happymommy
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2006
- Messages
- 7,152
Yeah - oh I can relate!
I live about 800 miles from my parents and sisters. I used to go every summer, bringing the kids, to visit. This includes me flying alone with my kids when they were babies even (DH can't always get away from work - he is the owner). My one sister hasn't visited here in 9 years! She goes on vacations and stuff with her kids, but even just alone or with one or two kids, nope. My folks could come here much more easily than me and two kids (mom and dad are young and healthy). I finally decided that I'll try for maybe every other year or so, and honestly I don't care how they feel about that!
We recently bought a Marriott timeshare in Hawaii, and trust me, my family and my inlaws don't know. It's really not their business (okay, I broke down and told my sister, but she thinks it's cool). My folks think timeshares are a "scam", but it's actually a great deal. Looked into DVC for years, but DH wouldn't do it, so at least we can try to trade into it from time to time.
On a positive note, my DH never took a vacation until we met. His brother (super cheapskate) never was taking any, except for his honeymoon. His wife was getting super jealous of us, as we take at least two vacations a year. Now - they actually go on vacations! He's super cheap (doesn't have to be, they have plenty of money, just is) so it's not the type we like, but still, it's nice to see them going on vacations!
I also didn't go to a family "reunion" in Illinois last month, although my mom sort of planned it. It would have involved flying to Chicago, then driving 2 hours to the middle of nowhere, and seeing relatives that I don't see but every 10 years or so. It was a total pain, so I politely declined. I know that some were pissed, but sorry, that was my decision.
If I go back to visit even every few years, that is fine by me. Maybe then they'll decide to come here. I think one vacation for just immediate family per trip to see relatives to me is too much - maybe one trip to see relatives for every 6 or so?
I also agree, the guilt only can come from the one feeling it. No one can make you feel anything. You just have to do what you feel is best for you and your family. I used to feel like I had to go visit my folks, but honestly, they can just as easily come here.
I can't remember how many times we've been at Disney World and my folks were at their house 3 hours away, but they never came up to enjoy Disney with their grandkids! Only last year they did, but it was a bad decision (we all met there, and I am the only one that goes regularly, it was sister's first time bringing her kids, and well, I'd rather go without her!). My dad was drunk by the pool daily (hates theme parks and crowds, and he came WHY?).
Thanks for letting me vent!
Oh - and how many of us have heard "You're going to Disney AGAIN? Why don't you go someplace else for a change?" Those that never go to Disney (my mom and sister)- they finally stopped asking that! Thank GOD - I don't have to explain WHY I want to go somewhere!
I live about 800 miles from my parents and sisters. I used to go every summer, bringing the kids, to visit. This includes me flying alone with my kids when they were babies even (DH can't always get away from work - he is the owner). My one sister hasn't visited here in 9 years! She goes on vacations and stuff with her kids, but even just alone or with one or two kids, nope. My folks could come here much more easily than me and two kids (mom and dad are young and healthy). I finally decided that I'll try for maybe every other year or so, and honestly I don't care how they feel about that!
We recently bought a Marriott timeshare in Hawaii, and trust me, my family and my inlaws don't know. It's really not their business (okay, I broke down and told my sister, but she thinks it's cool). My folks think timeshares are a "scam", but it's actually a great deal. Looked into DVC for years, but DH wouldn't do it, so at least we can try to trade into it from time to time.
On a positive note, my DH never took a vacation until we met. His brother (super cheapskate) never was taking any, except for his honeymoon. His wife was getting super jealous of us, as we take at least two vacations a year. Now - they actually go on vacations! He's super cheap (doesn't have to be, they have plenty of money, just is) so it's not the type we like, but still, it's nice to see them going on vacations!
I also didn't go to a family "reunion" in Illinois last month, although my mom sort of planned it. It would have involved flying to Chicago, then driving 2 hours to the middle of nowhere, and seeing relatives that I don't see but every 10 years or so. It was a total pain, so I politely declined. I know that some were pissed, but sorry, that was my decision.
If I go back to visit even every few years, that is fine by me. Maybe then they'll decide to come here. I think one vacation for just immediate family per trip to see relatives to me is too much - maybe one trip to see relatives for every 6 or so?
I also agree, the guilt only can come from the one feeling it. No one can make you feel anything. You just have to do what you feel is best for you and your family. I used to feel like I had to go visit my folks, but honestly, they can just as easily come here.
I can't remember how many times we've been at Disney World and my folks were at their house 3 hours away, but they never came up to enjoy Disney with their grandkids! Only last year they did, but it was a bad decision (we all met there, and I am the only one that goes regularly, it was sister's first time bringing her kids, and well, I'd rather go without her!). My dad was drunk by the pool daily (hates theme parks and crowds, and he came WHY?).
Thanks for letting me vent!
Oh - and how many of us have heard "You're going to Disney AGAIN? Why don't you go someplace else for a change?" Those that never go to Disney (my mom and sister)- they finally stopped asking that! Thank GOD - I don't have to explain WHY I want to go somewhere!
