Do you think suicide is a selfish act?

[PaulaSB12]

I also answered somewhat. IMO there is nothing worth killing yourself over. At least for me personally. But if someone is suffering from deep depression I think they are not thinking clearly and might feel that it is the best choice. I personally don't understand that way of thinking though.

My first thoughts are always about my DDs and DH and how whatever I say or do would effect them.

That is easy for you to say, when I was 12 the only thing I wanted to do was to die my first thought in the morning was why did I have to still be alive. I could see no way out o the complete hell that was my school life death was all I could think of. It was only the care of my mother that prevented me killing myself something I regretted for many years but am happy that I didn't do now as an adult. Its hard to explain but you really do think that it would be better for all your family if you where no longer alive.

 

[PaulaSB12]

This makes me think about the little boy Carl that lived outside of Boston & killed himself because of the everyday bullying.......at 12 years old I don't think suicide was in any way selfish it was a release of pain a child could no longer withstand.
So very sad but I do think of his Mom having to cut him down from the extension cord & his sister that was in the house.
If anything good could come out of such a tragedy it's that his Mom is now speaking to other children & school officials bringing light to what a serious situation school bullying can be.

If it hadn't been for my mother that would have been me, the worst part was when my parents complained to the school about the bulling the head teacher (principal?) joined in with the bullying its bad enough when kids are calling you dirt how do you handle it when the adults start as well.

 

[bananda]

i said somewhat. people who are suicidal probably arent really thinking about the people who they would leave behind, they are looking for an escape for themselves. but i have no idea what these people are going through and what is in their heads.
i think its very sad.

 

[foodlover_US]

I would say it's not a selfish act. Suicide is the act of a damaged mind. Its not a rational decision, and as such you cannot possibly understand how or what they are thinking when they commit suicide.

 

[shortbun]

I've been thinking about this since I saw the thread pop up. I posted about my mother who died a week ago. I agree that holding up traffic for some drama is pretty dumb but I realize that this person was mentally ill so my thoughts are that they were crazy, beyond simple reasoning and in need of assistance. But pushing them off the bridge? Now THAT was a selfish act because that person was able to reason and chose to help themselves rather than a person in need of assistance. It's a weird scenario and I'm glad I was not there!!!

 

[Buckalew11]

i said somewhat. people who are suicidal probably arent really thinking about the people who they would leave behind, they are looking for an escape for themselves. but i have no idea what these people are going through and what is in their heads.
i think its very sad.

I have a friend whose son committed suicide at 19. He was depressed for years. No big event caused him to commit suicide. It was years of depression. Anyway, he did contemplate alot before he did it. One of his mom's friend's daughters had been killed in an accident. Before he killed himself he went to that mom and asked her how she was and if he could do anything for her. He wanted to talk to her and see if she was OK after the dd's death and if her life was about to move forward. He did a few things around the house for her (moved some boxes etc.) and then left. The woman had no idea at the time that he was trying to see if his mom would be OK after his death too. So sometimes people do really think a lot of it through more than we think.

 

[frisco]

It is wicked selfish to tie up traffic on purpose and IMO more than a little cruel to support that. But that's me and obviously other people have other opinions.

I'm just curious, do you think someone who is standing on the ledge of a bridge threatening to kill himself, planned out how he could mess up the afternoon's commute?

If he was planning on committing suicide, he has some severe issues, depression to the nth degree, and needed help.

If he wasn't planning to commit suicide, he clearly was looking for some attention, and needed help.

Sure, it's possible this particular guy could have just been being a wise guy and trying to get laughs, but who are we to decide? Chances are, he was serious or needed some help, in which case, I can't imagine giving a crap about traffic conditions.

 

[Stitchfans]

That is easy for you to say, when I was 12 the only thing I wanted to do was to die my first thought in the morning was why did I have to still be alive. I could see no way out o the complete hell that was my school life death was all I could think of. It was only the care of my mother that prevented me killing myself something I regretted for many years but am happy that I didn't do now as an adult. Its hard to explain but you really do think that it would be better for all your family if you where no longer alive.

Not sure why you singled me out of all the other posts. but I am sure glad that your mom was there for you. Imagine the severe pain she would of went through had you commit suicide.


Hope you are much older now and away from those that were hurting you.

 

[Disney Doll]

Assumptions are dangerous things. You couldn't be more wrong.

Somehow I don't think so. Although I do agree with you that assumptions are dangerous things.

 

[Alyssa88]

When a friend in high school killed himself it was really difficult for me to understand.

I was angry, because we had no idea. He was the class-clown, nobody saw it coming. I wish he would have reached out for help. I was upest he just gave up, he had no problem leaving the people who cared about him behind. I was so angry and never really dealt with it. When I first found out about it I sort of just walked away and ignored it.

A few years later and I realize that what he was going through must have been terrible. I understand his decision a little better now.

I truely think that if you have these thoughts, you must vocalize them. Tell somebody. If you say it or write, you seem to be less likely to go through with it.

 

[amid chaos]

I wonder how many of those who voted NO have been personally touched by suicide.

 

[Bluestars]

I do not think that suicide is a selfish act any more than any other act. In a way I think that every act we do is selfish because we are doing it to benefit ourselves either spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, or physically.

Based on my experience with someone who was once suicidal, I think the person is in so much emotional pain that they just want it to end. They probably feel like everyone would be better off without them. Unfortunately, they don't realize that the pain won't last forever. It's like they are in a dark place and believe there is no hope of ever getting out except through death.

We are all selfish in a way by thinking how could the person who committed suicide have done that to us. I think suicide brings such a range of emotions in the people left behind. We want to understand something that is (I believe) incomprehensible to people who have not suffered with what must be very deep feelings of despair and hopelessness.

 

[Breezie]

I wonder how many of those who voted NO have been personally touched by suicide.

I'll bite.

I voted no, and one of my closest friends from high school committed suicide a little over two years ago. When it first happened, I was incredibly angry and hurt. But as time passed and the hurt started to lessen, I realized he was in a complete dark hole. I have been severely depressed, and know what it's like to be driving down the road, coming towards a red light and thinking, "God, if I just take my foot off the brake, this will all be over soon."

I thank my stars I never did, nor will I ever do such a thing. But when someone is so mentally ill and depressed that suicide seems like a logical answer, they're not making a conscious decision based on others. I can't be angry with him. Do I wish he was still here? Of course. Do I wish he would have called someone before he pulled the trigger? Yes! I kick myself for not calling him.

It's hard for survivors because we'll never have an answer. That was incredibly hard for the first year. But you know, I don't need an answer anymore. Because he's not in pain anymore. And now, that's all that matters.

And I hope you don't think this reply was snarky, because that wasn't my intention at all.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I was reminded of this thread when reading an article on CNN. It was about a camp for children who have lost their parents to war, and one of the campers they interviewed lost his father to suicide after he returned home from the war.

The interview with the young man was very moving and it touched on a lot of the points that have been brought up in this thread. I'm sure that a lot of people could look at it and say "how could he do that to his friends and family?" But I don't think he was diong anything to them. Suicide is a sad reality for many of our veterans returning home. The Post Traumatic Stress is very difficult to deal with, many of them have seen things that we cannot even imagine, lived in a place where every decision is life or death. Readjusting to civilian life is very difficult for many of them. Can you imagine the toll that takes on the human psyche? They are victims of this horrible war just as much as those who were killed in combat.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I wonder how many of those who voted NO have been personally touched by suicide.[/quot


I'll bite as well...personally touched & voted "no".

 

[amid chaos]

Breezie, not snarky at all, very well said. I'm glad you have gotten over the anger and hurt.

I have seen grandparents, who survived the holocaust while seeing their family members die in concentration camps, totally devastated by a suicide...they were never the same after.

I have seen the sister who begged her brother not to hurt himself, never get over the guilt.

And the parents who now have to live with the guilt of feeling like they weren't good enough parents.

What suicide leaves behind shows me that in this instance, this was an act of selfishness.

But I do understand that we all have our opinion and I respect that.

 

[Aisling]

I treid to aviod this thread, for the horrible memories it brings back, but I think I should share my personal experience with suicide.

A few years ago, I was sitting in my car waiting for a store to open. Across the street I noticed a young woman standing by an open window on the 5th floor of an apartment building. It got my attention because she was in a blue bathrobe and just standing there looking out. Something just looked odd about it. After about 15 minutes, I saw she was sitting sideways on the windowsill. I got scared and thought my god, she'd better be careful. I knew I didn't want to see someone accidentally fall out of a window, and it made me nervous. The store opened, I got out of the car and went in. By then, people were starting to notice and talking about it in the store. I live in NYC and have seen lots of crazy things, so I didn't think suicide, just stupid.

Well, about 10 more minutes pass and people started shouting. Lots of people ran out of the store to see what was going on. The woman had her legs out the window, sort of laying on her back on the windowsill, like she was going to slide out. At that point, all I could think of was I have to get away from here. I didn't want to see something that would probably haunt me forever. I hurried to get my items and get out, I was going to run to my car and get away. Then there was screaming and I knew she jumped. I almost went into a panic attack. It took about an hour for me to get myself to leave the store. I left, ran to my car, and took off. Thank God I didn't see the woman who I think was still laying on the sidewalk across the street. It was very crowded by then with police cars, fire engines and people.

After I got over the shock of what just happened, I felt such saddness than I ever felt before. How upset this woman had to be to do this. What made it so sad was that, looking back, I knew she must have been talking to herself the whole time, since the whole thing took maybe a half hour since I saw her standing at the window until she jumped. I have no idea how long she had actually been standing there. Maybe she was summoning her courage, maybe she had doubts about jumping, I just feel OMG in that time she took, why couldn't she have changed her mind. What personal pain and hell was she going through to make her do this.

Anyway, I didn't think she was selfish. I believe she was beyond that, that her perception was that she couldn't take it anymore, whatever "it" was. All she probably felt at that point was her pain. I think of a person burning up in a fire. If that person had a gun, they'd probably shoot themself in the head to end the pain of being burned alive. You can't reason, you can't think maybe you'll be saved, you can't think of loved ones, and if you do, you're probably thinking they'd be better off without you, your life has no value, you just know you need to end the pain. The pain takes over all rational thought.

I often wondered why she just didn't take pills and go to sleep and die. But after talking to some friends about it, they said that some people who commit suicide hate themselves so much that they want to punish themselves by destroying their physical body. Others say because taking pills give someone the chance to change their minds, call 911, before it's too late. Jumping doesn't give you the chance to back out once you're falling.

Anyway, sorry this is so long.

 

[luvmy3]

I really don't know. A part of me thinks of course its selfish because they are not thinking of the impact that their death would cause others who love them, especially if they have children.
The other part of me thinks its no more selfish than treating any other illness, whether that be by medication, therapy or something else. A suicidal person sees their death as the answer to their illness, they shouldn't have to carry the burden of how their cure effects anyone else but themself, I think they are suffering enough.

 

[ols386]

I think suicide, many times, is a cry for help.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

One of my dear friend's brother commited suicide in his early 20's. I absolutely think suicide is selfish! It is a way to ease your own pain without any regard to the pain that your loved ones will be suffering for the rest of their lives!