sbsteel
No flash photograph on the dark rides, people!
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2006
- Messages
- 475
I totally agree with Frantasmic, except I don't think it's limited to just teens - more from people of any age that have a hard time thinking outside their likes/dislikes.
To me, phrasing a question of "How can you..." just smacks of judgement because most of the time the follow-up by the person asking the question is, "Oh, because I..." - meaning no matter what you respond, they already find it to be wrong, gross, etc.
"How can you not like Italian food?" vs. "Why don't you like Italian food?" are two different questions. The former question has a very judgemental connotation to it and puts the person responding on the defensive while the latter question is much more objective and actually gives the person a chance to respond with a reason.
(My mom is a retired English teacher, so I was often corrected on this...even though I thought she was looking for things to pick on. Little did I know that years later I would want to strangle a co-worker for the exact same reason. "How can you drink your coffee black? How can you eat sushi?"
)
To me, phrasing a question of "How can you..." just smacks of judgement because most of the time the follow-up by the person asking the question is, "Oh, because I..." - meaning no matter what you respond, they already find it to be wrong, gross, etc.
"How can you not like Italian food?" vs. "Why don't you like Italian food?" are two different questions. The former question has a very judgemental connotation to it and puts the person responding on the defensive while the latter question is much more objective and actually gives the person a chance to respond with a reason.
(My mom is a retired English teacher, so I was often corrected on this...even though I thought she was looking for things to pick on. Little did I know that years later I would want to strangle a co-worker for the exact same reason. "How can you drink your coffee black? How can you eat sushi?"
)
