Do you think that not taking a vacation is cheating your kids???

[RooRach0906]

Im not sure how far you live from these but maybe you could take them to on a mini vacay or just a day trip to either Camden Park (near Charleston, WV), Kings Island (Ohio), or Kings Dominion (Richmond, VA). I also know about 2 different water parks in West Va that are pretty nice maybe even a day at one of those.... just if you feel like your kids are missing out... that way you could work on your debt and feel like they went somewhere... I know that Kings Island and Kings Dominion have places in the parking lot where you could bring a packed cooler with lunch in it... we do this a lot when we go there... we have even taken lunchables in no problem.

 

[semo233]

Here's an easy way to fulfill ALL your needs: Write down what you want out of a vacation and find another way to meet those needs without spending a lot.
We once camped 20 minutes from our house at a state park. We were away from the housework, TV, phone, computers and spending time with each other (what I want from a vacation). We even invited a few family friends to join us around the campfire for hot dogs and S'mores as a suprise for our daughter (because we were so close, they could drop by for the evening!)
Cost: $24 for the campsite. Everything else, we already had and brought and would have needed to eat dinner anyway!
You could even just set an entire week aside and create a surprise for each day (ask your kids what they want to do!) Borrow equipment that you don't have.

Pajama day with breakfast for dinner
Slumber party for the whole family
Dessert first night
picnics
playground
tea party
rental movie and popcorn night (appetizers for dinner)
backwards day (wear clothes backwards, dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner, parents to bed first, etc.
Sports day - each kid picks a favorite sport and everyone plays
bake cookies/pies/cake and decorate
letterboxing
hiking
bike trails

Check out your state's website with activities and sites to see, many are free.

 

[ipodluvr287]

You don't have to go on vacation every year. We certainly don't. It will help you in the long run by paying the debt off, so that you can afford to go on a better vacation later. If you really want to do something with them instead of a vacation, take them to the movies every once in awhile, go bowling, etc. Those things aren't nearly as expensive as a vacation, but still fun.

 

[gracielou]

I don't think you should feel guilty at all for skipping a year (or 5) of vacation! I was a junior in high school before I had my first "real" vacation. We were in the military and far from my parents' families so we drove the 12-16 hour trip to see them every Christmas and summer.

My parents took advantage of whatever local resources we had--the beach, museums, or even just a forest to hike and picnic--and made the best of it. With you being so far from everything, that may be a little harder. But chances are your kids will appreciate the sacrifice you make now once they are a little older. For me it was graduating college without a mountain of debt that made me see the genius in my parents' plan. Their sacrifice of vacations--and teaching us about "needs" versus "wants"--allowed them to save enough to pay for my brother's and my educations so we could start our adult lives a lot easier. Not only will we both always be grateful to our parents for that, but it also taught us the value of not relying on credit/debt and spending only what you have.

 

[Ka' eo]

Paying off your debt is a lot more important than taking a vacation. Why would you even think it's "unfair" that they don't get to go on vacation???? How many ways can you spell RIDICULOUS?!?!?!?

Your kids only go to school 180 days -- in between, they have 2 1/2 to 3 months off in summer (depending where you are), a 1 to 1 1/2 weeks off at Christmas, a week off in February, a week off at Easter, 4 day weekend at Memorial Day, and let's not forget about the 1/2 days and "teacher conference" days.......

A "vacation".... they're on "vacation" until they graduate college and have to enter the real world.

ITA with this completely.

PAY OFF YOUR DEBT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And don't vacation until it is gone. Your children will not be on the couch of a psychoanalyst for not going on vacation for a few years.

You have an awesome state fair, Pipestem State Park, I could go on and on. Pipestem is an amazing day trip or go rent a room there for the 30 bucks a night. W. Virginia is a vacation paradise. Look out your backdoor!

 

[apnep]

Just remember back when you were a kid...did you get to go to Disney every year? Did your folks take you somewhere every summer? When we were little my parents took us camping for a week up in the mountains. That was our vacation. We didn't do much traveling at all. Mostly we stayed home during our time off from school and played around the neighborhood. If you don't take them, I don't think they'll miss it. They just want to spend time with you!

I agree with an PP,that kids aren't entitled to a vacation. They are entitled to a roof over their head, some good eats at home, and lots of love. I know you want to take them, but they also need to learn the value of a dollar and that sometimes we need to buckle down and take care of business. Get your debt paid off, then plan your trip.

Good luck!

 

[jodifla]

My DH and I just returned from a mini adults only vacation to Pigeon Forge. We had a great time and our cabin was only $176 for 3 nights. Thats really cheap. Anyhoo, I have been thinking about this trip and how if we dont take any other vacations for about 2 years we could possibly get our truck paid off in 18 months. That would leave us owing on our house, a personal loan, and a student loan. plus an extra $500 a month to put toward the next lowest loan we owe on.

Now back to the question, would it be cheating our kids if we didnt take a vacation for a few years? I feel like we owe it to them to take them somewhere because we went on our mini vaca without them.

What would you do???

I'd go on vacation. Not a popular proclamation for this budget boards, but I say life is short, and kids are young only once.

I don't think they are "entitled" to it, but my priorities are to create fun memories for my family. We don't stop living when we have long-term debt that we've budgeted for (now, we haven't had a car payment in several years as our cars our 15 and 13 years old.)

That may not be a trip to WDW every year, but it sure is a trip to someplace.

 

[jodifla]

Just remember back when you were a kid...did you get to go to Disney every year? Did your folks take you somewhere every summer? When we were little my parents took us camping for a week up in the mountains. That was our vacation. We didn't do much traveling at all. Mostly we stayed home during our time off from school and played around the neighborhood. If you don't take them, I don't think they'll miss it. They just want to spend time with you!

I agree with an PP,that kids aren't entitled to a vacation. They are entitled to a roof over their head, some good eats at home, and lots of love. I know you want to take them, but they also need to learn the value of a dollar and that sometimes we need to buckle down and take care of business. Get your debt paid off, then plan your trip.

Good luck!

Actually, I DID go to WDW every year...as did almost everyone I knew.

 

[quentina]

I am not sure cheating is the word I would use.....I grew up poor. My mom worked many hours per day to take care of me. We never had "family time".....never....no money and too be honest, she was working (single mom).

As I grew up and had my own kids, it is very important that they have "family" memories. Do they need to be vacations, no however; I do want them to look back on life and remember the times we had together. I do not have these memories.....and sometimes....it does make me sad.

In my home, we do family vacations yearly. It is a large part of my budget and very important to me.

 

[Chelley00]

We never vacationed when I was a kid. We took one 3 day trip to a local amusement park once. Most of the times we went camping at the lake in our hometown.

I was so jealous of everyone else getting to go on vacations all the time. It's humiliating when they ask you "what you did on your summer vacation" questions and you have NOTHING to answer.

Honestly, I think we were cheated somewhat. Not going on big vacations every year, but once in awhile would have been nice. We went out into adulthood never having traveled, never being exposed to culture or places and people. We have no happy childhood memories of going somewhere or doing things out of the ordinary. I don't think we needed the big trips to Disney or where ever, but something here and there would have been nice.

However, did we grow up to be horrible people because of it? No. Are we scarred for life? Maybe a little

It's just made vacationing with our kids a little more important, because I would like for our kids to have more than we had, to see different places and different things. We don't go to Disney every year. We probably won't go back for years now, but we are going to try to take a long weekend or so once a year to do something. Just to get away from the grind, get us out of the house and away from the stress and just be a family and enjoy each other.

 

[design_mom]

When I was young we went on vacation every year. Not necessarily to Disney -- sometimes to a cabin on a lake, or to see a historical monument, etc. As an adult, I once said to my mom "We took great vacations..." and she said, "No. We took *cheap* vacations..."

I honestly don't remember anything cheap about it... although I do remember her cooking in the cabin, etc. (One thing I like about vacation is not having to cook!)

My point of the story is -- if vacation is important to you, do something. Your kids will remember the fun and the memories, not how much you spent.

But, as others have said, if you feel that you can't spend *anything,* on a vacation, that's okay, too. You can have family time and make memories at home/free if you make a point to.

 

[Minniemama350]

Haven't read the whole thread...

The vacations I take with my kids are about spending the time with them while they're still young. It is quality time for us all. If I needed to use that money for something else, I would find another way to spend that quality time. I do not feel I owe my kids vacation time, it is a fringe benefit that we all enjoy when we can afford it.

 

[englishteacha]

I don't think not going on a vacation is cheating your kids. I think it's more important to spend TIME together. It doesn't matter where you go, or if you go anywhere. Plan something special-a movie, camping in the living room, an "adventure" of some sort nearby. It will be just as special to your kids as going somewhere.

My best memories of vacation time as a kid? Swimming in a lake ("Mommy, watch me!"), riding bikes with my dad (he rode my mom's lady bike...it became embarrassing when I was 12, though!), my big sister taking me to FunTown for a day (local amusement park), my big brother taking me camping on a mountain. None of these things are expensive, and many are free. Yeah, I remember the Disney vacation, too, but it's no more memorable than the gifts of time I got from my family.

 

[katie26]

Growing up, I can remember exactly one real vacation with my family - a trip to Disney when I was nine. (And honestly, I don't think I actually even remember being there.) We traveled to weddings and funerals, to see extended family in other states, and on weekend trips to semi-local amusement parks, but we never really took straight-up vacations. And I turned out okay! (Well, mostly... )

The best part? Because my parents were so diligent about paying off debt when they were younger, they're in a financial position now to take us (age 29 and 26) on a family vacation just about every year. I think we probably enjoy it more now than we would have when we were kids and my brother and I were always picking on each other and fighting with our parents and so on. Our vacations now are totally mellow, low-stress times where we all get to relax individually *and* bond as a family.

I really don't think you can go wrong here - putting off a couple of years of vacations in order to pay off debts sounds like a totally responsible and admirable decision to me. At the same time, if you decide that time away from home together is invaluable... hey, that's also a perfectly respectable decision! Only you and your partner know what's best for your family.

 

[eliza61]

My DH and I just returned from a mini adults only vacation to Pigeon Forge. We had a great time and our cabin was only $176 for 3 nights. Thats really cheap. Anyhoo, I have been thinking about this trip and how if we dont take any other vacations for about 2 years we could possibly get our truck paid off in 18 months. That would leave us owing on our house, a personal loan, and a student loan. plus an extra $500 a month to put toward the next lowest loan we owe on.

Now back to the question, would it be cheating our kids if we didnt take a vacation for a few years? I feel like we owe it to them to take them somewhere because we went on our mini vaca without them.

What would you do???

Uhm why? My dad would say (and often did) that every day your a kid is pretty much a vacation.

IMO kids are owed only a few things and they are biggies.
1) a loving, stable house hold surrounded by people that love, nurture and respect them. People who spend time with them.
2) quality education
3) the ability to get to a doctor.

vacations are entirely optional. I hope we are not coming to the point where we consider kids deprived because they never get to go to disney.

 

[gracielou]

The vacations I take with my kids are about spending the time with them while they're still young. It is quality time for us all. If I needed to use that money for something else, I would find another way to spend that quality time. I do not feel I owe my kids vacation time, it is a fringe benefit that we all enjoy when we can afford it.

I don't think not going on a vacation is cheating your kids. I think it's more important to spend TIME together. It doesn't matter where you go, or if you go anywhere. Plan something special-a movie, camping in the living room, an "adventure" of some sort nearby. It will be just as special to your kids as going somewhere.

My best memories of vacation time as a kid? Swimming in a lake ("Mommy, watch me!"), riding bikes with my dad (he rode my mom's lady bike...it became embarrassing when I was 12, though!), my big sister taking me to FunTown for a day (local amusement park), my big brother taking me camping on a mountain. None of these things are expensive, and many are free. Yeah, I remember the Disney vacation, too, but it's no more memorable than the gifts of time I got from my family.

I couldn't agree more. We may not have gone to Disney or anywhere else that required a plane trip or a hotel stay, but the memories we made making day trips that cost barely more than a tank of gas are still priceless to me. Did my brother and I sometimes wish we were headed somewhere exotic? Of course. But to tell the truth, we never felt like we were missing out on anything. When my brother was in college and I was a junior in high school, we started taking more traditional family vacations, including a two-week Mediterranean cruise. You know what we all still talk about when we get together? The time the bird pooped in my mom's hair while we were eating a picnic lunch at the nearest state park or the time my dad fell in a creek when my brother made him laugh too hard.

 

[DebMcDonald]

No I do not feel that you are cheating your kids by not taking a vacation. I think just spending "quality" family time is enough, I sometimes don't think that people take advantage of the time they have together. Last year my husband was laid off for 8.5 months so our lives drastically changed and there was no vacation, but my kids NEVER complained and we just made the best of the time we had together whether it even just was a trip to the beach. In our early marriage, we had one child, we didn't vacation for several years because financially it wasn't the best decision for us, but then years later after the house was bought and everything was paid off we've had some GREAT vacations.

And sometimes I think Mom and Dad need time away to just revitalize the marriage and appreciate what you have together.

 

[daleswife]

Im not thinking disney only, Im thinking anything. I know there are cheap ways to take them somewhere and I know that I do live in one of the most beautiful states in the USA. And we do utilize all the wonderful things that WV has to offer...but thats just it. We LIVE here. Its the same ol' same ol' to us. You can only Hike the mountains and camp so much before you just wanna go do something else. I live on the side of a Mountain. its beautiful. And quality time with my family is another thing I was talking about. Yes, I get plenty of time with my kids, but my DH works a whole lot and to acutally get some quality time with him I have to practically MAKE him take a vacation....and get out of this house. I get that its not a need nor a necessity to take a vacation, and we can afford it, but if we take that money and pay off bills, maybe we can do a really good vacation in a few years. We have already taken our tax return and paid off ALL of our credit cards. So we are in the right direction.

Thanks for all your comments. They have been great...

 

[avahoneybee]

Uhm why? My dad would say (and often did) that every day your a kid is pretty much a vacation.

IMO kids are owed only a few things and they are biggies.
1) a loving, stable house hold surrounded by people that love, nurture and respect them. People who spend time with them.
2) quality education
3) the ability to get to a doctor.

vacations are entirely optional. I hope we are not coming to the point where we consider kids deprived because they never get to go to disney.

I so agree with everything you said.

I think most kids will remember the quality time they spent with their parents and not how much money their parents spent on vacations.

 

[Colleen27]

I know I'm going to be in a minority on this board, but I wouldn't stop vacationing entirely to pay off managable debt. Life is about balance, and to me vacations with the kids while they are still small is a priority. Not a necessity, but also not among the first things I'd axe if I didn't have to. I know that's not likely to be popular on this board, where the general tone seems to be that no one should vacation at all unless they're 100% debt free, have fully funded college accounts for their kids, and are putting the maximum into their retirement accounts, but I'm not one who is willing to live every day for tomorrow with no extras to enjoy today.

What I would do (and did do, when we were paying my student loan and saving for a home) is take a relatively inexpensive trip. We're from the Detroit area; for several years our vacations were to "up north" Michigan or Toronto/Niagara, but we still made it a point to travel with our kids.