Raulandpinboy
<font color=blue>Table-dancing auctioneer<br><font
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2001
- Messages
- 1,705
10 Ways to Maintain a Health Level of Insanity
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
7. Don't use any punctuation marks
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
10. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Stud Muffin Thor Aqualung.
Sad thing is with the exception of #5 because the coffee machine is in this office worshipped by the morning dead, and they pray over it 24/7 I have done all of these and more.
Also I had to change the Wrestler name to my name. They had Rock Steel Kimmy
But here is my all time favorite
Go to a public restroom make sure the stalls are filled, go into an empty one take a bag of pennies and set your cell phone ringer to the most colorful tune you have, and raise the volume.
Now timing is everything so follow closely Face the urinal. Take out the pennies hold the cell phone in one hand and the pennies in the other put the cell phone into ring select mode or have a friend call you.
Now all at once flush the potty, ring the cell phone, yell WOOHOO Jackpot jump up and down, and dump the pennies all over the floor.
Then as an exiting option, knock on the doors and ask the patrons to hand you any pennies on the floor. Oh and if any do hand you the pennies Wash your hands a few times, use lots of soap!!!
Disclaimer:
Oh my goodness the list is soooooo long of those that want to say something, go ahead laugh, cry, giggle, or just shake your head. I love my life its always fun, I will live forever, or if not I will have fun trying, join me and be free.
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
7. Don't use any punctuation marks
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
10. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Stud Muffin Thor Aqualung.
Sad thing is with the exception of #5 because the coffee machine is in this office worshipped by the morning dead, and they pray over it 24/7 I have done all of these and more.
Also I had to change the Wrestler name to my name. They had Rock Steel Kimmy
But here is my all time favorite
Go to a public restroom make sure the stalls are filled, go into an empty one take a bag of pennies and set your cell phone ringer to the most colorful tune you have, and raise the volume.
Now timing is everything so follow closely Face the urinal. Take out the pennies hold the cell phone in one hand and the pennies in the other put the cell phone into ring select mode or have a friend call you.
Now all at once flush the potty, ring the cell phone, yell WOOHOO Jackpot jump up and down, and dump the pennies all over the floor.
Then as an exiting option, knock on the doors and ask the patrons to hand you any pennies on the floor. Oh and if any do hand you the pennies Wash your hands a few times, use lots of soap!!!
Disclaimer:
Oh my goodness the list is soooooo long of those that want to say something, go ahead laugh, cry, giggle, or just shake your head. I love my life its always fun, I will live forever, or if not I will have fun trying, join me and be free.
and uhmmm do you want fries with that?
