Does no one else celebrate with wedding anniversary getaways?

[jodifla]

No, we don't. DH has limited vacation time and it's a mutual decision to save it for family vacations instead, we're taking two this year. We'll have plenty of time to get-a-way alone after the kids are grown, but that doesn't mean we've put our marriage on a shelf, we're actually closer then ever.

of course if you have three kids, two years apart, that's 24 years with no couple time.

 

[mhsjax]

of course if you have three kids, two years apart, that's 24 years with no couple time.

And yet people somehow survive. Just because you don't go away for a weekend doesn't mean that you don't have couple time. We don't go away, we don't have that luxury, no relatives to watch our kids. Well we don just not close. And if you ask any of our friends, they will tell you that we re a great couple. in fact we get the comment all the time "wow, you guys still actually like and love each other after 25 years."

Great if you can get away, but if you can't, no biggie, there are other ways to get couple time.

 

[marcyinPA]

And yet people somehow survive. Just because you don't go away for a weekend doesn't mean that you don't have couple time. We don't go away, we don't have that luxury, no relatives to watch our kids. Well we don just not close. And if you ask any of our friends, they will tell you that we re a great couple. in fact we get the comment all the time "wow, you guys still actually like and love each other after 25 years."

Great if you can get away, but if you can't, no biggie, there are other ways to get couple time.

ITA!! We don't get away as often as we'd like to. It irritates me that people assume that your marriage sucks if you don't go away for a week/weekend every year for your anniversary. How would they know what our marriage is like?!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

We don't go away. We have never been away without the kids. Our kids are young and we do not have anyone to watch them for that long of a time period. It is too much for anyone we know. If I could actually find a sitter it would cost us a fortune to go away overnight. We do other special things for each other. We're happy and have no complaints. Celebrations don't only mean a trip or dinner out.

 

[bellebud]

OP - your trips sound like you both really enjoy them! Good for you guys.

DH and I have never taken a trip w/out the kids (10yo and 8yo), and don't have any plans to. DH even says "when they're out of the nest, we'll still invite them to come, with their own families. If they want to - great... if not, we'll have that *alone time* other people talk about" (lol).

we also don't go to dinner alone - we always go as a family.

We've been together 19 years, married 18 years and still going strong.

 

[okeydokey]

of course if you have three kids, two years apart, that's 24 years with no couple time.

Who said they don't have any couple time?

 

[PixieTopaz]

We've done big places like New Orleans, Hawaii and New York City, but most trips are small towns around us, like Coral Gables, St. Augustine, Mount Dora.

?

Curious-we went to Mount Dora also(cute town)-where did you eat?

Went to the highly rated Pisces rising-and Dh's meal was not good(and very expeinsive)

 

[jodifla]

And yet people somehow survive. Just because you don't go away for a weekend doesn't mean that you don't have couple time. We don't go away, we don't have that luxury, no relatives to watch our kids. Well we don just not close. And if you ask any of our friends, they will tell you that we re a great couple. in fact we get the comment all the time "wow, you guys still actually like and love each other after 25 years."

Great if you can get away, but if you can't, no biggie, there are other ways to get couple time.

Of course, not every marriage survives. Not that a regular anniversary trip is the key. But careful consideration of your partner and your relationship and treating your marriage as the most important thing in your family certainly does, IMO. It's the foundation all else rests upon.

And in this case, I was responding to the comment that "we'll have plenty of time to get away once the kids are grown." That's a pretty big assumption, actually. Maybe you will, but 20 plus years is a long time and a lot can happen.

It was actually a James Dobson marriage book I was quoting from, which was oddly enough in our room at our getaway last weekend (The only book there besides the Bible). I don't care for the whole Focus on the Family angle but I was surprised when I picked it up how he talked about how little people consider the ramifications of their decisions in marriage.

And Dobson actually used the example that he counseled couples that if they had 3 children 3 years apart, it would be 27 years of having child-rearing responsibilities. And almost no couple he counseled had considered that fact, and they were all astonished by it, which surprised him.

And then I put book down on got on with the anniversary celebration. But he PP's comment made me think of it.

 

[jodifla]

Curious-we went to Mount Dora also(cute town)-where did you eat?

Went to the highly rated Pisces rising-and Dh's meal was not good(and very expeinsive)

That was about 15 years ago, so I don't recall. I remember it was really good, though!


I need to start writing all this stuff down!

 

[Missy1961]

My sisters do--and I'm glad they do! I'm the aunt that stays with the kids when mom & dad go away. One of my sisters lives here in NY, she & my BIL do at least a long weekend together every year. My other sister lives in VA, they don't go every year, but they try. I love it--I get to get the kids off to school, meet their teachers & maybe a few friends, feed them dinner--either cooking for them, taking them out or getting something delivered. I go watch them play soccer, help them do homework, and on and on. We have a great time together.

 

[SaraJayne]

But careful consideration of your partner and your relationship and treating your marriage as the most important thing in your family certainly does, IMO. It's the foundation all else rests upon.

I totally agree.

 

[mhsjax]

Of course, not every marriage survives. Not that a regular anniversary trip is the key. But careful consideration of your partner and your relationship and treating your marriage as the most important thing in your family certainly does, IMO. It's the foundation all else rests upon.

And in this case, I was responding to the comment that "we'll have plenty of time to get away once the kids are grown." That's a pretty big assumption, actually. Maybe you will, but 20 plus years is a long time and a lot can happen.

It was actually a James Dobson marriage book I was quoting from, which was oddly enough in our room at our getaway last weekend (The only book there besides the Bible). I don't care for the whole Focus on the Family angle but I was surprised when I picked it up how he talked about how little people consider the ramifications of their decisions in marriage.

And Dobson actually used the example that he counseled couples that if they had 3 children 3 years apart, it would be 27 years of having child-rearing responsibilities. And almost no couple he counseled had considered that fact, and they were all astonished by it, which surprised him.

And then I put book down on got on with the anniversary celebration. But he PP's comment made me think of it.

Not every marriage survives if the couples go on vacation together. I am a big fan of focus on the family, and I have taken parenting classes that teach that the parent relationship comes first and the kids are an extension of that. We practice this belief every day not just anniversaries. We demand time to ourselves every day, this started when they were babies. We go out quite a lot by ourselves.

I had my kids, I don't expect other people to watch them on long weekends for me and hubby to go on vacation, that isn't their responsibility, it is mine. If I wanted to travel without my kids then I wouldn't have them.

Like I said, I have done it once, DS was 11 years old. It had been 11 years since we had spent the night without him. I loved it as did the kids. DSIL has said that she will watch them again, but I don't feel that she should, they aren't her kids, they are mine. Rant over.

 

[DisneyJules]

I think this comes down to your financial situation. I'm sure a lot of people would LOVE to get away every year but simply can't afford it. Sometimes low key anniversary parties or just time together mean so much more, it's like you're more just focused on each other rather than focused on gifts or fancy dinners. Just my two cents!

 

[disykat]

Of course, not every marriage survives. Not that a regular anniversary trip is the key. But careful consideration of your partner and your relationship and treating your marriage as the most important thing in your family certainly does, IMO. It's the foundation all else rests upon.

.

Certainly. I'm still not getting how this equals being in a different town than the kids though.

Like others here, my dh and I seldom go on trips without our kids. A few overnights, two 3 day getaways, and most recently (now that they are teens) a week when they were busy elsewhere.

I'm still assuming that most people that do this regularly have family nearby that can watch their kids. I can't imagine asking friends to take our kids for more than a night or two.

 

[sunlver]

My sisters do--and I'm glad they do! I'm the aunt that stays with the kids when mom & dad go away. One of my sisters lives here in NY, she & my BIL do at least a long weekend together every year. My other sister lives in VA, they don't go every year, but they try. I love it--I get to get the kids off to school, meet their teachers & maybe a few friends, feed them dinner--either cooking for them, taking them out or getting something delivered. I go watch them play soccer, help them do homework, and on and on. We have a great time together.

You sound like a great aunt

 

[bellebud]

Certainly. I'm still not getting how this equals being in a different town than the kids though.

I'm still assuming that most people that do this regularly have family nearby that can watch their kids. I can't imagine asking friends to take our kids for more than a night or two.

We don't go w/out the kids (I already posted above), and we actually have both sides of almost all of our families local. There are many people we 'could' ask to take them, we just don't. They both have slept over cousins houses together, and friends houses separately.

Finances aren't the reason either - we go away as a family every 3-4 months - we have a goal to visit every state actually, with the kids.

We had almost 10 years alone together before the kids were born - and for most of those years we worked together too (so pretty much 24/7 togetherness) and lived in a teeny tiny apartment - with 3 dogs. A lot of people would say (and did say to us at the time) that's not good for a marriage too. Maybe it wouldn't have been good for those people's marriage, but ours is just fine. We've seen quite a few divorces since then, and those couples did lots of 'couple time' away from the kids. Still didn't help I guess.

But if a couple needs that 'work on our relationship' time together, away from the kids, I think it's wonderful they acknowledge that and they take it. Or if they don't "need" it, but just enjoy it, again, it's great for them to take it. It's just not for everyone. Same as some couples who the husband has his "den" he retreats to every evening, while the wife has her own space in the house - and they're both happy with that arrangement. And lots of successful marriages don't have that separate space within the house.

Different strokes for different folks, that's all.

 

[PlutoLuvr]

DH & I take a getaway every anniversary. We actually bought a timeshare in Orlando during our anniversary week so we can travel either to Orlando and enjoy WDW/USO/SW or trade it in for somewhere else.

Most of our friends -- with children and without -- take adult trips away on their anniversaries.

 

[jodifla]

DH & I take a getaway every anniversary. We actually bought a timeshare in Orlando during our anniversary week so we can travel either to Orlando and enjoy WDW/USO/SW or trade it in for somewhere else.

Most of our friends -- with children and without -- take adult trips away on their anniversaries.

Wow, that's a great commitment to anniversary getaways!

We did three times go to WDW on our anniversary. Twice alone, before our son, and we took him once. That time, we got a sitter to go out for the evening.

 

[jodifla]

My sisters do--and I'm glad they do! I'm the aunt that stays with the kids when mom & dad go away. One of my sisters lives here in NY, she & my BIL do at least a long weekend together every year. My other sister lives in VA, they don't go every year, but they try. I love it--I get to get the kids off to school, meet their teachers & maybe a few friends, feed them dinner--either cooking for them, taking them out or getting something delivered. I go watch them play soccer, help them do homework, and on and on. We have a great time together.

Wow, what a great aunt! And of course this gives you an insight into your nieces and nephews that most people don't get.

I have SUCH great memories of spending overnights with my aunt and Grandma in Minnesota. Those times really stand out to me as special.

Now my son does occasional overnights with HIS grandma, and they both love it. I hope he has those great special memories that I do of waking up at Grandma's house!

 

[katiebelle21]

My husband and I go away every year for our anniversary. We decided to do a vacation in lieu of anniversary and Valentine's gifts. We don't have kids, so that doesn't factor in for us. We love being able to make new memories, and to just get away and have fun!