Does anyone NOT have a DH help out?

[Tigger&Belle]

My thing is WHY should I have to ask? Am I the only adult who lives here?

This is what I ask myself (and my DH) on a regular basis. He seems to think that it comes natural for me to look around and see what needs to be done. It doesn't--I have to think about it just like anyone else has to. And it's not like he doesn't care about eating dinner, having a picked up house, etc. As a matter of fact, in general he cares about it more than I do.

Thankfully he's a good guy and I'll keep him around .

 

[raammartin]

Katelyn 1.17.05
Hayley 8.16.05

Amy, both of your babies were born this year??

 

[poohandwendy]

Actually I think they all didn't want to say anything because she had just blown her nose in the hankie and it was sitting on top...

LOL....that too Jeff...

 

[poohandwendy]

Because I don't want a divorce.


It's not a matter of being allowed, it's the way he is. It is a psychological condition that he refuses treatment for, the choice he makes, so I am helpless in this situation.

Because I wanted to get back home...today. He would have at first stood there gaping at me, then went into a panic, would have had to fill out several envelopes until he got one right, then would have been angry with me for the rest of the WEEK for "humiliating" him like that.

Again, I haven't "allowed" anything and these changes certainly have not taken place with my permission. He has a mental illness (OCD at the very least, with a healthy dose of general anxiety, agoraphobia, and depression thrown in for good measure)



I know you aren't, but I'm trying to make the point that it isn't always just a matter of "housetraining" your man.

I agree, but this is where I'm finding the biggest challenge.

Wow, I am stunned. This is the first thread where I have encountered anyone making fun of their spouse for problems associated with an untreated mental illness. Thanks for the clarification. Sounds like you are helpless and he is too. I am so sorry, that is very sad. Hopefully, he will be able to someday get the help that he needs.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Wow, I am stunned. This is the first thread where I have encountered anyone making fun of their spouse for problems associated with an untreated mental illness. Thanks for the clarification. Sounds like you are helpless and he is too. I am so sorry, that is very sad. Hopefully, he will be able to someday get the help that he needs.

I don't know the situation of course, but what you might be thinking is making fun is her frustration with her husband for not finding out what is going on with himself. I know that my DH is forgetting things a lot and I really want him to go get a physical, but he hasn't and I don't think he sees the importance (he says he doesn't have time, but he's really just procrastinating). It's frustrating for me to see this happening.

 

[MinnyGranny62]

response to PoohandWendy.....yes you are picking
on me. But I don't really take anything toooooo seriously. And
to graygables......thank you I feel the same way. Don't get
me wrong I do love my DH dearly but it is the little thing that
upset me. Like helping around the house, painting and moving
things, and etc etc. I could go on forever.

Never said that I would like to change things but do a little
help now and then. Maybe I need a break and go to see
the MOUSE.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

One thing that might help motivate his is to find out how much it would cost to hire out for some of these things. See how much it would cost to have someone paint, clean, do odd jobs, etc. Either he'll realize how much things cost and decide to pitch in, or you can at least pay someone else and get the things done.

 

[MinnyGranny62]

great idea....will try this. Thanks

 

[Tigger&Belle]

How's it going with your husband?

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

Wow this thread lasted a long time! And YES he still does not help out!

 

[MinnyGranny62]

My DH has been helping out lately. Do you think that it is because
of this thread? I did tell him a little bit of it. I have been
just asking him to help instead of thinking that he should.

Thank for all of the help and suggestions. Have a great Thanksgiving.

 

[DisneyPhD]

My DH has been helping out lately. Do you think that it is because
of this thread? I did tell him a little bit of it. I have been
just asking him to help instead of thinking that he should.

Thank for all of the help and suggestions. Have a great Thanksgiving.

Great MinnyGranny62, change doesn't happen overnight! That is really good that he and you are putting the effort into it!

Have a great thanksgiving too! (and I hope he helps out some!)