Does coming to this board ever demoralize you?

[addicted_to_WDW]

This is something that I've been debating bringing up here.

I am thrilled at everyone's success. When people reach goal, or get a clippie, or make it into onderland I think it's an awesome thing and am genuinely happy for them.

Then I start to think, "why is my loss so much slower?" and, "it's not fair that other people seem to have such an easy time."

On Sunday, I will reach 150 days cheat free. Nothing passes my lips that's not on plan. I'm having success, and am proud of myself, but there are people who are losing at such a rapid pace it makes the irrational side of myself think that I'm a failure.

I have to admit that I don't come to WISH as often as a result of my feelings. Then I start feeling petty because I'm jealous and it becomes a vicious cycle.

Am I alone? Please tell me that I'm not or I will feel even more petty.

 

[ADisneyMom]

Hi Jen,

I can see why you would feel that way. It seems everybody is staying on track and reaching their goals.

I'm sure most people would tell you that it took them a long time to get to that point and by the threads it may look easy ,however, living each day doing the right thing is not always easy.

Have you seen the threads regarding Halloween? Some of us are struggling because of all the the items that will be available and we must use our willpower even more so. Then we have more eating holidays coming up which is more of a struggle.

So what I'm saying is, it appears to me people are excited and want to share when they reach a milestone but if we were with them on a daily basis we would see it was not such a easy time.

I don't think you are being petty, I think you are happy for others and should remember that the reason we are on this board is the support we get from each to make it easier to reach our goals.


I wish you much continued success.

ADisneyMom

 

[kasar]

Even though we may not admit it, we all suffer from bits of envy every now and then. Please don't allow yourself to get discouraged or even quit your plan because of it, though.

When I first logged onto these boards I really expected to see what I've come to expect from the WW meetings that I've been to: a bunch of women sitting around talking about losing and gaining the same 4 pounds over and over. Instead, I was very surprised to find all these people with such wonderful success stories - I can't believe how many people have lost close to 100 pounds! I can't believe that someone else is the same as me! Instead of feeling bad, I'm glad to say that I've finally become motivated to think that maybe I can do it too.

I know it's slow going... you can get through this. Just think, even if it's slow, it's still something. I'd say stick with it, log on occasionally to get some inspiration, talk to friends struggling too and keep on keeping on. At least that's my plan. Good luck.

 

[nativetxn]

{{{HUGS}}} Coming here doesn't demoralize me it fires me up.

When I first took the challenge my weight loss stopped abruptly and stayed the same for 6 weeks. I lost inches instead of pounds. At first I felt a little jealous and impatient with myself because I wasn't losing as quickly as others and I sure wasn't changing my clipart every few days like some did.

Then I realized that I had made a lifetime change in my eating habits. I'm not going to stop eating this way even after I hit goal, right? So why get impatient and frustrated over my timeline? Realizing that gave me a better attitude and took all of my impatience and frustration away.

I feel bad that you don't visit WISH because you feel demoralized You definitely are <b>not</b> a failure! Look at that gorgeous 40 pound loss clipart in your signature.

You took the challenge on 6/5 and you've lost 40 pounds, that's an average of 2 pounds a week (it's been about 20 weeks, right?). That is steady, dependable <b>success</b>. You're doing great!

How much weight do you think you <i>should</i> be losing each week?

 

[tiggerlover]

I can understand where you are coming from, it is hard sometimes to see people being so successful and not feel like you are lagging behind. I have to honestly say that there have been times that I have felt pangs of envy, but like you, I am very happy for the accomplishments that others are making. Sometimes I see folks lossing rapidly and I think why can't that be me, but then I remember that every persons body is different and every body will lose weight in a different manner. Also, for me, this is a lifestyle change and I feel if I lose too rapidly I won't be able to keep it off, so I eat like I am eating for a lifetime change, I don't deprive myself. I don't know how long you have been on Atkins, but I see you have a beautiful 40 pound clippie, so you are doing something right, but in your own time. {{{HUGS}}}

 

[catherine]

I am sorry that coming to WISH demoralizes you You have done such a good job losing 40lbs. Please don't think of yourself as a failure. Yours is a success story. Everybody loses at a different rate and I don't think that losing weight is easy for anybody. I know for me it is a constant battle. I don't do Atkins or WW's so I get most of my support and motivation from WISHers, so I try to come to WISH everyday. I look at my weight loss like this, it took me years to put this weight on and it is going to take as long as it takes for me to get it off again. All that I can do is stay OP, drink my water, and exercise.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Ok, is someone here trying to tell me something??? This is the 2nd post that really got to me today and I can so relate.

I don't think there's anything petty about the way your feeling. It's just natural. You've got alot to be proud of -- it's just that sometimes the road is longer and harder than we'd like it to be.

As for me, I'm jealous of all of you who've managed to stick it out and do such a wonderfuljob. And at the same time I'm incredibly proud.

 

[ead79]

I totally understand how you're feeling. What I finally decided is that I just can't compare myself to others. Some people do Atkins, which tends to have a much faster loss rate than WW, and some do WW like me, but just lose more quickly than I do. I will share my story with you, so you can know you're not alone.

I started doing WW in July of 2000 (yep, that's right, over 3 years ago). I lost about 20 pounds and was within 6 pounds of my goal weight. For some reason I lost most of my motivation and slowly started putting the weight back on. I managed to gain back all the weight I lost plus about 15 more pounds, all while still being an active WW member. I was determined not to give up though, so I kept going to meetings. However, my heart just wasn't in it, and I didn't journal, really count points, or anything at all. I would say that I just sort of "played" at weight loss. I realized a few months ago that I really do want to loose this weight, and I couldn't keep playing at it. I became committed again. Unfortunately, my body had become so used to yo-yoing that it has been a real struggle to take the weight off. This time I just refuse to give up. I still have setbacks (sometimes I know they are coming, and sometimes my body just doesn't cooperate and tries to return to its yo-yo days), but I keep at it.

A good loss for me tends to be much less than for most of the WISHers who check in. I am thrilled when I lose a pound, whereas some people routinely lose over 2 a week. But I've decided that I only have to worry about myself. This isn't a race, it's a life changing process. And it's a process I'm going to win. I know you can do it too. Now that I've changed my outlook, I'm not discouraged when I come here. I'm just happy to celebrate the success of others, knowing they will be happy for me with each new clippie until I finally get that beautiful red one. Don't worry about everyone else, just focus on how far you've come. I think your clippie looks fabulous on you!

 

[JenEeyore]

Please don't feel discouraged. I think 2lbs a week average loss is WONDERFUL! Actually they say that it is more healthy to lose slowly and steadily. You are more likely to keep the weight off that way, and it gives your body a chance to catch up with the loss so you will get less "flabby". Plus you no doubt have been losing inches as well, and that is what really counts in how you look. I think 40 lbs at any timeframe is FABULOUS .

I had lost 50 lbs previously with WW and it took me close to a year as I remember, but afterwards I also did pretty well at keeping it off because I had engrained healthy habits by taking it slow. Then I had DS and part of it came back on, but I am working at it again to get back down.

I can understand where it gets frustrating to see others lose quicker, but it is a marathon, not a sprint - remember that!

Keep up the good work! And post whenever you feel frustrated - that's what this group is good for...support during your down times.

Jen

 

[KathyTX]

Oh, Jen!!!

I think you're doing a FABULOUS job. 40 pounds is a tremendous loss.

It is true that we have a few WISHERS who have posted huge losses. But those really haven't been any faster than your loss! And they haven't been easy losses. We see the steady clippie changes here, but we don't see the really aggressive exercising and tons of energy that are being poured into this consistently for many, many months by the likes of PartyofSix, Geetey, Elise, and the other really successful losers.

I like to look at their success as what is possible if we REALLY work hard at this. I know I haven't worked as hard as I could, especially when it comes to exercise. I've averaged a little less than a pound and a half since joining, and I'm pretty comfortable with that rate...

There are just so many individual factors that play into our weight loss success, it's really not fair to compare ourselves to anyone else. Age, amount we need to lose, general fitness and activity level, medications, food likes and dislikes, whether we have kids at home, overall energy level, work schedules, emotional stress, and so many more- so many things create our individual environments and challenges.

Probably none of that helped... but I try to think of this as NOT a race, NOT a competition, just a bunch of friends trying to boost each other up and help each other learn to live healthier.

(And if this WERE a race, you'd be one of those leading the pack! And no, it's not petty to feel the way you do. I think you're just frustrated because you want to push yourself to be superwoman, and the body's not cooperating!)

 

[elisebutt]

Heck, I reached goal and I felt a little petty and jealous some of the time too. we're only human!!!

You are only 20 or so less lbs away from what I got to. Don't punish yourself please, you WILL do it!!!

I think my loss was so rapid because I just stopped doing all the bad stuff and kicked my body's metabolism back to my pre-30 levels. Some people naturally have a slower metabolsim so they lose it a little slower - it's not that you're doing anything wrong, it's just the way your body's made.

Also I don't think it's a coincidence that I put on most of the weight when I got married and as soon as he left the weight started coming off - LOL.

 

[helenk]

I have only been on this board a short while but I have never felt demoralized.
We all lose at a different rate. I have lost 32 pounds since May, but only 6 since registering here. My hope is to lose the weight and keep if off permanantly, so I want to lose slowly.
I have found that exercise is really a key to losing pounds and inches. Coming here has really helped me keep on track (I lurked for months before registering for the weight loss).
Hopefully you feel good about coming here most of the time, do not get discouraged.

 

[Disney_1derland]

Yes, I can see how you feel this way. There are several people here who started around the time I did and are on the same plan and they are so much further ahead of me. Sometimes I think it's because I'm not as dedicated as I should be, what am I doing wrong, why can't I do this the way they are? But, for the most part I realize that they are doing their best and sharing their success to help keep me motivated. I am doing my best and YOU are doing your best.

This is an individual journey that we are walking. It helps to know there are others on the path and that occasionally we may cross ways with them, but it's a solitary walk to a place of health and joy.

You have to do what is best for you, but never forget that WISH is here whenever you need us and we are always here to pick each other up and dust each other off. We can all do this, but we all have feelings of self-doubt from time to time.


Many hugs to you ~ We can all do this together, no matter the length of our journeys!

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

Thanks you guys, for understanding and for sharing. I don't want it to seem like I'm complaining at all about WISH...this is a wonderful place. The feelings are coming from within myself. It's comforting to know that others have had these fleeting thoughts.

 

[Beanie]

I can honestly understand why you would think like that...I had stalled on Atkins for almost two months a little bit back and while I was absolutely thrilled that everyone else was losing, I couldn't help but wonder why I was not getting anywhere.

I do agree with Kath though...I find coming here more of a motivator then anything...I know you cannot help whether you lose quickly or slowly, but when I read posts about losses and such, it only makes me try that much harder! LOL I don't know, it works for me, but honestly, I know exactly how you feel!!

Hugs!

 

[PartyofSix]

I just wanted to jump in here and tell you we all struggle. I feel so dang guilty when i see those blast HAVE YOU EXERCISED TODAY POST they drive me nuts!! I've asked them to cut it out be they just won't do it. So i feel the guilt of not exercizing like i should. So we all have things that push our buttons for the best really. One day i will get off my hinny just so i can post on THERE thread YUP one day. Anyways i think your doing a jam up job of loosing girl. I've been on this journey since day one well jan 29th 2003 to be exact. At first i was blowing by the pounds (even skipped a few numbers on my way)LOL. Now i'm creeping along like a snail but i'm okay with that. I'm not on a diet. I'm training myself how to eat like i could eat the same way the rest of my life. I don't have to not eat this or that. And i'll admit to playing around with the maintance gods that be with my current weight. It's just okay the way you feel is okay your normal we all have "thoughts" like that. But you come back here and you voice your opinons and let us all help each other. This is not an easy thing to do and I think so highly of each and every person here that i see week, after week, month after month and a few handfuls i'll be celebrating our 1st year WISH anniversary with soon. I wish you all the best on your journey just remember it is a journey your's will be special and unique just like you.

 

[mum4jenn]

I don't think losing 40 pounds is anything to be upset about at all!!! You have done an excellent job. Remember that everyone loses at a different pace. You might be surprised one day to look at the scale and see that you have lost alot!! I got a bit discouraged when my DH passed me for a while in weight loss. He started one month after me and some other people that started after me and even around the same time as me have passed me before. I had one great loss week a few weeks back so I passed mh dh again but he has been stalled. I am sure he will pass me again. I just have to look at far I have come in order to not give up.

 

[geetey]

Originally posted by addicted_to_WDW
On Sunday, I will reach 150 days cheat free. Nothing passes my lips that's not on plan. I'm having success, and am proud of myself, but there are people who are losing at such a rapid pace it makes the irrational side of myself think that I'm a failure.

First, Jen! Then, I would like to point out that you are not having success, you ARE a success!!!! ANYONE who can go 150 days cheat free is successful! Even if the pounds aren't flying off of you, your body appreciates your new healthy lifestyle so very much! CONGRATS to you!!

This whole weight loss thing is rather frustrating, isn't it? I mean, for me, I think I have my plan figured out, I have my exercise figured out, I am collecting clippies on a monthly basis and then WHAM! Things stop. I look around shocked. I take a deep breath, figure it is a plateau and prepare to start moving again. Nothing... nothing... nothing.... Since August 18th, I have lost 2.5 pounds total. Whatsupwiththat?!?!

I don't have the answers, but I do know that I am going to keep trying. Just like you, Jen, I know we can do this. It's okay to look around and think what the heck! Each of us are an inspiration to someone here though. You hold a highly coveted clippie, girlfriend, so show it proudly because one day, you WILL trade it in for a new one because you ARE a success and a special part of WISH!

 

[kestral]

I just want to thank you for starting this thread, and saying what flits through my heart sometimes too.

It seems to me you are aware of your success in changing your lifestyle - congrats on that and the resulting loss

But our emotions are complicated, aren't they? And sometimes not what others "think" we should be feeling. So thank you for sharing your honest feelings - it validates them - validates mine too. Helps us get past the negative feelings. If some one says "oh no, don't think that or don't feel that" my tendancy is to hold on to those feelings. But the acceptance and support on this board is fantastic.

So thank you for starting this thread!:happy1:

 

[lmhall2000]

First!!! You are doing the BEST thing by sharing these feelings!!!

Second....Have you noticed that the weigh in board has highs and lows in attendance?- I betcha that when people have big losses they're more than likely to feel motivated to post- if they have a gain or a maintenance it's hard to get excited about it and post it- but they SHOULD!!! (So realize that for every big loss you're seeing there's probably a dozen or more out there that gained or maintained)

Third...am I right in hearing that you've lost 40 pounds???? And losing steadily???? Do you know how many folks would like to be in your shoes???

Fourth....I can tell ya it is not easy to lose the big pounds- I've lost 51 pounds since April 1st and I have had to walk an average of 20 miles a week to get it off and slimfasting the first few months. Not only do I walk 4+ miles 6 days a week- but I do it at 5:30 am!!!! I homeschool our 3 precious children ages 8,5,4 and I have a house, yard and dog to keep up with! This has not been easy but it's been WORTH it!!! Every ounce that comes off is a success- even if there's a 2 week window between them

And lastly- YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION!!!!! If you hesitate to come to WISH- think of how many others who have your similar struggles will feel? They won't have your experiences to fall back on and say if she can do it I can do it!! Part of WISH is knowing that not only are you getting the encouragement you need but you're encouraging others without even knowing it most the time. You're a winner sweetie and a big loser!!!

Tara