Does anybody else have family that doesn't...

[Tazicket]

let you know about birthday parties and such until the day of?

DH and I have been married and on our own for over 3 years now, and my family still doesn't tell us about stuff like this until either the day of or the day before. I've tried to get with my Mom to write down everybody's birthdays, so I at least will have some warning, but it keeps getting put off. It's very frustrating b/c we usually have plans that we've made and then feel guilty for having to choose btwn those plans and going to a cousin's birthday party (my cousins are all younger and in their teens, so it's a slightly bigger deal than it otherwise would be to go to their birthdays).

DH called me a few minutes ago to let me know that he just found out my cousin's birthday party is tonight (DH and my Mom work together- my Mom thought my Aunt would call us and let us know...she didn't). So, we'll be missing yet another birthday. We decided we'll get him a card and some cash, but due to other circumstances, we will not be going tonight.

Does anybody else have family like this? What do you do?

 

[GeorgeG]

I have a few in-laws that wait until the last minute and then get upset if you have something else already planned. I don't let it bother me, but my wife is usually made to feel guilty.

 

[disneysnowflake]

Yes.
My nephew has step-children. I got a call last night asking me to attend a birthday party at a roller skating rink and what the little girl would like to have as a gift.
We aren't going. We already have plans.
If you only give me 24 hours notice don't expect me to be there and don't be mad when I don't show up.
Besides, they certainly couldn't have booked a roller skating party on a Friday night 24 hours in advance, so they should have given an invitation way before yesterday.

 

[Amlee]

I have not lived at home since 1995. That's right 11 years and people still send invitations addressed to my mother, to her home and as a side note my name is attached. I've got where I don't show up to those events. When asked why. I simply explain that I never received an invitation. When I get, well I mailed it to your mothers house. I simply say I don't live there. People are learning, but you would think after so many years they would have caught on by now.

 

[wendy46001]

YES....ugh....my SIL...has two kids...and while we know when their birthdays are we never know when she will throw the party at us....(I buy gifts at the beginning of there months so i'm ready)....I even try calling to see when she is thinking of having it...she is always so unclear/undecided....then the day before or even day of (this year)..She calls and gives us a time....I seriously doubts she does this to everyone they normally have 15 to 20 people at these parties….drives me crazy….and I’d hate to not show up because I don’t want to blame the kids for their inconsiderate mother…..

 

[Tazicket]

YES....ugh....my SIL...has two kids...and while we know when their birthdays are we never know when she will throw the party at us....(I buy gifts at the beginning of there months so i'm ready)....I even try calling to see when she is thinking of having it...she is always so unclear/undecided....then the day before or even day of (this year)..She calls and gives us a time....I seriously doubts she does this to everyone they normally have 15 to 20 people at these parties….drives me crazy….and I’d hate to not show up because I don’t want to blame the kids for their inconsiderate mother…..

That's what drives me so nuts. If it was all about making a point, I would just not come when they didn't tell us about stuff until the last minute- I might still feel bad, b/c I know they aren't setting out to exclude us. But with the kids involved, it makes me feel awful. That's why we're giving him a card with some cash when we see him this weekend, but I still feel bad.