Does it bug you when strangers touch your baby?

[monorailsilver]

Yes it does. I have told people not to touch my children when they were babies & my ds has a severe dairy allergy that if someone had any form of dairy on thier hands/lips & touched him he would break out in hives (just imagine what happens when he accidently has dairy).

One day I snapped at a grocery bagger when she went to touch I think my youngest about 2 years ago when she was still under 6 months old. BTW, my youngest is my 3rd child.

I told her that her hands were filthy from bagging all the groceries & touching everything there & how did I know if she didn't just go to the bathroom & not wash her hands or if she just picked her nose or put her fingers in her mouth.

I think the cashier was in shock that I said that but oh well, it is my kid & I didn't want her germs.

And yes, in the hospital & for about the first month or two if you wanted to touch my child #1, 2 or 3 you had to wash your hands & believe me I made sure you did. I am a nurse & germs are scary. And I nursed each one of my kids so they were getting my immunities but you can't be to careful in this day & age.

 

[belle&sebastiansmom]

I totally get the strangers's baby thing and would never allow my children to touch a child they don't know but am blown away by the fact that some would not let friend's or relatives touch their baby. Would you hug a friend or relative or shake their hand . That's all Im saying, I get the stranger thing but for the life of me do not understand why you wouldnt want a friend or family member to touch baby!

I don't remember reading anything on here where anyone said they wouldn't want their baby or child touched by a friend or relative.

For me, it comes down to boundaries (and yes, often, germs.) When a child comes up to my teething infant and grabs his hand to "play" with him, or say hello, then he puts his whole fist in his mouth, I have a problem with that. Yes, I think that kids need to be taught to respect other's boundaries.


My friends hold my son all the time, and most of them have the common sense to tell they own children, "touch his feet, but not his hands." It's only the one mother who didn't seem to care that her son was coughing all over my child and grabbing at my son. This boy was only three, he didn't know better, but, imo, he needed to be taught personal boundaries and personal space.

ITA with another poster who said that babies are not just playthings to be enjoyed at anyone's whim. No child, especially an infant, should be grabbed and poked at just because an older child is interested in what this little creature is. I'm not a new and overprotective parent, but this is the way I feel about my child being touched.

 

[Robinrs]

For those of you that are okay with stranger touching your kid , would you be okay with a stranger touching you?

Depends on how it's done, of course. The intentions of touching a child and an adult are completely different.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Depends on how it's done, of course. The intentions of touching a child and an adult are completely different.

That is true but let's say you have long silky hair and I am enamored of it. Can I walk up to you and start playing with it because it looks so soft and shiny? I am not a weirdo, I just like shiny hair. Would you feel okay with that or would you prefer I wasn't in your personal space? I am not flaming at all but I have had people do and say some really weird things to me. I have some sort of invisible magnet that only the strange can see.

 

[NMAmy]

For those of you that are okay with stranger touching your kid , would you be okay with a stranger touching you?

Well, sure. I mean, as long as it wasn't sexual, I don't care. I shake hands with strangers at work. Someone else might touch my arm to get my attention. Doesn't bother me at all. I'd prefer they skip the baby talk, though.

 

[dogluva]

Yes it does. I have told people not to touch my children when they were babies & my ds has a severe dairy allergy that if someone had any form of dairy on thier hands/lips & touched him he would break out in hives (just imagine what happens when he accidently has dairy).

One day I snapped at a grocery bagger when she went to touch I think my youngest about 2 years ago when she was still under 6 months old. BTW, my youngest is my 3rd child.

I told her that her hands were filthy from bagging all the groceries & touching everything there & how did I know if she didn't just go to the bathroom & not wash her hands or if she just picked her nose or put her fingers in her mouth.

I think the cashier was in shock that I said that but oh well, it is my kid & I didn't want her germs.

And yes, in the hospital & for about the first month or two if you wanted to touch my child #1, 2 or 3 you had to wash your hands & believe me I made sure you did. I am a nurse & germs are scary. And I nursed each one of my kids so they were getting my immunities but you can't be to careful in this day & age.

wow-how do you deal with your patients. Do you snap at them as well? Do you ask if they picked their nose if they try to touch you? I just cannot imagine what you did to this poor woman's self-esteem by implying she didn't wash her hands after she used the bathroom. I wonder if you would do this to someone in a different position, if it wasn't some lowly grocery bagger.

 

[BoyLovesBuzz]

Depends on how it's done, of course. The intentions of touching a child and an adult are completely different.

you hope.

 

[BoyLovesBuzz]

Well, sure. I mean, as long as it wasn't sexual, I don't care. I shake hands with strangers at work. Someone else might touch my arm to get my attention. Doesn't bother me at all. I'd prefer they skip the baby talk, though.

Usually when you shake hands its a mutual invitation, characterized by extending ones hand. Touching your arm to get your attention is hardly the same as touching a baby in an unsolicited or unwarranted act of affection.

Just becuase its not sexual doesn't mean its not creepy.

 

[Va-bear]

For those of you that are okay with stranger touching your kid , would you be okay with a stranger touching you?

I think that babies and adults are so miles apart in how people see and react to them that this question doesnt apply, in my mind. I dont mind when people touch me in appropriate ways - a hand shake, a touch on the arm, or a pat on the shoulder, etc. etc. And often find it endearing and thoughtful - and as I mentioned before, kind of old-fashioned and sweet in this world of being distant folks.

But, babies are a whole other thing for many and its sad to see that those of us who get genuinely excited and thrilled to see a baby now need to be worried that we are upsetting the parent.... I never knew there were so many that this upsets. I think of how often I have gently touched a babies foot, because there is nothing like a babies foot in this world (and yes, babies I dont know at all....) but just a small quick touch because its so amazing. I do feel bad that I may have unknowingly upset someone.

I think of the sweet grandpa's and interested teens, that seem to be interested in so very little, that took admiringly at a baby near them - I love to see this as much as seeing the babies. Seeing my 9 year old wave at a little baby when its not cool to wave at anybody else in the neighborhood... It just seems to bring out the wonder and uninhibited joy in people we so rarely see... Babies do that to people (adults dont and thats why we dont usually go up and touch adults feet.) (And of of these touches are what I consider small, not near the face touches - nobody wants inappropriate touching, period.) I will miss feeling so excited to see/touch little baby feet from now on....

 

[NMAmy]

Usually when you shake hands its a mutual invitation, characterized by extending ones hand. Touching your arm to get your attention is hardly the same as touching a baby in an unsolicited or unwarranted act of affection.

Just becuase its not sexual doesn't mean its not creepy.

We'll have to agree to disagree. I don't consider someone touching a baby's hand or foot or even giving a kiss on the head to be "creepy." In fact, I think it's sad that many posters appear to jump to the wrong conclusions when people are trying to make a connection with their adorable babies.

And, for the record, as I stated before, I'm a mom but I am NOT a baby person and rarely even touch babies I know if I can get out of it.

 

[DevilDuckie]

I make it a rule to ask before getting within 2 feet of a baby. Except my friend Jen's babies- they're fair game for swooping up and absconding with.

I smacked someone's hand once for trying to touch me when I was pregnant. My belly is NEVER open for fondling by strangers!

 

[Wishing on a star]

A baby does not have the ability to protect their own personal boundaries...

An adult does... If they are up for a hand-shake or a pat on the shoulder... then that is THEIR decision...

a baby does not have the ability to maintain and protect their personal space.. It is up to the parents to do this.

Just because there is nothing like the joy it brings some stranger to touch a baby.. That does NOT make it okay... My baby does not exist for YOUR gratification.

If that offends you, then be offended.. My baby, and my comfort zone, are more important to me than a strangers self gratification.

An adult should be free to decide if they want to be touched.. and so should a child... you are not OWED the personal gratification and pleasure that you might find in physically touching a perfect stranger. (be it adult, pregnant woman, child, baby...)

If you can't have the respect to ASK first, then that is nothing but down-right RUDE.

 

[ilisao]

I think that babies and adults are so miles apart in how people see and react to them that this question doesnt apply, in my mind. I dont mind when people touch me in appropriate ways - a hand shake, a touch on the arm, or a pat on the shoulder, etc. etc. And often find it endearing and thoughtful - and as I mentioned before, kind of old-fashioned and sweet in this world of being distant folks.

But, babies are a whole other thing for many and its sad to see that those of us who get genuinely excited and thrilled to see a baby now need to be worried that we are upsetting the parent.... I never knew there were so many that this upsets. I think of how often I have gently touched a babies foot, because there is nothing like a babies foot in this world (and yes, babies I dont know at all....) but just a small quick touch because its so amazing. I do feel bad that I may have unknowingly upset someone.

I think of the sweet grandpa's and interested teens, that seem to be interested in so very little, that took admiringly at a baby near them - I love to see this as much as seeing the babies. Seeing my 9 year old wave at a little baby when its not cool to wave at anybody else in the neighborhood... It just seems to bring out the wonder and uninhibited joy in people we so rarely see... Babies do that to people (adults dont and thats why we dont usually go up and touch adults feet.) (And of of these touches are what I consider small, not near the face touches - nobody wants inappropriate touching, period.) I will miss feeling so excited to see/touch little baby feet from now on....

Is there anyone that said you could never touch a baby? Because I didn't read that at all. I am seeing that you ask permission. You are an adult. That shouldn't be too hard to do.

 

[ilisao]

A baby does not have the ability to protect their own personal boundaries...

An adult does... If they are up for a hand-shake or a pat on the shoulder... then that is THEIR decision...

a baby does not have the ability to maintain and protect their personal space.. It is up to the parents to do this.

Just because there is nothing like the joy it brings some stranger to touch a baby.. That does NOT make it okay... My baby does not exist for YOUR gratification.
If that offends you, then be offended.. My baby, and my comfort zone, are more important to me than a strangers self gratification.

An adult should be free to decide if they want to be touched.. and so should a child... you are not OWED the personal gratification and pleasure that you might find in physically touching a perfect stranger. (be it adult, pregnant woman, child, baby...)

If you can't have the respect to ASK first, then that is nothing but down-right RUDE.

Bravo!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Is there anyone that said you could never touch a baby? Because I didn't read that at all. I am seeing that you ask permission. You are an adult. That shouldn't be too hard to do.

Exactly... the title of this thread specifically refers to 'stangers'.

Anybody who thinks they have the automatic right to touch a stranger without asking, or receiving clear non-verbal clues, to determine whether it is welcomed.. is simply WAY out of line.

 

[Va-bear]

Is there anyone that said you could never touch a baby? Because I didn't read that at all. I am seeing that you ask permission. You are an adult. That shouldn't be too hard to do.

I certainly could, and have, but haven't always. That was part of my point - that babies bring out a side to people that includes joy and excitement - honeslty - until, this thread it hadnt really seemed like something to ask. But, I probably wouldnt because from what I see here, a fair amount would say no - and I can do without that stress. Its just a touch to a foot.... I will just skip it in the future.

 

[Pete's Mom]

For those of you that are okay with stranger touching your kid , would you be okay with a stranger touching you?

That depends. Is he hot looking?

Seriously, I wouldn't wig out if someone came up and touched my arm, shook my hand, or tapped me on the shoulder.

Someone coming up and saying "Hello, can I touch you? or "Hello, can I touch your baby?", now THAT'S creepy!

 

[NMAmy]

Exactly... the title of this thread specifically refers to 'stangers'.

Anybody who thinks they have the automatic right to touch a stranger without asking, or receiving clear non-verbal clues, to determine whether it is welcomed.. is simply WAY out of line.

Actually, the question was "Does it bug you when strangers touch your baby?" It didn't ask, "As a stranger, do you go around touching other people's babies?" And many of us said, that no, it didn't bother us and expressed surprise that it did bother so many. It doesn't mean we're running around grabbing a stranger's baby. Merely that we think that sharing the undoubted wonderfulness of our child with those who think they're pretty wonderful, too, isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I never said that a parent doesn't have every right in the world to keep strangers away if that's their desire. It's just different to me. And, hey, this thread educated a lot of us that some parents are vehemently against it. So now we know.

 

[ilisao]

I certainly could, and have, but haven't always. That was part of my point - that babies bring out a side to people that includes joy and excitement - honeslty - until, this thread it hadnt really seemed like something to ask. But, I probably wouldnt because from what I see here, a fair amount would say no - and I can do without that stress. Its just a touch to a foot.... I will just skip it in the future.

I guess I find it odd that an adult gets so excited in the presence of a baby that they forget common courtesy.

 

[Va-bear]

I guess I find it odd that an adult gets so excited in the presence of a baby that they forget common courtesy.

Well, that is a shame that you find it odd - sincerely. I didnt forget my common courtesy, as it is not common in my family or most of my friends to have to ask permission to touch a babies foot (and I know you mean "strangers" but we applied that to them too...) So, its just a difference.

As stated by NMAmy, now we know that it bothers some, and as I stated above, I will change my behavior. But again, it was not 'common" knowledge to a lot of us before...and it wasnt our "fault" as most of the folks I know dont seem to react like this.