Do you think that not taking a vacation is cheating your kids???

[auralia]

it would be difficult for ME to give up the family memories of a vacation if i could do it reasonably and without any fear of losing my house/cars/credit etc. The memories with my children that i can't get back. IF I could afford it i wouldn't give it up (but it doesn't have to be crazy expensive it could be a 4 day vacation to someplace close even just something to remember). my family didn't go anywhere but to visit family when i was young and i definately feel like i missed out on some experiences of course your not talking about never but i do wish we had done at least one real trip as a family.

 

[indimom]

Here's an easy way to fulfill ALL your needs: Write down what you want out of a vacation and find another way to meet those needs without spending a lot.
We once camped 20 minutes from our house at a state park. We were away from the housework, TV, phone, computers and spending time with each other (what I want from a vacation). We even invited a few family friends to join us around the campfire for hot dogs and S'mores as a suprise for our daughter (because we were so close, they could drop by for the evening!)
Cost: $24 for the campsite. Everything else, we already had and brought and would have needed to eat dinner anyway!
You could even just set an entire week aside and create a surprise for each day (ask your kids what they want to do!) Borrow equipment that you don't have.

Pajama day with breakfast for dinner
Slumber party for the whole family
Dessert first night
picnics
playground
tea party
rental movie and popcorn night (appetizers for dinner)
backwards day (wear clothes backwards, dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner, parents to bed first, etc.
Sports day - each kid picks a favorite sport and everyone plays
bake cookies/pies/cake and decorate
letterboxing
hiking
bike trails

Check out your state's website with activities and sites to see, many are free.

THESE ARE ALL GREAT IDEAS!!!!

I do not think skipping a vacation would be bad for your children at all.
There was a time period in our lives (when my kids were under 5) that we were trying to pay off some medical bills, credit card debt and car loan. We had NO television, internet, cell phones, and we lived "in the country" without easy access to a pool or the library. (We did drive to the library once a week to borrow videos and get books.)

BUT, here are my fondest memories of that time. We had a family board game night where DH and I played things like Chutes and Ladders or Candyland or Charades with the kids. We even played Hide and Seek a couple times. The kids LOVED this! DS was too young to remember, but DD still remembers this very well.

We took walks. We played in the snow in the winter. We used the garden hose, a tarp and a kids plastic slide to make our own water slide in the summer. GOOD TIMES!

We camped out in Grandma and Grandpa's "Back 40" with all the cousins, had smores over the fire, played games in the dark, etc. I can promise you that these were just as good of FAMILY MEMORIES, as those we made in Disney World when the kids were 5 & 7.

I run an in-home day care. Last summer, we did a week themed around Pirates. We got a couple large boxes free from a local appliance store, built our own ship (using an old sheet and brooms for sails). Painted it with leftover paints. Had a treasure hunt, built our own pirate chest from a shoe box and felt, the list goes on and on...) The kids have been begging to do this again this summer.

There are soooo many things you can do with your kids to create memories, hop onto some websites devoted to children in your kids age brackets and you'll find tons of ideas that your family will love. Be creative and Have Fun!!!!

 

[DawnM]

Many children grow up never taking a vacation! They actually survive!

I heard a report just the other day on how Americans have been living on borrowed income for the last 10-15 years by going further and further into debt.
We just can't live that way anymore.

Your children will be far better off watching you get out of debt and living more frugally than they will by going on a nice vacation.

Are there things you can do in the summer that would be day trips? Lake, swimming pool, hike, museums,bike rides, camping in the backyard, etc....??????

We drive 45 min.-1 hour a lot for day trips and things. Today we are going to a play that cost $6 per person. Normal price is $20 per person. My kids don't care if I spend $6 or $20, they just want to go!

I am sure you can find low cost alternatives that will make them just as happy.

Dawn

 

[beansmom]

i can't add much to what has already been said other than we, too, are scaling back on our vacations this year. I wanted to go to Italy but will have to settle for 2 wks in my mil's condo in upstate NY. Our 'big' trip will be for business with a couple extra days for pleasure.

The economy is bad, doesn't look to get better any time soon and we have had extra expenses that we wouldn't normally have other years. Ya gotta do what grown ups gotta do. I agree that family time is what counts--millions and billions of people have lived perfectly productive, happy lives without vacations throughout history. In fact, for the masses, 'vacation' is a fairly new concept.

Stay home, enjoy your kids and the peace of mind that paying off the debt brings.

oh, i went to disney for the first time when i was 40 and i'm not a serial killer....yet.

 

[pyrxtc]

I got my first real vacation when I was 28 yrs old so no, I don't think that not taking one every year is cheating your kids.

 

[eliza61]

I may be in the minority here but I gotta tell you, vacations are really not what I remember about my mom.
I lost my mom due to cancer in my mid 20's. the stories my siblings and I swap are rarely about vacations, there are about the little day to day things that made my childhood and teen years great.

We talk about huge Christmas dinners over my grandparents. We laugh at the fact that my mom couldn't cook and we pretty much ate out every day of our lives except when my dad cooked (I grew up in Manhattan so eating out is not a big deal.) We talk about the great style my mom had and how we would dress up to go shopping on 5th ave.
We took family vacations (even to DL which was major since it was on the west coast and involved flying) but I'm always a little leary when I hear people say they need "vacations" to make memories or spend "quality" time with their families. why?

If I die, I don't want my sons to remember me by the trips to DW. I want them to remember the times I put on motown oldies and made every one dance in the family room, I want them to remember that I always made them open and hold the door for young ladies. stuff like that.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Uhm why? My dad would say (and often did) that every day your a kid is pretty much a vacation.

IMO kids are owed only a few things and they are biggies.
1) a loving, stable house hold surrounded by people that love, nurture and respect them. People who spend time with them.
2) quality education
3) the ability to get to a doctor.

vacations are entirely optional. I hope we are not coming to the point where we consider kids deprived because they never get to go to disney.

Absolutely.

We only took a couple of vacations growing up. They were fun, and happy memories, but they have nothing to do with how I view my childhood. My mom raised us on her own, virtually, and what I remember is being loved. By her, by my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. My favorite days were when we were all together, goofing off. Staying up late, and listening to the old people talk, regular every day stuff.

 

[AntePrincess]

When my girls were little we were really poor. We bought a cheap tent and went camping over a long weekend. For us Lancaster, PA is a 3 hr drive. We camped out there, took the girls to Hershey Park after 4pm when tickets were half price. We ate in a nice family style restaurant and hung around the campground. It was great! The kids didn't know how cheap it was...only a coupla hundred, and they didn't realize how short it was.

That's really not a bad idea. We've been thinking of doing a trip to Hershey for their nifty factory tour, and that sounds like just the way to do it. What campground did you stay at?

OP, I think if you balance quality AND quantity time with your kids, then you won't be cheating them by missing a year or two of standard American vacations. While we've been fortunate enough to vacation the last year or two, we had long dry spells before that and honestly didn't feel the lack. We do "staycations" every year, go on day trips, and do fun things at home: taffy pulls, game nights, library movie nights, etc.

 

[AntePrincess]

Paying off your debt is a lot more important than taking a vacation. Why would you even think it's "unfair" that they don't get to go on vacation???? How many ways can you spell RIDICULOUS?!?!?!?

Your kids only go to school 180 days -- in between, they have 2 1/2 to 3 months off in summer (depending where you are), a 1 to 1 1/2 weeks off at Christmas, a week off in February, a week off at Easter, 4 day weekend at Memorial Day, and let's not forget about the 1/2 days and "teacher conference" days.......

A "vacation".... they're on "vacation" until they graduate college and have to enter the real world.

Um, wow. I think that speaks for itself, but it does remind me: visiting Grandma is a perfectly legitimate vacation. That's how I spent school breaks.

 

[WendyisDarling]

Im not thinking disney only, Im thinking anything. I know there are cheap ways to take them somewhere and I know that I do live in one of the most beautiful states in the USA. And we do utilize all the wonderful things that WV has to offer...but thats just it. We LIVE here. Its the same ol' same ol' to us. You can only Hike the mountains and camp so much before you just wanna go do something else. I live on the side of a Mountain. its beautiful. And quality time with my family is another thing I was talking about. Yes, I get plenty of time with my kids, but my DH works a whole lot and to acutally get some quality time with him I have to practically MAKE him take a vacation....and get out of this house. I get that its not a need nor a necessity to take a vacation, and we can afford it, but if we take that money and pay off bills, maybe we can do a really good vacation in a few years. We have already taken our tax return and paid off ALL of our credit cards. So we are in the right direction.

Thanks for all your comments. They have been great...

I grew up in WV, so I do get where you are coming from. We didn't take vacations as my parents thought it was a waste of money. Their income was low end of middle class (middle class for WV) and they had little debt (mortgage, not sure they even had a car payment).
What money they had they would not spend on something intangible and they still are that way.

However, I remember a couple of summers when I was really young and my grandparents took us to the beach (Topsail, NC). It meant so much and remember so many details. This could be because I didn't have vacations after. I do remember wishing we could return. I would have never expected it every year.
One year we went to Kings Island for a day. I was so excited I couldn't sleep the night before.
The rest of the time our "vacation" was attending the County Fair.
DH also grew up in WV and his family had less than mine. They went on vacation every year. Often it involved the pop-up camper: but I hear so many stories of their road trips, squeezing everyone in, etc. Certainly they have no regrets.

When I went to HS, I got involved in an activity that allowed me to travel to a few places: Baltimore, NYC. It opened my eyes to a new world.

WV is beautiful, but when going to the mall is a major event, IMO an escape is good.

Yes, I lived w/o vacation. I don't hate my parents. I do feel like we missed out on family time now that I see how precious that time is with my own kids. Like my DH, my dad worked all the time...it would have been great to have him all to ourselves for a few days. Seems to me OP has the same situation.

I like a pp comment about balance. Use some money to pay more toward debt so it is paid off more quickly, but take a short vacation with your kids. It shouldn't be a WDW blowout. Paying off the debt is important, but your kids will be grown up before you know it. It doesn't sound like you are in debt over your head. You have no credit card debt (be sure to keep it that way.) A lot of us have car payments and go on vacations.

I admire you for trying to make responsible decisions for both your family finances and family well-being. You seem to be a great mom, so you won't go wrong.

 

[SkinsFan76]

The bigger part for vacations for me is to spend quality time with my son, not the location. It was the same way growing up until I got older, then I didn't want to do vacations because it interferred with sports.

 

[twooley2]

WEll I may be the minority. We never took vacations or what kids term vacation today. Yes we went to intown amusement parks the circus and such. It really depends on which one is important and if they both are equal and you cant make decide. I always side with bonding with family and the vacations we take even educate them by exposing them to other environments they would not otherwise be exposed to. They are thus better students, more worldly and money or no money you wont replace their childhood years or memories. Now if it puts you in a bind than by all means this would be a longer term concern and not good for their well being. If its just a choice thing. We all have tradeoffs. We skimp and save on other areas to afford the vacations. We splurge once a year for family big vacations but we see it as a treat for being fruegel all year. Now if one is spending and spending all year than its just plain wasteful and puts people in a do I or not and forces people to make diffucult decisions in this way I would say the kids are cheated by the lack of frugality all year. Not saying this is your case but for some it is. If people are out splurging and making the bills huge than yes they are cheating their kids by not encouraging or making priorities.

 

[TupperMom7]

Honestly, I'd rent a hotel room for a saturday night, swim at the pool, go eat at a favorite resturant, visit a local attraction, it will seem like a vacation, cost very little and give your kids a little taste of something different. For the next couple of years that will be plenty of 'vacation'.

I'd also start the coin jar and tell them it's for a special vacation (don't give an actual location) in a couple of years, then as you save dream of places to go, make them as outlandish as possible, change it every few months, half the fun is planning expecially if you go to the library check out books or even travel dvd's. They'll think it's funny to spend the next few years researching the perfect place to go.

I like Bookgirl's idea of renting a motel room somewhere and using their facilities. Your kids would probably think it was special to sleep in a different bed, eat out or get room service! Watch someone else's TV. Maybe they will have a weekend package or something in the Fall - go leafpeeping somewhere.

And, I can totally relate to the guilt feelings of not taking them somewhere. I deal with that every summer. We do manage to go someplaces around town, but I would love to go to the beach every year with them. I think it's more about making memories then spending a ton of money on WDW if you don't have a ton of money to spend. With little kids you can get by with less to amuse them - anything out of the everyday routine will be surprise and fun for them.

 

[robinb]

I don't think you OWE your kids a vacation, but I personally don't vacation without my DD. She has been all over the world with us and I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[hsmamato2]

OP,maybe you're asking this b/c you went on a short one without the kids? I think your kids will be fine whatever you decide,I know personally,my own kids would feel somewhat sad or left out if we went somewhere without them,and then told them we had no money left to take them after that.
Not that it was extravagant,but to kids,they see a vacation they're not taken on,even if it's short...and..you know.
They're not entitled to one, but no one is,for me,it would be about balancing fun times in between regular life. But even great times camping with other families would be enough for any kid,IMHO. My own kids love all types of travel,from camping at the local beach for cheap to WDW with friends.......

 

[kristinw3girls]

Children deserve your time and attention. It in no way needs to be a typical vacation. It can be day trip type of things. Maybe a trip to a local museum and picnic lunch in a park. How about a trip to the local zoo, or aquarium? There are many, many free to low cost things you can do together. Pay off the debt and take the kids on small trips around your town. We often travel far and wide to visit places, but rarely explore our own backyard!

 

[DISdreamin']

We don't take big vacations - we've only done one to date, last January, when we did a week at Disney. BUT we fly to visit family out west each year, and we usually go to Yellowstone while we do it. And we do small trips here and there - Boston, DC, Niagara Falls, NYC, waterparks, skiing, etc (things of the $500 and under variety, basically!). We have back-yard camped and will start doing some real camping this year. So we DO "vacation", it's just mostly smaller stuff. As long as we're spending time together and making memories, what we actually do is sort of secondary.

Personally, I can see us doing a big vaca trip (solely for vacation, not to visit family) every two to three years at most. I've got a list of places I'd love to visit, but we'll probably only get a few of them in before our kids are grown, so we'll have to choose carefully! I'd say we'll be lucky to ever get in one more Disney trip...DH just isn't that into it.

And BTW, I think setting the example of living debt-free and within your means is probably a more valuable learning experience than any vacation. You go slay that debt!!!

 

[tinkerbelletreasure]

Wow, your kids get a lot of time off school. We dont get that much off. We get the three days off for thanksgiving, 1 1/2 weeks for christmas/new years, a week for spring break, three day weekend for memorial day, and thats about all we get. NO half days or anything like that.

And I dont feel its Ridiculous to want to take my kids somewhere for a vacation. And I would appreciate if people would not flame. Its not a matter of spoiling my kids, I just happen to be one of those parents who had to stay home when i was little cause we couldnt afford to go on vacation. Its not that we cant afford it, its that if we put that money toward something else we can get it paid faster. I want out of debt. its that simple.

Not flaming you, but if you could "afford it" you wouldn't be in debt. Our generation was brought up on credit cards and living beyond our means and it's a hard cycle to break! Kudos for realizing you need to make some changes!
My Dh and I have only been married 4 years, but we were each married previously and have children from former marriages as well as our own. We do a family vacation every other year. On the off years, we do something just the two of us. And we don't feel at all guilty about it. Kids don't have the pressures and stress that adults do. Like someone else mentioned they are "on vacation" until they become adults. And frankly, at least for me, taking kids on vacation, planning activities, budgeting, and making sure they have fun memories, is even harder work than my 9-5 because I want it to be perfect.
What we do do, is get zoo and aquarium passes. We only live 4 hours from Silver Dollar city, so we usually get passes there too and do day trips once a month. If you can take a vacation without adding to your debt, that's fine. But if you are serious about the debt payoff....take your week off work, unplug the phones, and see what kinds of special memories you can make rigth there in your own home! Kids really just need/want the attention we give them on vacation. They don't need the mouse, the beach, ect. They are pretty easily entertained and the memroies of spending time doing something silly with you and your dh will be just as special as Disney ones.

 

[angelat]

Paying off your debt is a lot more important than taking a vacation. Why would you even think it's "unfair" that they don't get to go on vacation???? How many ways can you spell RIDICULOUS?!?!?!?

Your kids only go to school 180 days -- in between, they have 2 1/2 to 3 months off in summer (depending where you are), a 1 to 1 1/2 weeks off at Christmas, a week off in February, a week off at Easter, 4 day weekend at Memorial Day, and let's not forget about the 1/2 days and "teacher conference" days.......

A "vacation".... they're on "vacation" until they graduate college and have to enter the real world.

I bet my kids wish they went to school where your kids go...LOL! They don't have nearly as much time off and we're only 2 states away from you. :-(

With that said, I agree with many of the PPs in that paying off debt is much more important. And without all of that debt, you'll be able to save more for a small vacation every year. Maybe not Disney every year, but a little something everyone will enjoy. We often "feel bad" that we don't do vacations with the kids (or by ourselves) each year. But we're happy knowing that we don't have debt up to our ears either.
Your kids will be fine. You're setting a good example for them anyway.

 

[MrsPete]

Wow, your kids get a lot of time off school. We dont get that much off. We get the three days off for thanksgiving, 1 1/2 weeks for christmas/new years, a week for spring break, three day weekend for memorial day, and thats about all we get. NO half days or anything like that.

I thought all American kids went to school 180 days a year, which leaves 185 days out of school. Different school systems may schedule it differently (spring break mid-way through the year vs. spring break scheduled at Easter), but I think they all have the same amount of time in the classroom.