Do you think you would say "some thing" if faced with warning signs?

[The Mystery Machine]

No, I am not but I do not fear for my safety on a daily basis. However, I think we are fooling ourselves if we believe that certain behaviors exhibited by some people are not warning signs. Could the neighbor that is stealing rocks from his other neighbors be a danger to society? Sure but it is likely that he is just an odd individual and does not pose any greater threat than the neighbor that isn't stealing rocks. Both could go postal but the likelihood is rather small for both. But the child that starts exhibiting violent behavior in kindergarten and continues to become more and more extreme as s/he gets older does need to send up some warning signs and warrants some type of evaluation in my book.

I think we are too PC in this country. We don't want to infringe on anyone's rights and I get that; I certainly don't want my rights infringed upon. But if I suddenly start talking about killing my boss, become extremely agitated, start self medicating and begin showing signs of extreme aggression, I hope my family and friends decide to infringe upon my rights and have me checked out by a professional.

OK, so they get you checked out. Then what?

My MIL who is schizophrenic was only helped when the police came to arrest her. She was sending threatening letters to former coworkers.

Then they could keep her in for awhile to get her on the meds, otherwise she knew how to work the system and was out in 3 days or less.

With regards to my sister's SIL, the police know she is nuts and all they keep saying is document and start a paper trail.

It is not so easy to get help even when it is needed.

 

[LisaR]

OK, so they get you checked out. Then what?

My MIL who is schizophrenic was only helped when the police came to arrest her. She was sending threatening letters to former coworkers.

Then they could keep her in for awhile to get her on the meds, otherwise she knew how to work the system and was out in 3 days or less.

With regards to my sister's SIL, the police know she is nuts and all they keep saying is document and start a paper trail.

It is not so easy to get help even when it is needed.

There are two different situations at play here. I was responding to the idea that either we need to screen everybody or nobody. I don't believe it needs to be all or nothing.

In the situations you mentioned above, now we talking about problems with the system. I don't deny that the entire system needs revamped but I don't think we say the system sucks so lets not bother attempting to help anyone at all.

My DD is in her second semester of psychology at our local community college. The professor is somewhat of a renowned psychologist and has worked on some pretty high profile cases. While he has certainly told stories of the ones that couldn't be helped, he has many stories of those who have been saved. Incidentally, he mainly treats those who are court ordered into therapy.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

I'm curious as to what you think constitutes off behavior?

 

[PrincessKsMom]

OK, so they get you checked out. Then what?

My MIL who is schizophrenic was only helped when the police came to arrest her. She was sending threatening letters to former coworkers.

Then they could keep her in for awhile to get her on the meds, otherwise she knew how to work the system and was out in 3 days or less.

With regards to my sister's SIL, the police know she is nuts and all they keep saying is document and start a paper trail.

It is not so easy to get help even when it is needed.

I'm sure it's not. So what's the answer -- don't bother doing anything? Stop trying? Ignore it? There's a thread going now about someone who is having an issue with just this type of situation with her granddaughter who is in kindergarten. Most are advocating her daughter escalate to the principal, etc. Why not just tell her to ignore it and stop trying to infringe on the rights of the child who is harming her granddaughter? Why is that situation any different? Sounds like that's what some would advocate, particularly if he were older. It's not the school's problem, it's not the doctor's problem, it's not the family's problem. Everyone's hands are tied. Please stand by and wait for him to kill your child, then we'll act.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm sure it's not. So what's the answer -- don't bother doing anything? Stop trying? Ignore it? There's a thread going now about someone who is having an issue with just this type of situation with her granddaughter who is in kindergarten. Most are advocating her daughter escalate to the principal, etc. Why not just tell her to ignore it and stop trying to infringe on the rights of the child who is harming her granddaughter? Why is that situation any different? Sounds like that's what some would advocate, particularly if he were older. It's not the school's problem, it's not the doctor's problem, it's not the family's problem. Everyone's hands are tied. Please stand by and wait for him to kill your child, then we'll act.

Really? I don't see anyone saying that. In fact, if you did a poll asking if a "strange acting" man pulled up a woman's shirt and put glue in her hair, I would suspect every single person would vote to call the police.

 

[cheshireqt]

Thanks guys, your advice is greatly appreciated. The whole situation had me agitated b/c I just found out about it. Was relieved that the parents are getting help, although they may not have had a choice once they took him to the emergency room with a self-inflicted gash in his arm plus signs of previous cutting. I hope he comes through whatever is eating at him and does find his own niche.
OP thanks for letting me post in your thread. I guess the answer to your original question is No I would not contact authorities, school etc but would want to know that someone is taking an interest in the emotional welfare of the person.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

There are two different situations at play here. I was responding to the idea that either we need to screen everybody or nobody. I don't believe it needs to be all or nothing.

In the situations you mentioned above, now we talking about problems with the system. I don't deny that the entire system needs revamped but I don't think we say the system sucks so lets not bother attempting to help anyone at all.

My DD is in her second semester of psychology at our local community college. The professor is somewhat of a renowned psychologist and has worked on some pretty high profile cases. While he has certainly told stories of the ones that couldn't be helped, he has many stories of those who have been saved. Incidentally, he mainly treats those who are court ordered into therapy.

Oh, OK, all or nothing is just stupid.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I'm sure it's not. So what's the answer -- don't bother doing anything? Stop trying? Ignore it? There's a thread going now about someone who is having an issue with just this type of situation with her granddaughter who is in kindergarten. Most are advocating her daughter escalate to the principal, etc. Why not just tell her to ignore it and stop trying to infringe on the rights of the child who is harming her granddaughter? Why is that situation any different? Sounds like that's what some would advocate, particularly if he were older. It's not the school's problem, it's not the doctor's problem, it's not the family's problem. Everyone's hands are tied. Please stand by and wait for him to kill your child, then we'll act.

In the K incident, I would esculate it.

With my sister's SIL, they are creating a paper trail.

The problem is that you have to work within the system and the red tape gets so complex sometimes that it fails the person in need.

I mean the police have been called a number of times and FINALLY they told crazy SIL one more call about a false report and her butt is going to sit in jail.

All they tell my sister is to keep up with the paper trail and until she actually does something to "harm" someone, you cannot press charges.

Now she could file a restraining order however as they told her it will more than likely just agitate the SIL. Also the MIL my sister is caring for would not want that.

I mean MIL is dying of cancer and they do not want to shut her dd out completely.

Right now they schedule time for her to come and see her mom & never leave her unsupervised. They shut MIL's ringer off at 9pm to give MIL a break from the abusive phone calls from this daughter.

Bottom line, the whole thing sucks. She has no insurance so even if she is Baker Acted she will be kicked out in a few days with no real help given to her. Getting her in there on a criminal charge will give the law enforcement the pressure to keep her in a facility longer so the chances of her getting better help increases.

 

[cheshireqt]

Really? I don't see anyone saying that. In fact, if you did a poll asking if a "strange acting" man pulled up a woman's shirt and put glue in her hair, I would suspect every single person would vote to call the police.

That is the truth!!!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

In the K incident, I would esculate it.

With my sister's SIL, they are creating a paper trail.

The problem is that you have to work within the system and the red tape gets so complex sometimes that it fails the person in need.

I mean the police have been called a number of times and FINALLY they told crazy SIL one more call about a false report and her butt is going to sit in jail.

All they tell my sister is to keep up with the paper trail and until she actually does something to "harm" someone, you cannot press charges.

Now she could file a restraining order however as they told her it will more than likely just agitate the SIL. Also the MIL my sister is caring for would not want that.

I mean MIL is dying of cancer and they do not want to shut her dd out completely.

Right now they schedule time for her to come and see her mom & never leave her unsupervised. They shut MIL's ringer off at 9pm to give MIL a break from the abusive phone calls from this daughter.

Bottom line, the whole thing sucks. She has no insurance so even if she is Baker Acted she will be kicked out in a few days with no real help given to her. Getting her in there on a criminal charge will give the law enforcement the pressure to keep her in a facility longer so the chances of her getting better help increases.

As I mentioned in another thread on a similar topic, in order to keep the ability to post on the DIS, I will be refraining from discussion on these topics. However, I just wanted to respond to your post with a for your SIL's family. It's never an easy thing to deal with mental health issues and family. Again, I wish everyone a healthy and happy new year!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

As I mentioned in another thread on a similar topic, in order to keep the ability to post on the DIS, I will be refraining from discussion on these topics. However, I just wanted to respond to your post with a for your SIL's family. It's never an easy thing to deal with mental health issues and family. Again, I wish everyone a healthy and happy new year!

I am my sister's sounding board and honestly afraid for her safety. Now they are taking all the precautions they can, but you cannot be 100% safe, you know?

Thanks for the hugs, it is just really a horrible and sad situation.