Does anyone else stay in an unhappy marriage?

[Jenn Lynn]

Do you guys really think that he is BSing me? He's calling me tonight. I need strength. Something about him has really got me going.

Not to sound harsh, but have you read the affair thread?

Even if there is no physical relationship yet, it sounds like there is or soon will be an emotional one. I would suggest reading it if you haven't.

 

[chobie]

Do you guys really think that he is BSing me? He's calling me tonight. I need strength. Something about him has really got me going.

He may very well believe everything he is saying. Statistically speaking, married men who get something going on the side, never leave their wives.

An emotional affair can be as painful as a sexual one, especially for the "other" woman.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

Not to sound harsh, but have you read the affair thread?

Even if there is no physical relationship yet, it sounds like there is or soon will be an emotional one. I would suggest reading it if you haven't.

You mean that thread that has like 700 posts? I may go read that, lol!

Chobie- Thats a good point.

 

[poohandwendy]

Do you guys really think that he is BSing me? He's calling me tonight. I need strength. Something about him has really got me going.

!!!Yes!!!



Let me ask you a simple question...does he want his wife to know about your 'friendship' and his feelings towards you? If not, he is full of BS and is feeding his wife a whole nuther line too...

 

[blue oyster]

Not to sound harsh, but have you read the affair thread?

OOH, that sounds good. Do you have a link?

 

[Planogirl]

Do you guys really think that he is BSing me? He's calling me tonight. I need strength. Something about him has really got me going.

Chances are that he is but he could just be lonely too. Men rarely seem to want to discuss emotional things with their male friends. Men usually keep everything inside. Note how many men have posted on this thread.

Either way, an emotional attachment can be devastating too so protect yourself and you may even do him a favor.

 

[simpilotswife]

Minnie the man you are talking to is looking for a sexual relationship. You probably make him feel attractive and he is probably not getting much sex at home. Most men are not looking to leave their wives. Most divorces happen because the wife is unhappy not the husband.

 

[MELSMICE]

LOL! DH and I had a discussion about sex expectations a year or so ago. He thought everyone except him was having sex 5 times a week because "that's what the Men's magazines said." So I had to burst his bubble and tell him what the average for married couples was. He didn't think he had it so bad after that.

In answer to "does a 52 year old man really want sex" - you're kidding right!!! They all want SEX, SEX, SEX & the more the better.

One night when our kids were all out of the house DS thought we could have a "marathon". I finally told him that I couldn't wait until "that thing" stopped working for good!!!

Of course, his response - VIAGARA!!! UGH!

 

[caitycaity]

52 isn't really even that old! of course 52 year olds want sex.

mp - i seriously think you should run now. get yourself out of it and stop thinking about him. it's only going to lead to hurt.

 

[clutter]

MPN, not only have I been there once, I've been there TWICE. And the second one happened while I was in the middle of the first.

The main one was NOT married, but girlfriended. The second one lived out of town, and told me that his wife didn't like sex, and that she was ok with him fooling around. Yeah, right. That one was definately more fun because he was upfront, as was I (he wasn't getting any).

When it was all over, I looked back and realized what was going on. When you're afraid of true intimacy (something that has never occured in my family, so I'm not used to it at all), the unatainable man is the best. Because you can get the feeling of intimacy (called false intimacy according to a psychologist) without really crossing the line. I also realized that I had gone through my rock-bottom point, which I needed to do to learn some of this stuff.

Next time you talk to him, just tell him that you're not comfortable being so close to someone who is married. It's the truth, plain and simple. Run into him socially, be sad when you think 'what if"?, and get away. It's not pretty to look at after the fact.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

Honestly, I really appreciate the help you guys are giving me.

I just thought that of he was just looking for sex, he wouldn't have picked me. I am kind of the feminist, opinionated type. I have told him a lot of my views. I'm sure you guys are familiar with them from on here. So, I'm not exactly making it easy for him to get sex.


I was also kind of wondering if his wife would really care, if they really haven't had sex in over five years? If it's true, I wonder if some couples can stay togethor like that forever?

He says things like , he thinks about me all of the time....etc. Why can't we just make each other happy....etc. (ugh)

 

[poohandwendy]

I was also kind of wondering if his wife would really care, if they really haven't had sex in over five years? If it's true, I wonder if some couples can stay togethor like that forever?

Why don't you ask his wife if they haven't had sex in over 5 years? And why.

Honestly, there is nothing but grief to be found in someone who does not have it in them to completely end their current situation before starting anything with you. That is just the bottom line truth. Don't buy into any garbage about 'how complicated his sad story is'...that is nothing but an excuse for his doing the WRONG thing.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

Why don't you ask his wife if they haven't had sex in over 5 years? And why.

Honestly, there is nothing but grief to be found in someone who does not have it in them to completely end their current situation before starting anything with you. That is just the bottom line truth. Don't buy into any garbage about 'how complicated his sad story is'...that is nothing but an excuse for his doing the WRONG thing.

LOL, I actually thought about that.

So are we really saying that the majority of men are dirt bags? Even the single ones can end up dissappointing, and all of that stuff.

I don't want to get so jaded, that I don't trust what anyone says.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Honestly, I really appreciate the help you guys are giving me.

I just thought that of he was just looking for sex, he wouldn't have picked me. I am kind of the feminist, opinionated type. I have told him a lot of my views. I'm sure you guys are familiar with them from on here. So, I'm not exactly making it easy for him to get sex.


I was also kind of wondering if his wife would really care, if they really haven't had sex in over five years? If it's true, I wonder if some couples can stay togethor like that forever?

He says things like , he thinks about me all of the time....etc. Why can't we just make each other happy....etc. (ugh)

Ewww. The, "Why can't we just make each other happy...". Is creepy. Yuck.
What a turn off.

I agree with PoohandWendy. He is trouble with a capitol "T". I'd bet his wife would be surprised to hear the stuff he's saying. If it's so bad what's he getting out of staying??

Tell him you'd love to have sex with him and get pregnant right away. Oh the fun you could have with that one. Wicked.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

Ewww. The, "Why can't we just make each other happy...". Is creepy. Yuck.
What a turn off.

I agree with PoohandWendy. He is trouble with a capitol "T". I'd bet his wife would be surprised to hear the stuff he's saying. If it's so bad what's he getting out of staying??

Tell him you'd love to have sex with him and get pregnant right away. Oh the fun you could have with that one. Wicked.

LOL, you made me laugh! I'd better stop now. I do kind of have a mean streak, so I can appreciate what you are saying.

I'll try to update this, if the OP doesn't mind.

Now I guess we had better pay attention to her too. Until tomorrow...

 

[dturner]

In my situation, it's SEX! He wants it all the time, I could really care a less.

What is it with men and sex??? Do all men think if they don't get some every day, every hour they will die???

 

[dturner]

In answer to "does a 52 year old man really want sex" - you're kidding right!!! They all want SEX, SEX, SEX & the more the better.

One night when our kids were all out of the house DS thought we could have a "marathon". I finally told him that I couldn't wait until "that thing" stopped working for good!!!

Of course, his response - VIAGARA!!! UGH!

You people are making me laugh today!!!

 

[snoopy]

LOL, I actually thought about that.

So are we really saying that the majority of men are dirt bags? Even the single ones can end up dissappointing, and all of that stuff.

I don't want to get so jaded, that I don't trust what anyone says.

I actually think very few men are dirtbags. At least the ones I know. Of course, I have very little patience for people - men or women - who are dreks of society.

I also agree with Ocean Annie, that whole "poor me, my wife isn't giving me any, but can you?" routine is giving me the heebie jeebies just reading about it. Shame on him. Get your jogging shoes on girl, and get the hell away from that situation asap.

 

[DWhittles]

This is probably a really dumb question, but would a 52 yr. old man want sex all of the time?

LOL,
I can tell you from some of the candid comments I've heard from my tom catting father who will be 70 in July that YES. Some men want sex all the time...

 

[DWhittles]

I'm still with the young, single Dr. but I'm worried that we may not make it! I think that I am a little bit dysfunctional when it comes to relationships.

I really, really appreciate your honesty! I've talked to some of my friends and they told me to stay away too. I need a shrink, LOL!

I think you are stepping into a hornets nest. Been there done that. NOT WORTH IT.