Do your kids have everything?

[skiwee1]

Originally posted by Christine
My DD 13 does not have any of this stuff and she will not. I don't believe in having any of that stuff in the bedroom. Period. They will come down and interact with the family. We have a TV in the family room and a TV in the basement (rec room) if anyone needs it. DH has an X-box that the kids are allowed to play if he's in a generous mood!!

I don't know what I'm going to do about the cell phone. I probably won't let DD have one until she is driving. I have spoken with two mothers who have 17 year old children. One that has gotten into a LOT of trouble and one that is not. They both said that there biggest regret has been the cell phone. It has allowed for a whole "underground network" of communication that they feel in undesireable (but that is for the older teens).

OP--I say stick with you guns and don't cave to what the other parents are doing.

My 15 y/o has had a cell phone for a few years now and we have had no problems with it. My 21 y/o DD had one at that age and also had no problems. Giving a kid a cell phone doesn't create the problems. It is the KID that creates the problems. Parents that blame any of the childrens problems of phones, tvs in their rooms, internet access, or anything are just coming up with excuses. I love having a way of getting ahold of DS if needed.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

DD is only 3 so we have not had to deal with any of this yet. Right now I see no problem with her having a stereo or phone in her room. Most likely we will get her a cell phone when she is older.

Right now I would not put a computer with internet access in her room when she is older since I cannot monitor her there easily.

The tv/DVD/cable I don't really have an opinion on yet. If she gets one in the future I don't think it will be until she is older. And then that depends on her behavior (like Feralpeg's DD.)

 

[zagafi]

Let's see--my kids have a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, books to read, toys to play with, travel to Disney annually, a furry friend and two parents who absolutely adore them and would die for them. Yep, they've got everything.

 

[Lewski709]

Uh no, not all kids have those things. I think you need to explain all the circumstances to your DD. Types of jobs the other girls parents have maybe a factor, only child factor, baby of the family factor, etc.

My kids won't be having these types of things (5 and 18mo's now).

I had a TV in my room when I was in HS, but it wasn't better or bigger than what my folks had. It was smaller and a Christmas present. There were things I wanted to watch and my parents didn't. We also did not have cable. I was a good student and athlete. I think all of these things play into considering whether a child should or shouldn't have them.

As for cell phones, I doubt they will have them. But that is 10yrs away minimally.

I don't even have a cell now.

 

[Lynn CC]

Without getting into details, DH and I only have DS(17). We always found it fun to spoil him since he was little. He now has all the gadgets and more (that we've all enjoyed together). He plans to take them to college with him next year(his roomate will love sharing a room with him). He's such a great student, he makes life fun for all who are with him! I say "spoil em silly", they are gone before you know it. He's grown up to be a fine young man even with all our spoiling...

 

[NHAnn]

Originally posted by MagicalMom
Do all children actually have all of these things?

No defintiely NOT all. No TV's in ANY bedrooms here. We do have a 24' flat screen in the living room, and older regular screen 27" in the family room. One computer, in the family room.......oops, wait...DD now has a laptop, she's heading to college in 3 weeks.....

Her first cell phone, with $$ for six months bills, was a gift from her godmother on her 16th birthday. She has been responsible for the monthly bills since then. (I gave her her own checking account with a $100 balance for her 16th birthday....and free lessons in balancing it, managing her ATM card and paying her bill(s). ) She recently "upgraded" to a new fancier phone herself. Some of her friends "can't believe" she pays for her cell phone herself and these are 17-18 year olds

It's no wonder some kids become so bored and discontent with their lives (and underachievers) when they are handed everything on a silver platter so early in their lives and never have to earn anything or learn to have patience to save up money to buy things or are never just plain told "no".

I have to say I agree, having observed some sad outcomes in this regard, in a LOT of cases.

That being said though....there are a lot of kids who DO have a lot "materially" that are unspoiled fine young people!! I do think that's it's a balancing act between what you can afford to provide, the convenience, safety and entertainment benefits of some of these "technologies" and gadgets , and what you instill as values and as a lifestyle.
DIfferent strokes for different folks !

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by skiwee1
My 15 y/o has had a cell phone for a few years now and we have had no problems with it.

I have to agree with this. DD knows the rules as well. All I can say it has been the best thing we EVER bought for her. It has made things so much, much easier.

 

[LisaSt]

Our 6 year old and 3 year old have a TV and VCR and DVD player but no space for a computer but with the new Disney PC that may change.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

Mine have to much ! One is a Freshman in College and the other is a Junior in HS . They both have cell phones and have had them for years ( that was more for me I feel better about them being out ) They have big tv and all the little things to go with DVD, Sat, Tivo , blah blah blah ... Do they use it all ????? I hope so .

All they need is a lotta love all the other stuff is just the blah blah stuff !

I have spoiled them and it has come back to haunt me DS just got a sports car for his first car now he is asking for a 2K stereo for it . NOT going to happen but thatnks for playing

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

My kids are young yet, but I don't believe in getting them all that stuff. We try to be selective--a boom box yes, because they love music, but no X-Box or TV in their room. Probably their own PC and cell phones down the line. Anything else, they get for gifts and/or pay for. But my main thing is, it's up to the parents and what they're willing to shell out for. I think it's wrong for kids ot get tons of stuff at the expense of their parents retirement account, but that's a parental decision. If you have the money and want to reward good kids (or even keep up with the neighbors), go for it. But I personally won't.

 

[meandtheguys2]

No. I don't see any reason for themto have all that stuff. Especially in their bedrooms!

 

[Rock'n Robin]

This is my third try replying....
Kids are 6,9,12.
No TVs in their rooms. I don't want them having to watch TV to sleep like DH. The older two (9 and 12) have old laptops with word processing and a few old games. The only internet computer is in the living room where all downstairs can see it. I believe in internet supervision.
We all like music and each child has a CD/radio in their rooms. The older two have walkmans.
All 3 have gameboys, but no playstation, XBox etc.
We have a TV with cable, DVD and VHS in the family room and the basement. I have a TV with cable and VHS in my room (have to watch for school delays, LOL).
Robin M.

 

[skiwee1]

Originally posted by LisaSt
Our 6 year old and 3 year old have a TV and VCR and DVD player but no space for a computer but with the new Disney PC that may change.

My DH saw that new computer and said it was a waste. He couldn't believe how small the processor is that comes with it. He said that it will not be able to handle a lot of software out there because of those limits. Save your money and get something better.

 

[LisaSt]

I want it more for the looks if they want a good PC to use they will use the one I built it is a P4 3.2 with 2 gig of ram and 2 120 gig drives and an ATI X800 pro video card to name a few things. It is for them to play their Disney games on so for a 6 year old and a 3 year old that PC should be just fine I realize it is only a CEL 2.66 gig processor but for them it will suffice. Thanks for the advice though
Darren

 

[Michelemouse]

My DD12 has been asking for a TV in her room for about 2 years. We have refused her. Do I feel guilty about it? Heck no! There is no reason she needs a TV in her room. When she brings up the fact that one of her friends has a TV in *her* room I ask her if I should call them to see if she can move in with them since it's so much better over there.

Ditto for the phone. She will not get a cell phone until she is able to drive and going out on her own. While she still needs me or DH to get her around I see no reason for her to have her own cell phone. She does have a stereo/CD player in her room.

DS9 has our VERY old computer in his room. It doesn't play many games but he likes having it. He uses it very rarely and I've been trying to convince him to get rid of it but he's still hanging on to it. Pretty soon it will be useless anyway.

There is *no* way I would allow either of my children to have interenet access in their bedrooms...period. Don't get me wrong, I trust them completely. It is the people that they may come in contact with that I worry about.

We homeschool both kids and DD does much of her classwork on the computer. Sometimes I have to give up some of my computer time so she can use it. That doesn't mean I"m going to go out and get her her own machine. It just means that I"m going to have to compromise...something people seem more reluctant to do each day. We live in a society of "right now" and "I/They deserve it". I think that those who learn the difference between wants and needs and work for what they have, even kids, are the ones to emulate...not the ones who have everything.

Just my opinion.

Michele

 

[BrerMom]

We have one family TV, VCR, and DVD. DD13 and DS10 both have their own CD boomboxes and DS got a radio for Christmas. DD has a gameboy and DS has a gameboy advance. We have the TV that fits in the van hooked up to the playstation.

DS5 has a "His Kids" radio. It's really great for him. It gets two stations, the local Christian radio station and a station that has children's radio programs. He also has his brother's old gameboy.

DD asked for and received her own sewing machine. We've considered getting her a cell phone. The jury's still out on that one, but it would be nice for her to be able to call us when she's done with practice or needs to stay after school.

Do they have everything? Yup, everything they need!

Originally posted by zagafi
Let's see--my kids have a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, books to read, toys to play with, travel to Disney annually, a furry friend and two parents who absolutely adore them and would die for them. Yep, they've got everything.

 

[skiwee1]

Originally posted by LisaSt
I want it more for the looks if they want a good PC to use they will use the one I built it is a P4 3.2 with 2 gig of ram and 2 120 gig drives and an ATI X800 pro video card to name a few things. It is for them to play their Disney games on so for a 6 year old and a 3 year old that PC should be just fine I realize it is only a CEL 2.66 gig processor but for them it will suffice. Thanks for the advice though
Darren

Wasn't trying to solicite you or anything! LOL! Most of DD's games would not run on the Disney PC so I thought I'd let you know. DD's computer is almost identical to the one you have now! LOL! She is 5 y/o and it works out well for her too.

 

[Feralpeg]

Not to mention spoiling the kid. It's no wonder some kids become so bored and discontent with their lives (and underachievers) when they are handed everything on a silver platter so early in their lives and never have to earn anything or learn to have patience to save up money to buy things or are never just plain told "no".

I think you may be jumping to a conclusion that isn't necessarily correct. Even though DD has a lot of things, she works very hard. She has a 4.0 grade point average. She participates in many activities (choir, theatre, community service) that I feel will make her a better person and will help her get into a good college. On top of that, she is persuing an acting career. I'd say that is working pretty hard for a 16 year old. She also helps me around the house. She never gets into any trouble and is very well adjusted. Not wishing to start a debate here, but I've seen kids whose parents are very conservative and attentive get into trouble. We should be carefull making generalizations about how others raise their children.

 

[LisaSt]

Being in the world of IT and so on spoils me to no end with pc's. Mind you I hate the IBM's we use at work way to slow and not reliable enough IMHO.

 

[Amberle3]

I'm 34 and I still don't have a TV in my bedroom!

I don't have kids myself, but I have 3 cousins I'm close to that have kids.
Cousin #1 (oldest) doesn't have even a TV in the kids room.
Cousin #2 (middle child) has TVs & VCRs in both her kids rooms, I think the oldest might have a CD player. Aside from the TV/VCRs any luxuries the kids have they have to buy themselves from allowance, money gifts etc. Older child is very good at saving up his money for what he wants, younger child usually spends it right away. These kids spend a fair amount of time at #1 cousin's house though.
Cousin #3 (youngest) gives his kids whatever they want. TVs, VCRs, computers, you name it. They are spoiled rotten, and I mean ROTTEN. The younger one isn't as bad, but the older one thinks he's the centre of the universe and truly believes no one else matters. He has no regard for anyone but himself.

It's a way off yet, but when I have kids my plan is not to have TVs or computers in their bedrooms. First of all I'm a control freak, and I'd rather set up a network room in the basement with the computers than have the kids squirreled away on them with no supervision. I just don't think that a kid needs absolute privacy on a computer, there's far too many dangerous people out there. As for TVs, I'd rather promote sharing and cooperation by making them watch the TV in the family room than hiding in their own rooms. Maybe I'm just jaded by Cousin #3's kids, but the other ones are a lot more social and work better with other than #3's kids.