Does Mom Ever have meltdowns while on trips?

[mmeb144]

I know that this will sound weird, but tell your DH what you need him to help with. My DH doesn't do well with hints, he needs the question asked of him, "Honey, will you check to make sure that DS has underwear?" Not,"Honey, I'm not sure that DS has packed his underwear." Questions vs Statement.

Also, build in naptimes/downtimes in your daily schedule. That helps a lot. My kids are 9 and 12, and we still plan on downtime during the day. (Mom and Dad need their naps!)

As for the other "butts", try to ignore them as best you can. You're on vacation, too.

Marie

 

[missydisney]

I though I was alone. Everyone always seems so organized. Mine was yesterday trying to get the house clean, pack and one more trip to WalMart. Now I can relax Now hopefully no car issues, no traffic, no rain. Who am I kidding. I should have two or three more before I get back. Hope we don't meet the butt lady. I hate when people do that. Have a great trip everyone.

 

[SKFamily]

This Friday night and into saturday we will have two extra kids in the house... 9 & 2. We had told friends we would watch their kids while they go appliance shopping, which involves over a 2 hour drive each way. So of course, they plan to stay overnight to make sure they can do everything they need to. The confusion came early on.... I thought they said the end of July. Then the "guys" went golfing one weekend and planned it for this weekend. Initially they had it planned so the kids would be here Saturday night. I asked dh how he expected me to finish getting ready for a major holiday which actually has us away from home for three weeks, with two extra kids in the house?? And we want to leave for my parent's house at about 8 AM... how is that going to happen and where are we going to meet our friends to give them back their kids?

And to add to it the guys thought they would golf Friday night to start with, but since one of them will be appliance shopping they changed it to Saturday evening. Excuse me?? I tried yesterday to explain that that does not work. Their response? Well, you can visit while we're golfing.. you get something out of it too. I don't want to "visit" on Saturday evening, I want to make sure everything is ready or we will drive 9 hours to my parent's house only to find on Tues morning when we go to leave for the airport, that the tickets are at home or something. GRRR.

 

[my3princes]

I agree with mmeb144. If you expect your dh to do something ask straight out, don't beat around the bush. My dh never gets any hints that I drop, but if I ask him directly he will make sure that it gets done. I told him that I don't want to nag, but he said that he doesn't consider it nagging if I just tell him straight out and leave it at that. I don't often have to ask twice. Hint dropping doesn't work with any of the males in my house.

 

[nordtrjr]

Hey Ladies - As a DH I can tell you that asking a male directly to do something is a much better way of getting it done. I can't tell you how often I've told my DW that men are not "mind readers" (even though you'd often like us to be). And because we often have different "objectives" what is often an obvious "hint" for a woman is not always the case for a man. Be clear about what you want or need. Sending "coded messages" often leaves to non-reception for us guys and frustrations for you ladies.

 

[SKFamily]

So maybe my idea of putting a list on the fridge today of all the things that need to be done this week along with names beside the items (who needs to do it) might work. I DO NOT "tell" my dh anything important anymore. I get the mmh hmm response and then an hour later he says I didn't tell him, or he didn't hear me. If I ask him if he heard me, or even request more confirmation than mmh hmm, he gets defensive.

The only thing I will tell him is I do not want him going golfing on Saturday - period. And if he does, he can pack his own damn suitcase. If it's not in the van at 8 AM Sunday morning, he goes without. Think that would be clear enough?

 

[Musky]

I think he should pack his own d*** suitcase whether he goes golfing or not (does he pack yours?). Oh...and...he absolutely should NOT go golfing.

Becky

 

[HenDuck]

One thing I do is give myself an extra day or two on each end of the vacation before we leave and after we come home to prepare for and recover from the trip. I find that I am less stressed out before the trip that way. I am also able to ease back into my regular routine and work if I have had a day or two to readjust.

This last trip, I got a massage before I left on vacation. It was like starting my vacation early! It put me in the vacation mood and helped me focus on packing!

I also tried to clean up the house a little so that we would have a fairly clean house to come home to.

I think for our next trip, I'll put a frozen lasagne in the freezer so we have something ready to prepare when we come home.

I don't know what to do about the "butts" except to be glad that mine isn't as big as the one that was in that picture!

 

[gigi1313]

we're not leaving from home 'til a monday, so that should give me the weekend to get all our stuff together, which should be a big plus... *AND* i arranged for someoen to come in and clean the house while we are away so we come home to a clean house! the perfect ending to a great vacation i hope )

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I'm planning on getting a massage the day before we leave because I've been stressing about this trip for months (even though I love all the planning I'm always second guessing myself). I want everything packed and done two days before so that for once I won't be a total lunatic the day before. My DH does pack his own suitcases, but I pack for myself and all three children and all the other stuff. He doesn't understand that it's stressful because I always make sure everything else is done (including buying him new things) so he only has to worry about throwing his clothes in a suitcase. I do it this way because if I left it up to him and kids would have clothes for three days for an eleven day trip and we wouldn't even have a band aid because he would never think that anyone would need medicine or anything like that on vacation! LOL!

 

[jjsmom]

A few days ago, I was listening to a travel expert on TV talk about trip stress and his best advice was not to put all the errands off til the last minute. This sounds so simple I wonder why it's taken me so long to figure it out. I'm guilty as charged. I wait til the very last day to go to the bank, stop the mail & paper, etc. He said the day of (if you're traveling late) or the day before should be spent resting, especially if you're driving.

 

[vhoffman]

I went to the airport yesterday to pick up a friend and saw the strangest sight. I'll bet no one will believe it and think I'm making it up, but its true!

I saw a lady with three toddlers, all looked to be under the age of five, and an infant in a stroller. The mom and all the kids looked like something out of a magazine--perfectly dressed, not a hair out of place, mom even had make up on (I gave that up after having my kids--just not enough time). Well, that's not all. I swear, the only thing this lady was carrying was a small shoulder strap purse. It looked like she had a small diaper bag in the stroller. None of the kids were carrying anything. What'w wrong with this picture? I wasn't the only one staring at her in amazement. Where's the mega purse with every essential known to mankind? Where's the mega diaper bag stuffed with diapers, wipes, powder, cream, changes of clothes, ziploc bags? Not to mention bottles, spoons, baby food jars, bibs? Where's the stuff for the other kids--extra clothes, jackets, sweaters, changes of clothes, comfort toys, toys to keep them busy on the trip, snacks, etc., etc.,. Is it just possible to travel with that many kids with just a small handbag and one small diaper bag?BTW,mom and the kids looked very relaxed and happy to start their trip (I don't know where they were going). Perhaps it is possible to get on a plane with four kids and not take all that stuff? Well, possibly? I'd be a nervous wreck thinking what would happen if I forgot something. Well, I wonder what Mommy Perfect looked like at the end of her flight? Either she was a very experienced traveler or totally inexperienced. Whatever, she didn't look stressed out like I usually am at the start of a trip. BTW, this wonder mom didn't have a dh along. I wonder if that helps or hurts?

 

[SKFamily]

With three kids I'd say she knows what is "needed" and what can actually stay behind, and only hauls the essentials for her family. Or, she had a dh somewhere in the airport with the rest of it.

Anyway..

So maybe my idea of putting a list on the fridge today of all the things that need to be done this week along with names beside the items (who needs to do it) might work.

It worked! The list is almost done, everything that can be ahead of time. No nagging, getting cranky, anything. OK, the X Strength Midol PMS might have helped, and the fact that I asked him to pick it up for me.... but still things got done with no problem.

 

[barb45]

vhoffman - the perfect mommy probably had a dozen haggard looking servants and nannies carrying all those essentials somewhere behind her. Otherwise it's just not possible. Or maybe they were dropping someone off or picking someone up and were just there for 10 minutes and all the stuff was in the car.

 

[HenDuck]

...sounds like a Stepford Wife to me.

 

[vhoffman]

It never occurred to me that Perfect Mommy wasn't flying, perhaps just there to pick someone up (where would she put him with all those kids?) However, just for me and my two, a day trip to the grocery store involves more stuff!!!Maybe they're were a bunch of robots,? BTW, I wasn't the only one staring at her in amazement!

 

[macraven]

the notorius meltdown mommie here has solved her problem for the next trip. i am running away from home and going to florida solo.............
i can't believe i am actually doing this.
shhhhhhhhh don't tell my kids though...........

i am meeting a cousin for a few days inbetween my disney and universal trip so i have someone to hang with for some of the days. unless cousin cancels......ugh......

too many disney and universal trips where the boys meltdown and i play peace maker and everything else rolled up into one. this time i am only taking care of me. of course this has its down side. have to make up dinners and freeze them for the fam while i am gone. will probably be up to midnight before i leave doing last minute laundry.....you know how that goes.
no melt downs for me on this next trip.......going solo and looking forwards to it...... i should feel guilty...

raven

 

[jobanana]

This past april was my first trip as a mom and my first melt down at Disney. I did ALL the planning since I am the mom. Haha. It was me, 4 year old D, Daughters father, and my friend. Last full day at Disney we're eating breakfest at the food court and I'm crying. Not because we're leaving the next day but not having the experience it should have been. It's like people forgot this was a trip mostly for a 4 year old. She was better behaved then her father. I told no one forced you to come. UGH! He didn't out and out act like a jerk. Just had a bored look on his face most of the time. This is the same man I went to Disney 7 years ago who ran around there like a big kid. Maybe old age is catching up w/ him at 30? He's not invited this next sept. so on him.

 

[lovesdumbo]

Well, I can't say that I've actually had a meltdown but do share all of your frustrations! #1 thing I did to avoid the meltdowns on my first trip with DH & kids (4,3,1) is bring another non-family member adult along. I don't know how I would have survived without her! And both DH & I were much nicer to each other with her around. Also in Oct 02 she went with me & DD(3) while I was 6 months pregnant with baby #3. DH stayed home with wild little boy. That trip really taught me how to slow down and just enjoy the trip. On the 1st day my very shy little girl saw her first characters-the penguins from Mary Poppins and noone else was around. She ran up to them screaming that they needed to give her a hug. I took her photo and then started to rush her because I knew she wanted to ride the carosel and they were loading it. Well, we missed the carosel anyways and I realized right then & there that the carosel wasn't going anywhere. I needed to slow down and let her enjoy the trip. And being 6 months pregnant (and carrying very low) I was up for rushing around. We didn't even make it to AK that trip. I figured she'd remember more if we repeated her favorites at MK rather than just over expose her to more things.

As far as planning I do it all but thats OK with me. DH isn't crazy about Disney and doesn't even want to hear about it-what would I do without Dis?. And of course packing is part of the planning. I start way ahead of time-easier to do living in the north and going to Disney in fall/winter so I can pack my t's and shorts way ahead of time. DH finds packing very stressful. He can't decide what to take, how much to take, .....and he only packs his own clothes-the night before. We don't go for another 100+ days but I'm already thinking about what to take-and what to send down to the resort ahead of time.

 

[buckler]

Moms don't go on "vacations". We go on "business trips".