. I would ask him for the gas $, who paid for the rehab?

 

[mommy2_3]

i would try to convince him he shouldn't leave rehab early. And what kind of gas hog do you drive??? 3hrs of driving and need to refill at 50$ a tank. I drove a F-150 to the mountains and back, about 4hrs and still had a quarter of a tank after putting 50 to fill it.

Maybe if you rent a small car for the day it'd be cheaper. Even after rental fees and filling it up.

no it wont be for a whole tank just half. DH doesnt like the gas gage to go below half a tank if he can help it. we have a pontic montana.

He's been in rehab for a year??? Next April is 10 months from now, so the post is very confusing. Do you mean that you need gas $ and can't put the $ down on the room now? You've still got almost a year to re-book. I would ask him for the gas $, who paid for the rehab?

no he has been in rehab for about a month and a half. yes we do need the gas money ONLY if we are going to pick him up. we have plenty for doing things around town and such. i know we have almost a yr to re-book. he is a Veteran so he goes to rehab free cause the Veteran's hospital pays for it.

I certainly have no idea of your situation but if he's leaving rehab early, perhaps you need to give some tough love and say you are on your own. That is a serious situation that you don't want to enable him. I wouldn't even send money because that is enabling him to leave early and almost sounds like you are supporting this decision. I wouldn't let him back in your house either. But again, I don't know the whole situation. I do agree that you have YOUR money and you should do what you want with it. Your father-in-law is an adult and needs to take care of himself if he is leaving 'rehab' early.

yeah i know he needs to stay. he is a serious alcholic. but DH is the one he talks to and convencied him to come home because he said that he cant find work up there.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I recommend the book Boundaries.

 

[Sunbeamblue2002]

I don't know much about the rehab that he is in or why he's leaving early good luck with that. I can tell you that we own a 2005 montania and find we get way better gas milage on longer high way trips then on shoter city ones. So that may help you if you rebudget. Good luck to you no matter what happens.

 

[*pixie*dust*]

I say this gently and respectfully but if $50 for gas is going to create a strain on your budget, maybe a trip to WDW in a few months may not be the best plan.
WDW has a lot of ways to capture our money --restaurants, toys, momentos and lots of other "extras". Maybe planning a little further out than next spring might make the trip and the budget a bit more comfortable?

 

[allison443]

Thursday i called and put some money down on our room for april 2nd-10th. i was really excited about it! but now i may have to call and cancel and get our money back because we have to drive to pick up DH's stepdad from rehab. he wants to leave early so he has no way back. i knew this was going to happen. i told DH before he left that he was going to call you and ask if you can pick him up. he has only been there a month and a half. now dont get me wrong, i love him and he helps out alot, esp. with cooking (cause you know there are just those days when you really dont want to cook lol). i guess i wouldnt be to upset if gas didnt shoot up. it was down to $2.32 or something around there. now we get to half a tank and it costs $50 to fill. we had set aside $100 for gas. now it looks like at least the whole $100 will go for this little road trip. it takes a little over 3 hrs there and 3 hrs back. when i had to go to another county to get my dental work done it was an hour and a half away there and hour and a half back. by the time we got back we had to fill up cause we were under half a tank. now that im really thinking about it i may have to. ugh! this sucks! man i KNEW this was going to happen!

You have to pick him up because he's leaving early? Who was going to pick him up if he stayed the full amount of time? What if you couldn't or wouldn't pick him up now-would he have to stay the full time?

 

[cheshireqt]

It took me minute to figure out how April fit in with the situation as well, but I think I've got it now. Not knowing how long he is supposed to be in rehab, but reading through other posts it sounds like he has asked your DH to pick him up early AND he is coming to live with you? If so then b/c of kids it seems that the prudent measure would be to force him to complete the program. It sounds like at some point you will need to go get him though, so that only delays the expense of travel?

 

[hambirg]

Call his VA caseworker. Depending on his level of disability, he can probably get transportation through VA Travel. Of course, this would probably require him to stay in rehab for the duration. . .problem solved. You are not being a bad DIL. . .you will be being an advocate. Sounds like that's what he needs.

 

[mommy2_3]

hubby isnt picking him up. and no $50 wouldnt put a strain on us. we just dont have the money right this very second. April is still months away, which is why we are saving/budgeting for it. if he had called a few weeks ago and not a few days then yeah. but it doesnt matter cause DH isnt picking him up.

 

[SandrA9810]

i get what you're saying now. It's one thing to plan that sort of thing out. It's another when family expects you to do something at the drop of a hat, and come up with the money to do it.
I had my mom do that a couple of times when i lived 2hrs away from her. It's one thing if it's an actual emergency, it's another when it's because they want. And 50$ isn't something you just toss into the wind because of it. And not something you're gonna classify as an actual emergency to make it worth pulling out of savings or slapping it on plastic.

Sorry, i thought you meant you'd spend a 100$ on gas for 6hrs of driving.

Good to hear you stuck to your guns. This doesn't sound like one he should win.